6 qualities all women want in a partner, according to psychologists

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Dating can be a minefield, right? And it’s even more difficult if you’re attracted to women. I’m the first to admit that we’re complex creatures that are almost impossible to figure out. 

It’s like every woman is completely unique. What makes one woman happy might totally turn off another. And because we’re all so different, it’s tough to figure out what traits women find attractive. 

But what if I told you that, experts agree that there are certain qualities that all women want in a partner? 

That means no matter how unique or different the girl you like is, chances are, if you showcase some of these magical qualities, she’ll be a little more open to getting to know you. 

You’re probably wondering what all women want in a partner, right? Get ready, we’re about to break it down for you!

1) Good communication skills

Are you a good communicator? If not, it might be time to work on it because communication is one of the key qualities that women want in a partner. 

It’s hardly surprising though, right? What chance does a relationship have if the two of you can’t talk things through and figure out a way forward through thick and thin? 

Here’s the kicker: research finds that poor communication is the cause of most relationships breaking down.  

“As a psychologist and sexologist, we’ve been studying relationships for more than 50 years combined, and we’ve found that no matter how you slice it, most of them fail because of poor communication,” confirms Dr. Jessica Griffin and Dr. Pepper Schwartz. 

If you want to pique a woman’s interest, you’ve got to show her you’re willing and able to communicate. 

2) A sense of humor

Are you known as the ‘funny one’ amongst your friends and family? If so, lucky you. 

One of the qualities that women find most attractive is a good sense of humor. Girls love to be with guys who can make them laugh. According to a survey by Men’s Health, 77% of women rated a sense of humor as their number 1 must-have trait in a partner.  

Not everyone is born funny but don’t worry about that. Having a good sense of humor is about more than just cracking jokes. 

A recent study suggests sharing laughter is key to starting and keeping a romantic relationship strong because it makes people feel happy and helps them show affection. 

If you’re not a funny guy, there are other things you can do like take her to a comedy gig, watch a funny movie together, or share some funny stories. Once she’s laughing, you know it’s all good.

3) Kindness

You’ve heard the expression “Nice guys finish last” right? Well, not according to the experts. 

Turns out: kindness is one of the qualities that women want in a partner, especially when it comes to long-term relationships. Women prefer men who are kind, generous, and willing to do good deeds according to research in The Journal of Social Psychology

And the best part of all is that showing more kindness not only makes you more desirable to women, it’s also good for you. “Psychologists have found that performing acts of generosity boosts happiness and well-being and is even linked to physical health benefits.”

When it comes to kindness, everyone wins so why not embrace it? As well as making yourself and others feel good, maybe it’ll also help you to catch the attention of someone special. 

4) Honesty 

Are you the kind of person who’s willing to be totally honest with your partner? 

A BBC study of over 200,000 people confirms that women consider honesty to be one of the most important qualities in a romantic partner along with humor, kindness, and dependability.

Honesty in a relationship is about more than just telling the truth, it’s about showing your partner who you really are, flaws and all. You’ve got to be willing to be vulnerable and trust that your partner won’t make you feel judged or embarrassed in those tender moments.  

But that’s not all: as noted by mental health and wellness writer Sanjana Gupta “Apart from allowing your partner to truly know you, honesty is also important because it helps you communicate with your partner about what is and isn’t working in your relationship”.

Being completely honest with another person is scary and uncomfortable at first but it’s also the bedrock of any relationship and it’s a quality that most women want in their partner.

5) Affection

Does holding hands, cuddling, and providing endless back rubs sound good to you? Hopefully you answered yes because women want partners who show a lot of affection

It’s a big way we feel close and bonded with our significant others. A recent study on the different desires for affection in a romantic relationship found that “Women reported greater desire for touch than men”. 

This one really hits home for me. I never thought I’d be one for lots of hugs and cuddles, but once I got into a serious thing, it became super important to me. Now, I just couldn’t be with someone who isn’t into showing love that way.

The thing is: affection isn’t just important to women, it’s a good sign for the relationship overall.  2023 research suggests that the more romantic partners touch each other, the more love there is between them.

Don’t be afraid to show your soft cuddly side a little more because it’s definitely something that women want in a partner.  

6) Intelligence

Women often dig a guy who’s got some brains. Maybe it’s about wanting those good genes for the kids, or maybe it’s just that there’s something super attractive about a smart man. Either way, being clever is definitely a plus.

For women, having a partner who’s smarter than us means we can have great conversations, learn things together, and make smart life decisions. It’s about having a mental connection as well as a physical one. It’s all upside.

That’s probably why a new study suggests that women are less attracted to men who are dumber than themselves. The author of the study, Curtis S. Dunkel of Western Illinois University tells Psypost;

“The results of the study suggest that intelligence may be slightly more important to women when choosing a long-term mate. More specifically, a woman may look for a man who is slightly more intelligent than she is and she uses her physical attractiveness to secure a more intelligent husband.”

Next time you’re hitting it off with someone, don’t hold back on showing how smart you are. It could be just the thing that wins them over.

The bottom line

All of the qualities we’ve shared today are ones that women want in a partner according to psychologists. Some of them you’re either born with or you’re not but others are things you can develop. 

If you possess some of those qualities, don’t be shy about letting them shine through when you’re around your love interest. And if you don’t feel like you’ve got them, maybe it’s time to get to work and start developing them. 

Cat Harper

Cat is an experienced Sales and Enablement professional turned writer whose passions span from psychology and relationships to continuous self-improvement, lifelong learning and pushing back on societal expectations to forge a life she loves. An avid traveler and adventure sports enthusiast, in her downtime you'll find Cat snowboarding, motorcycling or working on her latest self-development project.

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