10 reasons women prefer emotionally intelligent men for relationships

You might be surprised that most women are looking for emotional intelligence.

It’s one of the most valuable traits they look for in a partner—especially if they want a long-term relationship.

You wanna know why?

Here are 10 reasons women prefer emotionally intelligent men for relationships.

1) They don’t need to be a mindreader 

For many women, being with a man who isn’t self-aware is like being a weather forecaster keeping track of a disaster waiting to happen.

While having triggers and negative emotions like jealousy, anger, or resentment isn’t bad in itself—hey, we’re all human after all—it becomes damaging to the relationship when there is constant passive-aggressiveness.

As intuitive as women can be, it can get exhausting when they are burdened with the expectation of being a mind reader just because their partner doesn’t know how to navigate their own feelings nor communicate with empathy.

2) They don’t feel like a mother

Let’s face it. We all go through a wide range of emotions each day so the capacity to self-regulate when one is triggered are highly attractive traits in any relationship, but especially a romantic one.

From the time they are children, women are brought up in society with a higher expectation to manage their emotions and handle interpersonal relationships.

So to meet a man who has the emotional intelligence they had as a child can be frustrating because it makes them feel like a mother. 

It’s worse if the man has a tendency to act up even in public and social situations. I mean, who would want that kind of stress?

With an emotionally intelligent man, they have a partner who has the right blend of vulnerability and resilience to handle life’s hard knocks as they come.

3) They have a partner to manage social responsibilities with

The emotionally intelligent man is considerate of their partner’s needs and feelings. But they also go beyond that!

They are considerate of everyone too— their partner’s family, friends, their own co-workers, even strangers they come across on the street.

Rather than leaving the woman to do all the emotional and mental labor of maintaining relationships with their circles, the emotionally intelligent man also takes note of birthdays, special events. 

They even contribute to decision-making such as what gifts to give your nephews and nieces and what food to prepare for a party.

For women who are used to weighing the feelings of everyone around them, to have a partner who understands the complicated dance of social responsibilities is a huge burden lifted off their shoulders.

Especially around Christmas time and holidays, the woman with the most emotionally intelligent partner is the envy of all her friends.

4) They don’t feel like a nagger

To have an emotionally intelligent man is to have a trustworthy man. You can trust them enough to give and receive constructive criticism with kindness and love…and it’s such a blessing!

Women realize they’ve been setting the bar low their entire lives once they meet the highly emotionally intelligent man who doesn’t just tolerate constructive criticism, but openly invites it and can also give it really well.

This sets the standard for all future interactions to the point that men with fragile egos become thoroughly intolerable for them to be with.

This is why women prefer the emotionally intelligent man who appreciates and listens to feedback, is open to change, and can be expected to return the favor.

Deep down, women don’t always want to be right. They know that a partner who can give constructive criticism well from a space of love is a priceless treasure worth keeping.

5) They have so much more fun and inspiration

Emotionally intelligent men welcome change, have immense capacity for growth, and thus, are more fun to be with.

While women need stability, being stuck in a monotonous routine because their man is resistant to change and not open to exploration can be draining and thoroughly uninspiring.

From their dating places and meals, to interacting with different circles, to their life strategies and goals, women can rely on the emotionally intelligent man to spice things up and explore outside of the comfort zone.

For women, this means that even the mundane day to day can be a fun adventure.

6) They feel safe and unconditionally loved

What women are looking for is a partner who loves their imperfections and gives them a safe space for growth.

Let’s face it, perfection is nerve-wracking and being with men who demand and expect it is like being in a pressure cooker.

Being liked and loved just because you do what they expect and want you to do eventually makes women feel bitter and resentful. And so, they will never choose to go that way again no matter how much they like a man.

Women crave the feeling of being constantly loved as they stumble through the growth zone just as much as their gifts and achievements that only emotionally intelligent men can give.

This also gives women the additional courage to pursue challenges because they have the confidence that even if they fall, someone’s got their back.

7) They have someone to help keep things in perspective 

An emotionally intelligent man looks at situations in various ways and helps keep things in perspective.

Women choose them because they have foresight into how current actions and practices will affect their future, while having the capacity to look at situations from different angles before making a move.

Women who are used to juggling multiple things would of course choose a man who has the capacity to feel their emotions and then step back or look ahead to see the best courses of action.

With them, women feel like they can conquer the world together as they plan a life together with endless possibilities and paths. 

8) They have full permission to lead and pursue greatness

Women who have been in relationships with insecure men know it’s difficult enough to reach life goals WHILE also trying to make sure your partner doesn’t feel threatened by your success.

Men who haven’t developed their emotional intelligence will have fragile egos that can only be appeased if they’re on top. But emotionally intelligent men are steady and supportive through the tough times and shining moments and have no problem when a woman leads.

He is also happy and content when a woman takes turns leading the relationship.

This makes women feel free rather than feeling like they need to tiptoe, tone down, or dim their own light as there is no conflict of values.

Whether in her career or relationship, she feels supported in her growth.

This is because the emotionally intelligent man is confident and secure in his own gifts and expertise to feel threatened by a woman’s leadership and greatness. 

All women want someone on their team, not a partner to be in competition with.

9) They can finally relax more 

The emotionally intelligent man who is aware of their inner state is far easier and relaxing to be with than someone who broods but has little capacity to process their emotions. 

Compared to all the exhausting emotional and mental gymnastics of trying to guess how a man feels or how they will feel if she does x, y, z, being with a man who is aware of their feelings and can manage it well is a blissful vacation.

Walking on eggshells around their significant other isn’t how women want to go through their love life. 

Women will always prefer the feeling of ease and relaxation they can only get with an emotionally intelligent man.

10) They heal and thrive

Women who have worked so hard and failed at previous relationships never take for granted the gift of an emotionally intelligent man.

The reason women prefer them is because they give them the space to heal. That’s because finally, they feel seen, heard, and understood for their most authentic self.

They feel safe to be vulnerable and be strong and because of that, they heal and thrive in the relationship and their own personal lives.

As plants thrive in the right environment and care, women realize that after all their innerwork, an emotionally intelligent man as a partner is the fertile and solid ground that helps them grow deeper roots as they reach for their life dreams.

Last words

If you’re a woman and you’ve never considered emotional intelligence as a main criteria to look out for in a man, I hope this article has convinced you to consider it—and put it at the top of your checklist!

And if you’re a man wondering how to be a better partner in relationships, consider emotional intelligence is one of the key areas that is always worth focusing energy and time on.

While emotional intelligence is a rare and sought-after trait, you must know that just like most things in life, it is learnable.

Anyone can take steps to grow in emotional intelligence as long as they are willing to put in the time, energy, and effort. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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