201 questions for couples that will bring you closer together

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happy couple
Image credit: Shutterstock - By Peter Berni

Looking for questions to ask your partner so you can truly get to know them?

No matter where you’re at in the relationship, understanding your partner, getting to know them, and building an authentic connection is crucial to building a strong, intimate relationship.

Even if you’re relationship was previously strong, but now is going through a rough patch, a deep conversation can rekindle the flame once more.

So in this article, I want to give you all the questions for couples that will strengthen the relationship, ignite the flame, and put the connection back on the agenda.

First, we’ll go through some getting to know you questions, then relationship questions, and then we’ll finish some funny questions to lighten the mood.

Let’s go…

Getting to know you questions

Whether you’re at the beginning of a relationship, or you’ve been together for a long time, It’s important to never stop learning about your partner. Never lose that wonder that made you want to get to know them initially because we are constantly growing as individuals.

1. What’s the best vacation you’ve ever had?

2. What’s the most annoying trait in other people?

3. What about yourself are you most proud of?

4. Do you believe in yourself? Why? Why not?

5. If there is one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be?

6. What are you doing when you think you’re at your best?

7. What life experiences did you miss out on?

8. When are you you’re true self?

9. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

10. If you could, would you like to live forever?

11. Are you happy with the people you surround yourself with?

12. What is your favorite memory of your childhood?

13. What is one part of your daily routine that you hate doing?

14. If you could describe yourself with one-word, what would it be?

15. Are you superstitious?

16. What is the most awkward date you’ve ever had?

17. What are your top 3 rules for life?

18. What is your favorite thing about our/your house?

19. If a friend spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you keep them as a friend?

20. What is your favorite movie?

21. What is your favorite book?

22. If you describe your purpose in life in one word, what would it be?

23. What habit of other people really gets on your nerves?

24. What is a secret you’ve never told anyone?

25. What small pleasures do you enjoy the most?

26. What is something you believe that most people don’t?

27. What year of your life was the hardest?

28. What is your number one regret?

29. What are the 3 best traits that someone can have?

30. How do you calm yourself down?

31. If you could have any job you wanted in the world, what would it be?

32. Would you rather be famous and rich? Or rich and not famous?

33. Would you rather be happy and poor? Or unhappy and rich?

Questions on the future

It’s great to be in a strong relationship, but you both need to know where it’s heading. Talking about the future will get you aligned with what you want and how you’re going to get there.

1. What is on your bucket list that you haven’t been able to do yet?

2. Do you want kids? How many?

3. If you do want to have kids, what is the number one value you would like to instill in them?

4. Where would you most like to travel to in the future?

5. Would you like to live somewhere else in the future? Or are you perfectly content where we are now right now?

6. What do you see for our future in our relationship?

7. What is your number one goal for this relationship?

8. What is your greatest worry or fear for the future of our relationship?

9. What is something you’ve always wanted us to do together but we haven’t yet?

10. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

11. Where would you like to live when you retire?

12. Are there any habits that you would like me to change?

13. When it’s all said and done, how would you like to be remembered?

14. What do you want to learn in the coming year?

15. What are your goals for the next 5 years?

Questions about their family and childhood

When you’re in a strong relationship, it’s important to know each other’s family and how they were raised. Knowing what has surrounded your partner growing up can help you know them now.

1. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received from your parents?

2. What did your parents use to do that used to embarrass you?

3. What is the best trait you’ve inherited from your parents?

4. What is the worst trait?

5. When did you realize that your parents were humans who made mistakes just like everybody else?

6. What habits did you still have from your childhood?

7. What were your favorite family vacations as a child?

8. Did you think your family was “normal” growing up?

9. How are you different from your parents?

10. Are there any ways in which you want to be different from your parents?

11. What were your favorite school subjects at school;?

12. What unique games did you play as a child?

13. What irrational fears did you have as a child?

14. What are some of your earliest memories?

15. What did you like most about your parent’s relationship?

Relationship questions

Time to talk about the relationship itself. There’s no point judging when it comes to these relationship questions. It’s not about telling them what’s right and wrong. It’s about having an open discussion of what works in your relationships, and what doesn’t.

1. What trait in me are you most attracted to?

2. What new hobbies would you like to try to do together?

3. What is one thing you wish you could change about me?

4. What is our greatest strength as a couple?

5. What are some things we could do to make our relationship stronger?

6. What are some small habits we can implement to make our relationship stronger?

7. What did you initially know that you liked me?

8. What is your happiest memory of our relationship?

9. How important is for each individual in a relationship to have their own life?

10. What makes our relationship better than other relationships?

11. Where do you think we’ll be in 5 years?

12. What is the important trait in a successful relationship?

13. What do you think will bring us closer together as a couple?

14. What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?

15. If you describe me with one word, what would it be?

16. What are the top 3 traits you like about me?

17. What do you think is the hardest part about being in a relationship/marriage?

18. In what way do our personalities balance each other out?

19. What do you see as your role in the relationship?

20. What is something you could never forgive in a relationship?

21. What are your future relationship goals?

22. What makes us different from other couples?

23. What is your favorite couple on a TV show? Why?

24. What are the 3 most important traits for a healthy and happy relationship?

25. What is something I did that you thought was exceptionally kind and thoughtful?

Questions about sex

Time for the nitty-gritty in the bedroom! Sex is an important topic to be open and honest about. After all, it’s a crucial area of any relationship. Perhaps there are areas you can improve upon, and it’s always fun talking about you enjoy in the bedroom.

1. Do you think our sex drives are compatible?

2. Do you think sex is important in a relationship?

3. What is one of your sexual fantasies that you haven’t told me?

4. What is your favorite thing that I do in bed?

5. What is the craziest thing that you’ve ever done sexually?

6. What for you is the best part of the bedroom action?

7. When do you think I am at my most attractive?

8. Is there anything I do outside the bedroom that turns you on?

9. What is the most embarrassing or awkward thing that has happened to you during bedroom action?

10. What do you think is your most attractive trait?

Questions about having kids

What do you both want when it comes to creating a family? Time to find out! It’s important to be open and honest about what you want both want in the future. After all, the longer the relationship goes on without being open and honest, the more chance that someone might be hurt when you figure out that both want different things.

1. Do you want to have children? How many?

2. What are the top 3 things you would like to teach your children?

3. Do you think you’d be a good parent?

4. Between us, who would be the good cop and bad cop when dealing with our children?

5. Do you believe in spoiling children?

6. Do you think having kids will benefit our relationship?

7. What will be the biggest challenge about raising kids?

8. What is the worst mistake that parents can make?

Romantic questions to ask your partner

Want to lift the mood and spark some romance? These are the questions for you. Time to spark a light on the strong connection that exists between the two of you.

1. Do you believe there’s one person you’re ‘meant’ to be with?

2. What’s one difference between us that you absolutely love?

3. What’s one similarity between us that you absolutely love?

4. Is love something that scares you?

5. What’s one thing you want to do together that we’ve never done before?

6. Where is your favorite place to be with me?

7. What song makes you think about me?

8. Was it love at first sight with us?

9. What’s a new nickname/pet name that you would like to call me?

10. Which trait of mine drew you towards me?

11. How did you feel when we had our first kiss?

12. Do you prefer a good hug or a good kiss?

13. If our relationship ended, what’s the one thing about it you’d miss the most?

14. What’s one thing you feel our relationship is lacking?

15. Do you think I’ve been vulnerable in our relationship?

50 questions to ask that will reveal their true personality

No matter who you are and how much you know about your partner, there’s always more to find out! The more you know about each other, the more the relationship can grow.

1) Which fictional character would you marry if you had the chance?

2) Where would you live if money and work were not factors?

3) What was the worst book you’ve ever read?

4) What was the best book you’ve ever read?

5) Who is your favorite Avenger?

6) Batman or Superman: Who is your favorite DC character?

7) What are the three words you would use to describe yourself?

8) Do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain when making important life decisions?

9) Would you say you are a spiritual person?

10) Who is one person you wish you could be?

11) Who is someone you looked up to when you were a kid?

12) Do you ask permission or ask for forgiveness?

13) What is the best advice you would give someone?

14) What is the best advice you ever got from someone in your life?

15) What is your biggest pet peeve and when was the last time someone did it around you?

16) Who is your dream partner, dead or alive?

17) What fictional character do you think you are most like?

18) Who would play you in a movie about your life?

19) How much money do you wish you could make at your job?

20) What would you do for a living if you could do anything?

21) What is the best advice your mom ever gave you?

22) What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?

23) What movie do you wish you could have starred in?

24) What fictional lawyer would you want representing you if you ever got in trouble with the law?

25) Do you keep up with current events?

26) What do you think is the most significant event in our human history?

27) Do you think BigFoot is real?

28) Would you ever climb Mount Everest?

29) What is one thing on your bucket list?

30) Who is on your fantasy football team?

31) Would you rather be smart or handsome?

32) Do you like hot dogs or hamburgers?

33) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

34) If you could work for any company, what company would it be?

35) What movie have you watched that left you wishing you did that for a living?

36) Would you swim with sharks?

37) If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?

38) Would you ever quit your job to live in the woods?

39) What is the worst job you ever had?

40) What is one thing you regret not doing in your life?

41) What is your favorite television show, now or in the past?

42) Have you ever had an idea for a movie of your own?

43) Have you ever tried to write a book?

44) What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?

45) What do you wish people didn’t know about you?

46)What is your favorite music or song to listen to?

47) If you had to listen to one song on repeat forever, what song would it be?

48) Do you believe in love at first sight?

49) Do you believe in reincarnation?

50) Have you ever experienced Deja Vu?

30 funny questions to ask

Humor can help you go a long way in your relationship. We all like having a laugh because it lightens the mood and makes us feel happy.

Here some funny questions to lighten the mood:

1) If you were a girl for a day, what would you do?

2) What’s the weirdest celebrity crush you’ve ever had?

3) Do you think nerds are sexy?

4) If you were a vegetable, what would you be and why?

5) If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

6) What would you do if we were in zero gravity?

7) What would your dream mansion look like?

8) What’s the weirdest conversation you’ve ever overheard?

9) What is something you believe that most people don’t?

10) What’s something you can’t believe people actually enjoy?

11) What’s the funniest screw up you’ve ever seen on social media?

12) Who do you think is the hottest celebrity?

13) What would you do if a guy asked for your number?

14) Do you think older women are sexy?

15) What kind of ice cream describes you best?

16) If your life was a movie, what would it be called?

17) Would you still like a girl if she was a foot taller than you?

18) What alcoholic drink best describes your personality?

19) If you could make out with any fictional cartoon character, who would it be?

20) If someone had something on their face, would you tell them?

21) If you owned a boat, what would you call it?

22) Which celebrity would be most boring to meet?

23) What’s the worst purchase you’ve ever made?

24) Best purchase?

25) If you could choose your name, what would it be?

26) What’s a compliment you’ve received that was actually an insult?

27) If you had to lose one body part, what would it be?

28) Do you believe in magic? Why?

29) What’s a famous quote that everyone takes as truth but is actually bs?

30) What’s the funniest viral video you’ve ever seen?


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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