Is a man engaging in deep eye contact with you?
Wondering what it means?
While locking eyes with a stranger from across the room seems like the stuff movies are made of, there is actually a lot of complex things happening in your brain to make this moment magical and memorable.
You probably already know that prolonged eye contact with a guy is both exciting and maybe a little bit intimidating.
There’s a lot going on between two people when they lock eyes, but how can you trust what you think you’re seeing and what if what you think is going on is not actually going on? .
Here are some of the things eye contact might mean for you.
1. Yes, he is probably flirting
Okay, let’s cut right to the chase: yes, he is probably flirting with you if he is trying to lock eyes with you.
The hope is that he wants to make a deeper connection with you and lets you know by looking longingly into your eyes.
Of course, the other option is that you’ve got something in your teeth and he’s trying to get your attention, but more often than not, it’s because he likes what he sees. So calm down.
Keep in mind that many guys will glance your way to see if they catch you looking to figure out if you’re attracted to them.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that he is ready to take it further with you.
He might be trying to boost his own ego.
After all, if he knows that girls are looking at him it will probably make him feel better about himself.
Women do the same thing, too.
And this is particularly the case with eye contact because it’s a non-threatening way of flirting or engaging with other people.
2. He is attracted to you
An interesting thing still happens in the dating scene: love at first sight.
Sometimes, you walk into a room and you lock eyes with a guy 50 feet away from you and you can’t move.
You start to sweat, you feel an immediate connection with him.
Well, what if when you walk in, he is already staring at you?
It’s probably the same story for him: and he can’t look away.
However, when it comes to men and eye contact, there are some important caveats to consider based on the guy’s personality.
For example, if he is the shy type, then he will look at you but immediately look away when you catch him looking.
And this might happen a few times as well.
After all, if he likes you then he can’t keep his eyes off you.
So to look out for whether the guy is shy but attracted to you, see if he looks at you multiple times but then immediately looks away when you catch him.
On other hand, if the guy is confident and direct with how he is feeling, he will sustain eye contact with you when he catches you looking.
If he likes you, he will most likely use eye contact along with a smile, or maybe even a wink, as a way of letting you know that he is attracted to you.
If you’re attracted to him as well, you can return eye contact and smile back.
If he starts to blush or smiles back, then you know he is definitely attracted to you.
3. He wants to be your hero
If a guy can’t take his eyes off you, then you know there is a reason.
And as we’ve discussed, the most likely reason is that he is attracted to you.
And if he is attracted to you, then he probably wants to be your hero.
Well, there’s a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. And it explains why men act around women in certain ways, including staring deeply into their eyes.
It’s called the hero instinct.
According to the hero instinct, a man will only fall in love with a woman when he feels like he is her provider and protector. Someone that she genuinely needs in her life.
In other words, men want to be your hero. I know it sounds a bit silly. In modern times, women don’t need someone to be their “hero” to save the day.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to feel like they are a hero. After all, it’s built into their DNA to seek out a relationship with a woman that makes them feel like a hero.
And the kicker?
A man won’t fall in love with a woman when this thirst isn’t satisfied. So if your man is giving you prolonged deep eye contact then it’s likely that he is falling for you.
What’s the best way to trigger a man’s hero instinct?
Simply by finding ways to make him feel like your hero.
There’s an art to doing this which can be a lot of fun when you know exactly what to do.
But it requires a little more work than just asking him to hold your hand across the road or carry your heavy bags.
If you want to learn exactly what to do, watch this free online video.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first coined this term, gives a terrific introduction to his game-changing concept.
4. He is trying to tell you something
No, not that you have food in your teeth, but he probably wants to let you know he’s interested in getting and holding your attention.
Of course, that’s not what he’s thinking at the time; he’s thinking, “My God, look at her!” but it comes out in a star that won’t quit.
He wants you to know that he’s digging your vibe and you’ll probably be deep in conversation with him – so he can tell you things for real – soon.
And he may not just be interested in you because of physical attraction, either.
If he is staring deeply into your eyes when you’re talking with him, he might be genuinely interested in what you have to say.
He might admire your intelligence and wit.
Guys aren’t always a one-trick pony. They are also interested in other things besides sex, you know!
While prolonged eye contact from across the room generally means that he is attracted to you, he might also just be trying to communicate something to you.
Catching someone’s eye is a great way to get their attention, and he might just simply be trying to tell you something
It could be to alert you about something or to communicate something non-verbally.
Or maybe he is confused about his feelings and he is trying to work it out.
Obviously, it’s going to depend on the type of situation you’re in. If he nods to you or raises his eyebrows, then he is definitely trying to tell you something.
5. He might be trying to manipulate you
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who will try to take advantage of you and manipulate you, even when it seems like they have your best interest at heart.
These people use tactics like prolonged eye-contact to intimidate you or make you feel small.
If you’re already in a relationship with this person and they do this to you, it could mean that they are trying to take control.
Eye contact isn’t always positive.
They may use eye contact as a way to manipulate you.
For example, a guy may use eye contact to make it seem like he is expressing his love for you or is trying to seduce you when in reality he is just getting trying to cast you under his spell so he can manipulate you.
Or maybe he just looking for the physical, and eye contact is one of his tools he uses to seduce you.
This is similar to “love bombing” – a technique a narcissist uses to control or manipulate someone else.
How does this work?
Well, a narcissist will hit someone with “love bombs” (affection, gifts etc), and then when they fall in love they have control over them to manipulate them and control them.
In a similar way, a guy could use eye contact as a love bomb so he can cast you under his spell to eventually manipulate you.
6. He’s actually not looking at you at all…
Sticking with the unfortunate side effects of prolonged eye contact, sometimes, he’s just off in his own little world and doesn’t have a clue that he’s actually staring a hole right through you.
What’s worse, is when he’s not staring at you at all…but the girl beside or behind you.
It stings when you realize that has happened, especially if you tried to introduce yourself and he’s got no idea what you’re talking about.
But don’t let it bother you; you’ve probably had some moments when you got caught staring at someone without meaning to stare too.
7. He is trying to show his dominance
You might think that society is more equal these days, but there are still a lot of men who think they need to show dominance in order to attract women.
Some “pick up artists” teaches that it is important for a man to show dominant, alpha-type body language in order to be attractive to women.
And if he engages in eye contact with you first, and holds it, then he may be trying to display his dominance.
If you look away, then he may think that he has “won” the staring contact.
It sounds totally lame, but guys will do anything they can in order to feel like more of a man.
He may try to use deep eye contact with you to beat you into submission and assert his power.
Needless to say, if a guy is doing this to you then you need to run away. He’s toxic and has serious insecurity issues.
8. He might be trying to build trust with you
One of the reasons that we like eye contact ( in the right amount) is because it tells us that this person is intelligent, connected, confident and willing to do the dance of communication.
So often, communication is one-sided and unrequited, especially with so much happening online these days, but when you connect with someone in real life, and your eyes meet, a trust is developed that says, “you’re safe with me.”
This doesn’t necessarily mean that he is attracted to you. He just wants to build rapport and develop a connection with you.
After all, eye contact is essential for general social interaction with you.
Perhaps, he might be displaying eye contact that’s more prolonged than usual, but it could just mean that he has a strong motivation for you to like him.
He could be like this with other people as well.
That’s an important consideration. If you can witness how he looks at other people, you can see whether the type of eye contact he is giving you is unique.
If it is unique, then you can say that he might have special feelings for you.
But if it is just like everyone else, then perhaps he gives prolonged eye contact with others because he is a people-pleaser.
9. He is comfortable with you
While these conversations tend to take on romantic notions, it’s important to understand these interactions for the rest of your life as well.
Someone who doesn’t make eye contact with you might be intimidated by you or your success, especially in the workplace.
Perhaps a child won’t make eye contact because they equate adults with yelling or abuse.
The way we connect and interact with each other can be summed up in our eye contact and we know that the closer and more comfortable we feel about people, the more eye contact we will exhibit.
If he loves spending time with you and feels comfortable around you, then he will easily engage in prolonged eye contact with you.
It doesn’t mean he likes you sexually, but he could just see you as a great friend that he loves spending time with.
10. He is talking about you
When we’re talking with someone about someone else, it’s natural to glance over at the person that is the topic if conversation.
It’s human nature. We can’t help it.
This should be very easy to notice.
If he is shy and hesitant about approaching you, he may talk about you with his friends. His head might be down and then he’ll naturally look over to you as he is talking.
He’ll also want to make it seem like he isn’t talking about you, so when he looks over at you he will most likely look away straight away.
However, if he is confident then he will look at you and he will sustain his eye contact as he is talking about you.
11. He enjoys having eye contact with others
We all long for social connection these days (especially with everything going on currently) and it could be that he just looking for some sort of connection with others.
And really, there isn’t a better way to easily engage others than with eye contact.
This is especially the case if everyone around him is wearing masks because of covid – the only thing you can see is their eyes. It makes eye contact even more important.
And eye contact is really a wonderful thing.
The physiological responses that our bodies exhibit when we lock eyes with someone when we like what we see, our pupils dilate and the colored portion of our eye starts to become engaged.
Our eyes are dancing around looking for the source of the feeling, but it comes from inside.
And most importantly, it helps us feel connected to everyone around us. He probably knows this, which is why his eyes are darting around looking for connections.
12. He might be trying to read you
Your eyes give away a lot about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking.
You can look at someone and know they are sad. You can look at someone and know they are happy.
Your eyes are the window to your soul and provide a doorway through which to get to know you better.
When you don’t want people to know you, you keep your eyes to the ground. When you’re open and willing to be engaged, you keep your head up.
And perhaps he is just trying to work out what you’re feeling and thinking.
13. He is confident in himself
Confident people can hold their gaze for as long as they choose. I
In fact, when you think about it, a shy person will struggle to hold eye contact. They will bow their heads and look away whenever someone engages their eyes.
It takes a very self-assured person to look another person directly for a sustained period of time, especially if they are strangers.
In fact, it may also show that he has no secrets and he has a no-nonsense attitude to dating.
After all, someone who can’t look you in the eye is said to be shifty and untrustworthy.
So if he is giving you direct eye contact, then he most likely doesn’t suffer from self-esteem issues.
Being able to read someone’s body language is an important skill to have, but you must remember that people don’t always convey they message they mean to send properly.
If he is just interested in being your friend but is an intense, close-talker with likes to make eye contract, things might get weird.
Instead of trying to guess what someone is thinking, always make it a habit to start up a conversation to find out for sure where someone’s head is at. It works every time.
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Most importantly, it will teach you practical techniques to activate those triggers in your man so you can build a successful long-lasting relationship.
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