If only there was Google maps for navigating relationships. Maybe we wouldn’t get so lost and wonder where on earth we’re going quite so often.
Sadly love doesn’t come with step-by-step instructions.
But what if you could get some clear guidance and practical tools to help you navigate your way through the relationship jungle?
That’s the idea behind Relationship Hero.
But does it deliver?
In this honest review, I’m going to share my own experiences of using the site to get relationship coaching.
I’ll tell you all the need-to-know details, and explain the biggest pros and cons.
Because the truth is that Relationship Hero is not going to be a good fit for everyone.
First off, what is Relationship Hero?
Relationship Hero is an online coaching site that offers you advice and support on your relationships.
It’s like having an expert in your corner who can give you practical and actionable tips and tricks on how to improve your relationship issues.
Users can call, text, or video chatting with a selection of up to 70 full-time coaches that are on hand at any time of day (we’re talking 24-7).
I’m guessing that, like me, a lot of people reach out for love, dating, and romantic relationship advice.
But they can help with all sorts of relationship problems. So that also includes things like family issues, friendship disputes, problems with your boss, etc.
Basically, if it’s an issue you have with another human being, it’s a relationship problem and so it’s covered by this type of coaching.
Is Relationship Hero trusted?
As the founder of a successful personal development website, Hack Spirit, one of the questions I get asked a lot is about whether Relationship Hero can be trusted.
So I think it’s important to put that to bed pretty early on. Yes, Relationship Hero is legit.
I’ve personally used it quite a few times. And whilst I don’t think it’s suitable for everyone (more on that soon), the quality is certainly high.
It was founded in San Fran back in 2016, and since then they say they’ve helped over 100,000 people in their relationships.
They’ve also gotten over 64,000 5-star reviews. So they must be doing something right.
So they’ve established themselves as a trusted source in delivering relationship coaching.
What can Relationship Hero help with?
I already mentioned that the scope of issues Relationship Hero helps with is pretty wide.
They can help with specific relationships you are having problems in. But they can also help with more general relationship problems you might have.
For example, if you feel like you suck at dating, you always pick the wrong types of guys, or you don’t have a clue how to speak to women.
It’s not an exhaustive list, but here are a few examples of what they say they can help with, just to highlight the range of things we’re talking about:
- Social and conversational skills
- Analyzing text conversations
- Suggestions on how to communicate or message an ex or partner
- Navigating dating, including online dating and profile creation
- Reading body language
- Interpreting mixed signals
Why I got a relationship coach
When I was growing up, therapy certainly wasn’t the norm. You just sort of got on with things.
It’s funny how things change. Nowadays people turn to therapists simply to share the regular everyday burdens of life.
I think coaching is sort of the new therapy. It’s seen rapid growth in recent years. And I think for good reason.
Relationships don’t come with a handbook. And people are realizing it’s a lot better idea to get support in your relationships than let things fall apart.
I recently got married. But the reality is that marriage isn’t the happy ending of a relationship. It’s still hard work sometimes. Every relationship will always have its ups and downs. Mine certainly has.
After all, you can love someone but that doesn’t mean you won’t have problems.
I don’t believe in sugarcoating my life and presenting some glossy image. And the truth is that sometimes I do feel frustrated in my relationship (and I think that’s totally normal).
Running Hack Spirit, a site dedicated to offering practical and accessible relationship advice, (and as a bit of a self-help junkie) my own growth is vitally important to me.
So a few years ago, at a time when we were experiencing some difficulties in the relationship, Jess (my wife) and I both decided to seek out relationship coaching.
I’ll go into my experiences in more detail later. But it certainly helped us to communicate more openly with each other.
The big difference between relationship coaching and therapy
Hands down, I much prefer coaching to therapy.
Because I’m solution focused.
I don’t want to just talk about my feelings. I want to find practical and action-oriented solutions to feel like I’m moving forward.
For sure therapy is useful for some people, but others (like me) may feel that coaching is a better fit for their needs.
For me, with traditional therapy, I can quickly fall into the habit of just complaining about my problems, and in the process, staying stuck in them.
But Relationship Hero isn’t just offering someone to listen to you (although that is a part of it). It feels far more proactive than therapy.
They are there to help you set goals. And then they support and strategize with you as you work towards those goals.
In short: it’s not just talking the talk, it’s walking the walk too.
How much does Relationship Hero cost?
You’ll see in my pros and cons section of this review (coming up next), that the pricing is one area I think needs improvement.
Whether something is expensive or not is always going to be relative. But we’re certainly not talking pocket change.
I can’t give you a precise figure, as it depends on which coach you opt for, and whether you choose a one-off session or sign up for more regular coaching.
Relationship Hero says prices range between $80-250/hr. And that they offer discounted per-hour rates for larger purchases.
I have found that depending on whether I’m logged in, or using a different browser, some of the prices seem to change slightly. Which is a bit confusing.
But to give you an idea, I managed to find some standard coaches offering a one-hour introductory session for $85.
I also saw a coaching subscription with a standard coach, offering 4 hours of coaching a month, for $280 (aka $70 a session).
Some coaches also offer 30-minute sessions or 45-minute sessions, which may provide a more affordable option.
A limited number of coaches also offered a price-per-minute option on request. But these were about $2.50-$3 per minute.
Personally, I wouldn’t like that as the clock is constantly ticking and I’m not sure what you’d be able to resolve in less than half an hour.
As a final note on price, it’s also worth mentioning that they don’t take insurance.
The Pros and Cons of Relationship Hero
It’s really convenient and accessible
The sheer convenience of Relationship Hero is a huge plus for me.
When you’re going through a hard time you want the support you get to be as quick and easy as possible.
And Relationship Hero definitely delivers that.
It’s a 24-7 resource that you can access whenever you need it most.
You also get to choose how you feel most comfortable communicating with your coach (by phone, video or live chat)
When you’re going through a crisis, you don’t have to wait to book an appointment. You can pretty much connect with an expert instantly.
It’s proactive and you get advice and actionable steps to take
I already mentioned this earlier. But for me, one of the stand-out differences of Relationship Hero is that they aren’t just providing a sympathetic ear.
Instead, you are going to get practical advice and come up with steps you can take to improve your situation.
They won’t just listen to your problems, they will try to help you solve them.
Not everything you try may work, but in my experience, a lot did (because they aren’t using guesswork, they are using their expertise).
If you want to find the right thing to say to your ex to get them back, they’ll help you write the perfect message.
If you don’t know how to approach a tricky conversation with your partner, they’ll help you figure out the best way to communicate it.
If you haven’t had a date in years and you can’t figure out what you’re doing wrong, they will work out the problem so you can fix it.
Coaching with Relationship Hero is very actionable.
You learn a lot about yourself
You don’t just learn about your relationships, you essentially learn about yourself. Which is at the root of it all.
Let me give you an example.
I found the discussion I had around core issues and core needs, as well as on destructive behavior patterns and coping mechanisms, really interesting.
It helped me work things out about myself and reflect on them. Basically, you start to understand the root causes behind your behavior and your partner’s behavior.
And this is so valuable in learning to solve your own problems.
The coaches are genuinely sympathetic and kind
I’ve spoken to a couple of the coaches on Relationship Hero. And they have always been really understanding, knowledgable, and easy to talk to.
Choosing a coach or therapist online can feel risky and you don’t know if you’re making the right choice.
I know that when I use a coach through Relationship Hero there is a standard of quality I can expect.
If you don’t happen to gel with your coach for whatever reason, you can always switch.
All the information you share is completely confidential, and the coaches adhere to a code of conduct when it comes to ethics and standards.
The website has lots of useful free resources and advice
I admit I only found this because I knew I was writing a review of Relationship Hero, so I went digging around on the website.
There’s actually a wealth of fascinating information and resources available there.
I would really recommend you check out the Client Handbook.
If, like me, you’re interested in human psychology I think you’ll find it super interesting.
You get practical self-help tools to use including meditations, an emotion stabilizing questionnaire, and a so-called future-defining worksheet.
There are also some in-depth explanations of all kinds of relationship issues and scenarios.
I’m obviously a married man. But there are really practical dating tips based on the fundamentals of attraction which are very insightful.
It goes so in-depth that it even includes detailed discussions of dating online which are broken down into the rules of the game for guys and girls.
Most coaches don’t have formal qualifications
The vast majority of the relationship coaches on Relationship Hero are not legally trained professionals (aka therapists or psychologists).
Some do have additional and relevant qualifications, and their credentials are all listed and explained in their profiles. So if you want that, you can find coaches there who have professional training.
But the reality is that, unlike therapy, the coaching industry is not legally regulated. And I think that’s important to be aware of.
Relationship Hero coaches are trained in-house. They get 160 hours of training (both theory and practical). They also get special training in common issues like breakups, cheating, codependency, dating problems, etc.
What I will say is that I don’t think qualifications always matter. They certainly could still be considered relationship experts.
So whether the lack of official qualifications is a “con” for you probably just depends on your own needs and preferences.
It can become expensive
Let’s face it, coaching is clearly a luxury and not an essential.
If you are struggling to pay the bills and put food on the table, this understandably isn’t going to be for you.
I tried to look at it as an investment in the thing that means most to me — my relationship. But you still need to be in a financial position where you can do that.
Depending on where you live in the world, you might be able to find cheaper options available locally.
Relationship Hero is based in San Francisco. So the prices are probably cheap compared to regular therapists and coaches in California.
But that isn’t necessarily going to be the case depending on your own local economy.
What I will say though is that generally speaking, coaching is pretty expensive. I know a few coaches and they charge far more than $100 an hour that’s for sure.
So whether you want to pay the money just comes down to your own financial situation and your priorities.
But particularly if you want ongoing support, the cost can certainly start to rack up.
The price plans need some work
It’s not only that it’s pricey. I also feel like prices should be more transparent and simplified on the site.
I get that each relationship coach has different levels of experience and expertise, and so prices will reflect that.
But sometimes it feels like a cell phone plan, with all its talk of “credits”, “subscriptions” and “pay per minute” options.
It can feel quite complicated rather than straightforward to try to gauge how much it will cost you.
When I first joined, I had to check out the FAQs to even find mention of the prices, rather than putting it in an obvious place on the website.
And even then, the price range is a bit vaguely quoted as being between $80-$250 an hour.
When searching for a coach, you can filter your search by Standard coach, Senior coach, or Master coach.
Standard is the cheapest — with a guide price of $75-$100 an hour listed. And you can find some coaches at that price.
But in reality, the prices vary wildly even amongst the standard coaches, with many far in excess of the price guidelines given.
In fact, a lot of the standard coaches are charging $200 for an hour of coaching, which is obviously double the estimate given.
How Relationship Hero works
You’ve got a couple of options for getting started.
If you press the “Get Started button” on the homepage, you’ll be taken to a profiler quiz.
This asks you a series of questions about your situation so that it can match you with the best coach to help you.
It will then connect you to an online chat with the recommended coach to briefly discuss and assess things more.
Very quickly though you are guided to book your first introductory session with the coach.
During that session, you will come away with a detailed assessment of your relationship problems, and the best course of action to take.
You then get the choice of signing up for more regular sessions for ongoing support.
Alternatively, you can find your own coach rather than being matched up to one through the online directory.
There are a variety of search criteria you can narrow your search down with. You can also look for coaches with particular areas of expertise like:
Polyamory, Religion conflict, Sex, Grief, Drug addiction, ADHD, Fetishes and Kinks, and more.
My experience with Relationship Hero
One of the reasons I went to Relationship Hero was that I personally found it easier to use an online service as opposed to meeting up with someone in person.
It felt a bit more anonymous and yet strangely intimate this way. I felt like I was able to open up.
For starters, I found it really helpful to discuss my relationship issues with someone neutral and objective. But at the same time, it also felt like they were on my side, which probably helped put me at ease.
Simply saying certain things out loud did a lot more than I expected in lightening my load. I guess just getting things off my chest was a relief, rather than it continuing to go around and around in my own head.
But I also left my coaching sessions with insights into how I can make my relationship better. And I got some advice on things I could do to improve the overall communication between me and my wife.
I think it probably helped that Jess also saw her own coach through Relationship Hero. So it felt like we were both improving our relationship together. But I don’t think it’s in any way essential for your partner to also have coaching.
And for sure, I think we are way better at discussing our problems and listening to one another now.
Who is Relationship Hero a good fit for?
I think Relationship Hero is a great resource for pretty much anyone who is facing frustrations, issues, or challenges in any of their relationships (not necessarily romantic).
- People who need help finding love
- People who struggle with dating
- People dealing with a breakup
- People who want to reconcile with an ex
- People with any kind of issue or stumbling block in their current relationship
It’s also ideal for anyone who is feeling stuck when it comes to a relationship or their love life and needs a plan.
This is where it does differ from therapy and even other coaches.
Normally therapists and coaches don’t give advice, but Relationship Hero coaches are specifically trained to do this.
Who isn’t Relationship Hero a good fit for?
If you have trauma or any kind of mental health issues, I would always recommend making sure you speak to a medical professional, not a coach.
Whilst coaching can help people work through life problems and relationship issues, if you have more serious problems, you need to talk to a doctor who has medical training.
Relationship Hero will ask you about your mental health before connecting you to a coach. They will also ask whether there is violence in your relationship.
They are not trained to deal with these sorts of issues, and so will refuse coaching if that applies to you.
Other than that, I’d say it’s not the right fit for people who are looking for an instant magic fix.
They can offer advice and guidance, but you obviously have to do the work and make changes yourself.
The different types of coaching available on Relationships Hero
Individual coaching is pretty much what we’ve discussed up to now. It’s working with the coach on a 1-1 level.
You sign up with a coach of your choice, for a certain amount of time, and the two of you discuss your relationship situation and issues together.
Group coaching is where you join other people in a similar situation to you and share a session.
Basically, the benefits are that it’s cheaper.
But you can also gain from others’ experiences and feel the support of people who understand what you’re going through. The sessions are centred around sharing the same struggles.
Apparently, there’s also some research that says it can be even more effective listening to other people be coached. We’re somehow more receptive, so it clicks better.
The group coaching sessions are all listed online, and you sign up for which one applies to you.
They are available by buying “credit” with the coach who is running the group session.
The sort of topics covered are incredibly varied and include things like:
- Rebuilding trust after cheating
- Interpreting texts, behaviors or events
- Clarity on leaving vs staying
- Dealing with No Contact
- Men’s/Women’s dating
- Processing negative emotions you’re experiencing
- Rebuilding confidence and overcoming insecurity
As the name suggests, this is a coaching session that happens with your partner (or the person who you are trying to improve your relationship with).
In it, you discuss your issues and try to find resolutions together.
Are there alternatives to Relationship Hero?
A quick Google search and you’ll see that there are plenty of relationship coaches online. Although I personally haven’t found any that I think rivals what is on offer through Relationship Hero.
So I would say that the alternatives to Relationship Hero would be either:
- Finding your own therapist or coach
- Talking to a friend
Talking to a friend is free, so that’s obviously a big bonus.
And I’d say that if you just want someone to listen to you to get things off your chest, it could still be your best bet.
But (depending on your friend) I’m assuming they aren’t going to give you expert advice. And realistically, nor are they going to be objective and non-judgemental.
After all, they know you and so are bound to have preconceived ideas. And I think that’s what makes speaking to friends and family difficult for a lot of us.
You could also try to find a therapist. If you are dealing with any kind of mental health issues, this should definitely be the option you go for.
The plus is that they are going to have more specialist training. But if it’s specifically relationship advice you want, they’re not going to be able to offer it.
Remember I talked earlier about Relationship Hero’s unique selling point that they do step in and give you actionable guidance and support. This isn’t something therapists will do.
So again, it depends on whether you want someone to listen or if you want a plan to follow.
To conclude: is Relationship Hero worth it?
All things considered, for me using Relationship Hero was definitely worth it.
I haven’t signed up to have consistent coaching sessions regularly, as right now I don’t feel I need to.
But having more sessions is for sure something I know I will do again in the future to help support me in my marriage and to continue to improve our relationship.
I think whether it’s ultimately worth it for you will depend on your priorities and if you can comfortably find the money to invest in it. As it is clearly not a cheap option or affordable for everyone.
What I can reassure you is that I found the quality of coaching high through Relationship Hero, and the advice was incredibly practical and constructive.
As someone who founded the personal development site Hack Spirit, it’s probably no surprise that I value growth and taking self-responsibility.
And Relationship Hero helps you to do both these things, as well as improve your relationships with the support of expert guidance.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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