If you’re in your 30s and single, you’ll know the pressure to “find someone nice and settle down”.
This is a conversation I’ve had recently with my good friend, Lori. At 34, she never imagined she’d be single – she thought she’d be hitched and having babies by now.
But alas, life doesn’t always work out as planned. What shone through the most from our conversation was Lori’s love for life – despite everyone telling her she’s “incomplete” without a man.
So naturally, I’m excited to share the following reasons why you should celebrate being single in your 30s – with a little help from someone who’s embraced it and is living life to the full!
1) Your time is your own
Lori and I got onto the subject of celebrating being single over a glass of wine and a moan. I was the one moaning.
I love my partner, but if I’m not working, I’m doing things for him, spending time with him, entertaining his family (or our mutual friends)…and put simply, there isn’t much time for myself!
Lori could empathize, but as she put it, “That’s why I love being single.”
You see, in your 30s, you’re more independent, you’ve likely got your own space and a job that gives you some disposable income.
Without a partner to factor in, your time is your own. You want to veg out on the sofa and watch Netflix all weekend? You can!
You want to go rollerblading after work? No one is waiting for you to get home to prepare dinner.
If that’s not a reason for celebration, I don’t know what is!
2) You can focus on your friendships
And with all that free time, you can invest in your friendships.
Think about it for a minute – how many of your friends have disappeared since getting into a relationship?
It’s not something we do intentionally, but it’s hard to divide time between family, partners, work, and friends.
So if you’re single in your 30s, enjoy the fact that you can meet your friends whenever you like. You even have time to make new friends.
And I’m not saying a relationship would necessarily stop you from doing that, but it’s certainly much harder to keep up with a social life when it’s already tough finding time to spend quality time with your partner!
3) You can become a pet parent
Lori and I share the same dream – we both want to build animal sanctuaries of some sort.
My partner isn’t keen on the idea, so I’ve parked my dream for the time being.
Lori on the other hand?
Well, she started with one cat, and now she’s got four. Not to mention the two rescue dogs she’s recently taken on. Her dream is coming true.
But even if you just want one furbaby, that’s fine! You can do it without a partner complaining about their allergies, or huffing every time they clean the cat litter.
And let’s be honest, being a pet parent is extremely rewarding – you get a ton of love and company, without the arguments and sarcastic comments!
4) You never know what’s around the corner
One of the most beautiful things in life is not knowing what could be coming your way; whether that’s an exciting date, a new job, or discovering a new hobby.
And when you’re single in your 30s, the world is your oyster!
You could have the best sex of your life tomorrow, and not even know it right now.
You could decide to move to another city on a whim and start a whole new life, who knows?
The point is, when you’re not tied down in a relationship, the possibilities are endless.
And that’s terrifying and exciting – so celebrate the spontaneity and do something wild!
5) You can prioritize self-care and personal development
Another reason to enjoy being single in your 30s is the time you can spend on self-care.
You can focus on what your body and mind need, without distraction. And that’s not all…
You’ve got the opportunity to work on yourself and heal any old traumas that are lingering from your childhood, teen years, and 20s.
That’s something Lori is prioritizing – she wants to be in a good headspace when she enters her next relationship. She’s currently in therapy, working through her issues one step at a time.
And I think that’s important. So many of us jump from relationship to relationship, never really taking the time to heal.
So if you’re able to, put yourself first and embrace it. Your future self, single or partnered up, will very much appreciate it!
6) You have financial independence
When you’re in a relationship, finances get slightly trickier. People have their own spending habits and viewpoints on money.
You have to compromise a lot. And it’s not uncommon for couples to clash.
But when you’re single, your money is completely your own.
There’s no one tutting when you pick up that expensive lamp.
No one will question how much you spent on that crazy night out.
If you want to scrimp and save for six months, you can do so without a partner tempting you to get take outs every weekend.
Put simply – every financial decision is up to you!
7) You can explore and cultivate who you are
Now, being in a relationship shouldn’t stop you from discovering yourself. But it can slow that process down or even influence you to some degree.
Simply for the fact that when you spend long enough with someone, you naturally start adopting some of their habits, likes, and dislikes.
But if you’re 30-something and single, you have the chance to truly explore who you are, without anyone else interfering or influencing you.
So celebrate this by celebrating you!
Spend time with yourself, get to know what you want out of life, and what makes you excited to wake up in the morning.
Pour all the love you would have given to a partner into yourself and watch how you flourish into your best self.
8) You have total freedom
Part of the reason why I was moaning to Lori was because I have a huge travel bug at the moment. I want to be spontaneous and just book flights and go at the drop of a hat – but my partner needs to have everything organized and booked in advance.
It’s not his fault, but it does feel like my freedom has been curtailed slightly.
Lori, on the other hand, never has to check in with anyone else before making plans. If she fancies jumping in her car and driving to the city for the weekend, she can!
If she wants to randomly redecorate her living room, she doesn’t need to consult anyone else’s opinions – hers is the only one that matters.
So, while you’re off enjoying your freedom, whichever way you may spend it, spare a thought for us poor buggers who are still negotiating holidays with our partners!
9) You have time to decide what you want and don’t want out of life
And whilst you’re making the most of your freedom, don’t forget you’ve also got an opportunity to get clear on what you want out of life, especially when it comes to relationships.
Take this time to think about:
- What type of partner you want
- What type of relationship would best serve you
- What red flags you should look out for
Put it this way – you’re at a unique advantage point right now. You’re mature enough and have life experience. You can reflect and decide on what you’d like to see in your future.
Not to mention, your “taken” friends will have plenty of material to share with you, so learn from their mistakes so that when you do eventually meet the right person, you’ll be prepared!
10) You can pursue your hobbies and passions
And finally, celebrate being single in your 30s because you can throw yourself into your passions!
Sure, a healthy relationship shouldn’t stop you from this either, but it can make it harder to find the time to do the things you love.
As Lori so aptly put it:
“I’ve never had so much time for myself. Now at 34 and being financially independent, I can spend five hours on a Saturday painting if that’s what my heart desires. Then I can splurge out on pizzas with pineapple on top and no one complains. No interruptions, no compromising on what I want to do.”
So, if you’re in your 30s and you’re tired of hearing about how you should find someone to settle down with immediately, I hope this article reminded you that being single at this age is worth celebrating.
Ultimately, life is what we make of it. Relationship or not. So the best thing you can do is keep a positive attitude, embrace the uncertainty, and live life to the fullest!