Starting a new relationship is exciting. We get to know a new person better, and more often than not, we get butterflies in our bellies.
That’s why it’s devastating when you start having suspicions that something might be wrong. You have a hunch that the person you’ve been dating isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
You believe they’re a serial cheater. In fact, they might be cheating on you already. To find out if that’s really the case, there are some red flags you need to look out for.
So, let’s discover what they are.
1) You catch them in lies or inconsistencies
You had such high hopes for this new relationship. However, even if you’re still infatuated with your new partner, some small lies or inconsistencies in their stories start adding up.
It could be about where they were last night, who they were with, or why they couldn’t answer your calls.
If you notice this happening a lot, it’s time to confront them and even end the relationship if your gut feeling is telling you that they aren’t upfront with you and that they’ll cheat on you the first chance they get.
That’s if they haven’t already.
2) They have a history of cheating in previous relationships
Okay, another big red flag is if you find out that in their previous relationships, they’ve been cheating.
This makes you wonder if they’ve really changed their ways and if they could end up cheating on you too.
But there’s another reason for concern – if they’ve had a history of short, intense relationships in the past.
In that case, it’s natural to question whether they’ll stay faithful and committed in your relationship, considering their past track record.
Both of these are red flags that you’ve started dating a serial cheater. And so is this:
3) They’re too flirtatious with others, even in your presence
They act all flirty with others, even when you’re standing right next to them. It’s like they can’t help themselves, and it’s just awkward and painful to see.
It’s like they’re not respecting the fact that you two are in a committed relationship, and it makes you feel like they don’t value the special bond you share.
They’re the scorpion in The Scorpion and the Fox fable, where it can’t help itself but sting the fox when they’re both in the water.
4) They downplay the importance of fidelity in a relationship
If a bank manager told you they’re not against people robbing banks and that it’s no big deal, what would you think of them?
Nothing good, right?
So if your partner makes comments that minimize the significance of monogamy, such as “it’s just physical” or “everyone cheats,” you’d probably get the hell out of there, right?
5) They seem too interested in the opposite sex in a way that makes you uncomfortable
We all know that meme where the boyfriend’s looking at a girl walking by them, and his girlfriend scoffs at him.
Well, if that’s your new partner, you might be in a lot of trouble.
Their excessive interest in the opposite sex obviously goes beyond healthy curiosity. And if it involves constant ogling, inappropriate comments, or flirting, you’re going to feel uneasy all the time, basically.
6) They avoid introducing you to their friends or family
Have you noticed that your partner hasn’t really made an effort to introduce you to the important people in their life, like their friends and family?
In most committed relationships, it’s natural to want to bring your significant other into your inner circle, but in your case, it’s not happening as expected.
It’s like they’re keeping you at a distance from the people who mean a lot to them.
It’s a huge red flag about just how serious they are about the relationship. In fact, they could be a serial cheater if you noticed other clues from this list too.
7) You find hidden dating profiles or messages
They guard their phone like a treasure, often keeping it face down, using a strong passcode, or refusing to let you touch it.
When you ask about their messages, they become defensive, making you wonder what they’re hiding.
So when day, your suspicions come true. You’re going about your daily routine, perhaps borrowing your partner’s phone to look something up or check a message.
But instead of what you expected, you stumble upon something that makes your heart sink.
Discovering hidden dating profiles or finding secret messages on your partner’s devices is a gut-wrenching experience.
It’s like stumbling upon a locked diary that reveals secrets you were never meant to see. It’s a real shocker, and it’s hard to ignore or brush off.
8) They’re frequently canceling plans or disappearing for periods without explanation
You’ve been looking forward to spending quality time with your partner. You’ve made plans, maybe for a romantic dinner or a weekend getaway.
But all too often, at the last minute, they call or text with an excuse like “I have to work late” or “something came up.”
These excuses are too vague and lack detail, leaving you feeling frustrated and uncertain about what’s really going on.
This is concerning because it suggests they may be using these disappearing acts as opportunities to chat on you.
It’s as if they’re creating space to meet with someone else or hide their actions.
9) They don’t like discussing commitment or exclusivity
You’ve been dating someone for a while, and things are going well, or at least you think so.
You’re starting to catch feelings, and you wonder about where this is heading. You muster up the courage to talk about exclusivity or the future, maybe asking, “Are we officially together?” or “Where do you see this going?”
But here’s the thing: they avoid these conversations like the plague.
This could be a significant red flag. So, if your partner is dodging these important discussions, you need to address this issue and find out where they truly stand in your relationship.
But then, there’s another obstacle that could come up:
10) They’re defensive or dismissive when you express your concerns
Instead of a heartfelt conversation, they snap back defensively, throwing the blame on you or making light of your concerns.
They say things like, “You’re just overreacting,” or “You’re too paranoid.” Sometimes, their response might even escalate into an explosive argument, leaving you feeling unheard and awful.
You’re hitting a brick wall every time you try to address your worries about their loyalty.
That’s obviously not a great position to be in. If that was me, I wouldn’t think twice about leaving them.
11) They don’t show empathy for the pain cheating causes
A significant warning sign is also when your partner doesn’t seem to understand just how much cheating hurts. They’re wearing emotional blinders, unable to see the pain and heartache it causes.
They make it seem like cheating is not a big deal, brushing it off as a minor mistake.
It’s a clear sign that they’re not taking your emotions seriously and are even showing a disregard for the consequences of their actions.
This is a good time to leave them as any.
Catching your partner in the act of cheating or finding concrete evidence, such as explicit text messages, photographs, or other indisputable proof, leaves little room for doubt.
But if you only have a hunch and a couple of red flags, you need to confront them.
After that, and after seeing their response to your concerns, you’ll be better equipped to make a decision about whether this relationship and this person are worth it.