Adrian Volenik
Highly emotionally intelligent people have many advantages over the rest of the population. They are thoughtful, curious, and insightful.
But they’re also often introverted.
In this article, we’re exploring the surprising reasons people with high emotional intelligence are often introverted and prefer solitude.
1) Heightened sensitivity
People with high emotional intelligence are often more sensitive to emotions and stimulants around them. This can, of course, overwhelm them in social situations, leading them to prefer seclusion.
For example, feeling anxious or emotionally drained in crowded restaurants, bustling offices, or noisy social gatherings.
If you have a high EI, you probably know what I’m talking about.
But highly emotionally intelligent people also take criticism to heart and internalize it deeply.
Even constructive feedback can profoundly affect them, leading to feelings of vulnerability or self-doubt.
This makes them less prone to speak up or stick out in social interactions and in public in general.
2) They focus on quality over quantity
They also find social small talk draining. Instead, they look for meaningful and substantial conversations more commonly found in smaller social circles.
They prefer engaging in deeper, meaningful conversations that explore emotions, thoughts, and ideas.
Introverts and high EI people also typically have fewer close friends but forge stronger emotional connections with them.
They devote their time and energy to activities that truly matter to them. Focusing on meaningful things, such as personal growth, hobbies, and quality time with loved ones, while minimizing time spent on trivial or unfulfilling activities.
3) Deep reflection
Introverted individuals love engaging in deep introspection and self-reflection, which helps them develop a high level of emotional intelligence through self-awareness.
In other words, they prefer spending time alone because it gives them the space to think and understand their emotions more clearly.
Although I don’t spend nearly as much time alone as I’d prefer, I now cherish solitude more than ever. If you have kids, you know what I’m talking about.
Before, cats followed me around the apartment, even to the toilet. Now, it’s my son who’s there for everything. Even my visits to the bathroom.
4) Empathetic exhaustion
Another thing I can relate to with high EI folks is being emotionally drained after prolonged social interactions.
People with high emotional intelligence are often very good at understanding and feeling the emotions of others.
They can easily put themselves in someone else’s shoes and experience what that person is feeling.
Nevertheless, this constant empathy can be tiring and draining. It’s like taking on other people’s emotions as if they were your own.
This exhaustion makes them prefer spending time alone to recharge and recover from the emotional energy they’ve absorbed from others.
5) Comfort in solitude
Although I mentioned this already, it’s just too important to address it in more detail.
You see, introverted individuals often find solace, peace, and creativity in moments of solitude, contributing to their emotional well-being and ability to understand emotions.
They enjoy their own company and feel at ease in moments of solitude. Rather than seeking constant social interactions, introverts appreciate the quiet and peace of being alone.
This includes a deep appreciation for silence, allowing them to tune in to their own emotions and the subtle emotional cues in their surroundings.
Going out in nature is one of the best ways to recharge your body and mind. Exercising works wonders, too.
6) Non-conformity
People with high emotional intelligence are also less influenced by societal norms and expectations, allowing them to carve their own paths and prioritize personal growth over social interactions.
They value their individuality and authenticity. As a result, they lean towards introversion as a way to honor their true selves and prioritize personal growth over social interactions.
This non-conformity allows them to stay true to their values, nurture their emotional well-being, and focus on developing their emotional intelligence on their own terms.
7) Intense observation
Introverts often excel at observing and understanding the emotions of others. Still, they prefer to do so from a distance rather than actively engaging in social interactions.
They pay close attention to the details, body language, and subtle cues indicating how someone feels.
For example, they notice when someone becomes more withdrawn, or the atmosphere becomes tense, allowing them to adapt their behavior.
They may also notice power dynamics, conflicts, or unspoken tensions.
This understanding of group dynamics allows them to navigate social situations more effectively and be sensitive to the emotional needs of individuals within the group.
Think about that for a moment. Fascinating, isn’t it?
8) Thoughtful response
Introverts tend to take their time before responding to others, allowing them to process their own emotions and consider the feelings of others before framing a response.
Imagine a team meeting where co-workers are discussing a complex problem. Sarah, who has high emotional intelligence, takes her time before responding.
She carefully listens to what others are saying, considers different perspectives, and takes a moment to reflect on her own thoughts and emotions.
Instead of hastily jumping in with a quick response, Sarah offers a thoughtful response that addresses the key points raised in the discussion.
She provides well-reasoned insights, asks clarifying questions, and acknowledges the emotions and concerns of others in the room.
Her response demonstrates empathy, critical thinking, and a deep understanding of the issue.
By prioritizing a thoughtful response over a quick one, Sarah contributes to the quality of the conversation.
Her response encourages others to engage in deeper dialogue, consider alternative viewpoints, and work towards a more comprehensive solution.
Her thoughtful approach fosters a collaborative and emotionally intelligent atmosphere within the team.
9) Non-verbal communication
Understanding and interpreting non-verbal communication is an essential aspect of emotional intelligence.
People with high emotional intelligence are often prone to understanding non-verbal cues, allowing them to understand and empathize with others on a deeper level without needing to engage in extensive verbal communication.
For example, non-verbal cues like eye contact, squinting, or the narrowing of the eyes can convey interest, attentiveness, or suspicion.
10) Internal focus
I already mentioned how introverts have a rich inner world and prefer to focus their attention internally. This promotes emotional introspection and further development of emotional intelligence.
Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of a student named Alex. Alex is preparing for a challenging exam.
However, he has high emotional intelligence and tends to have an internal focus. Rather than seeking external validation or comparing himself to others, Alex focuses on his own progress and growth.
During the exam preparation period, Alex spends significant time reflecting on his strengths and weaknesses, identifying areas of improvement, and setting personal goals.
He wants to understand his learning style and emotional responses to the material.
Instead of constantly pursuing validation from others, Alex engages in deep introspection and uses self-awareness to develop effective study strategies tailored to his individual needs.
He pays attention to his own emotions, managing stress and anxiety through self-care practices like meditation, exercise, and maintaining a healthy balance between study and relaxation.
Alex’s internal focus also allows him to maintain a sense of purpose and motivation throughout the exam preparation period.
He’s driven by his personal growth and improvement rather than external pressures or comparisons to others.
Final thoughts
As you can see, there are many surprising reasons people with high emotional intelligence are often introverted.
Now that you know what they are, you’re better equipped to interact with them and support them if needed.
