Tara Whitmore
Kindness isn’t always about grand gestures. Sometimes, the truest kindness shows itself in the smallest, most unexpected ways.
As a psychologist, I’ve seen this firsthand. And often, these subtle signs of genuine kindness go unnoticed.
In this article, psychologists share those non-obvious signs that reveal a genuinely kind person. Trust me, it’s not about being a doormat or constantly showering others with compliments.
Stay tuned as we delve into the lesser-known indicators of true kindness. You might just find that being kind is more nuanced than you ever imagined.
1) They listen… deeply
In a world full of distractions, truly listening to someone is a rare act of kindness.
Psychologists know this well. Often, the most empathetic and caring individuals are the ones who give their full attention to others when they speak. They’re not just waiting for their turn to talk. Instead, they’re fully engaged in the conversation.
These are people who aren’t checking their phones mid-conversation or looking over your shoulder for someone more interesting. They genuinely care about what you have to say.
Deep listening is a sign of respect. It communicates that you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings. And it’s something that genuinely kind individuals do naturally.
2) They practice patience
Patience is a virtue, they say. And I’ve come to realize that it’s a virtue that genuinely kind people seem to possess in abundance.
I remember a colleague of mine, whom I’ve always admired for her kindness. One day, we were working on a particularly challenging project together. I was struggling to grasp some complex concepts and was slowing down the progress.
Instead of showing frustration or pushing me to speed up, she patiently explained everything until I understood. She never made me feel incompetent or stressed.
Looking back, her patience wasn’t just about being professional. It was a sign of her genuine kindness. It showed me that she cared more about helping me grow and understand than about getting the task done quickly.
When you see someone being patient, especially in stressful situations, know that it’s a non-obvious sign of a genuinely kind person.
3) They help without expecting anything in return
One of the hallmarks of genuine kindness is selflessness. Kind individuals often go out of their way to assist others, even when there’s no direct benefit to them.
Consider the phenomenon of “paying it forward” – performing a good deed for someone without expecting anything in return, in the hope that they will do the same for someone else. This concept has been studied extensively in social psychology, with astounding results.
Research shows that one act of kindness can create a ripple effect, inspiring the recipient to do something kind for someone else. This chain reaction can continue indefinitely, spreading positivity and goodwill far beyond the initial act.
So when you see someone assisting others selflessly, remember that this is not just an act of kindness but potentially a catalyst for a much larger wave of kindness.
4) They show empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s a critical component of genuine kindness.
Kind people don’t just sympathize with others – they empathize. They put themselves in other people’s shoes and respond with compassion and understanding.
Whether it’s being supportive in times of struggle or sharing joy in moments of happiness, their ability to empathize allows them to connect with others on a deep, emotional level.
5) They spread positivity
Positivity is contagious, and kind people are often the carriers.
Their presence seems to light up a room, and their uplifting energy can turn a bad day into a good one. They choose to see the good in people and situations, and their optimism can be a beacon of light in challenging times.
More than just being positive themselves, kind people have this unique ability to bring out positivity in others. They inspire hope, joy, and resilience, making the world around them a happier place.
Their kindness goes beyond their immediate circle, touching the lives of many.
6) They are forgiving
Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to practice, especially when we’ve been deeply hurt.
I recall a time when a close friend of mine betrayed my trust. It was a deeply painful experience and it took me a while to come to terms with it.
Yet, I realized that holding onto anger and resentment was only hurting me more. So, I made the decision to forgive, not for them, but for myself. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my own peace of mind.
Genuinely kind people understand this. They choose forgiveness over resentment, even when it’s hard. They value peace and harmony over conflict and drama.
7) They respect boundaries
Respect is a fundamental aspect of kindness, and it often manifests in the way people handle boundaries.
Genuinely kind people understand and respect the personal space, time, and emotional boundaries of others. They don’t impose their views or demands, but instead, listen and respect the needs and feelings of others.
They are considerate of other people’s comfort zones and are careful not to overstep or infringe upon them. This sensitivity towards others’ boundaries showcases their empathy and respect for individuality.
8) They are consistently kind
The truest measure of a person’s kindness is consistency.
Genuinely kind people don’t switch their kindness on and off based on their mood, the situation, or the people they’re dealing with. Their kindness is a part of who they are, not something they put on for show.
Whether they’re interacting with a close friend or a complete stranger, their warmth and compassion remain the same. Their kindness is not selective; it’s universal and unconditional.
So, if you ever come across someone whose kindness never wavers, regardless of the circumstances, hold on to them. Because genuine kindness is consistent, and such people are truly a rarity.
In essence, kindness is a choice
When it comes down to it, kindness is a choice that we make every day. It’s woven into the very fabric of our interactions, our decisions, and our reactions.
While genetics and environmental factors do play a role in shaping our personalities, the decision to be kind is ultimately a conscious one.
Every act of kindness, no matter how small, is a testament to this choice. Every time we choose patience over impatience, understanding over judgment, or forgiveness over resentment, we’re choosing kindness.
And these choices aren’t always easy. But they are what set genuinely kind people apart.
As Aesop once said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted”. This belief fuels the actions of genuinely kind individuals.
So as you navigate through life, remember that kindness is more than just an attribute. It’s a choice. A choice that can profoundly impact not only your life but the lives of those around you.
