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10 powerful characteristics of an alpha male in a relationship

An alpha male is a confident, competent man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

Alpha males aren’t always like the stereotype you see on TV or dating sites, but they do have personality characteristics that make them unique to date.

If you’re dating an alpha male – or about to – here is a guide about the best qualities they bring to the table.

10 powerful characteristics of an alpha male in a relationship

1) He’s protective and caring

Alpha males are the leaders of the pack, and they look after their mate, unlike any other man.

They will always make sure you are OK and in an emergency or crisis, they will take charge and resolve the problem.

If someone else messes with you the alpha will be right there defending your honor.

They will never fail to back you up.

This includes emotional problems and situations.

The true alpha will not be scared off by any emotional or personal problem you’re going through.

They will know when to give you space and when to offer a helping hand, because the real alpha isn’t just physically strong they are also emotionally resilient.

“They are extremely protective of people they care about. They would rather take the fall or get hurt than allow their loved ones to get hurt. They will be quick to defend anyone they feel needs defending,”

writes Katie Wang at Evolved Woman Society.

2) His confidence is rock solid

The alpha male isn’t always rich or muscular or handsome, but there’s one thing you can always depend on:

His confidence is rock solid and never wavers.

He stands by his beliefs and his mission and he backs up those close to him no matter what.

When he fails it’s just a learning opportunity and he never plays victim to get sympathy or make excuses.

The alpha male can be an excellent romantic partner because he will inspire and encourage you through your own life challenges and roadblocks as well.

As Robin Wood writes:

“He’s the macho guy, who exudes confidence with a tad bit of aggression, who is outgoing and demanding…

That in no way means he objectifies women, but he knows for a fact he can get any woman he wishes to. And mostly, he wishes for someone a lot more docile and with a few or no alpha features.”

3) He gets practical things done for you

The alpha partner knows how to do practical things and loves to help his woman.

From a foot rub to some interior renovations, count on this special guy to use his time well and make your life easier.

The alpha male is the last thing from being subservient, but looking after her woman and expressing his inner hero instinct means everything to him.

For this reason, your alpha man will love looking after you, fixing things and generally making sure you are treated like a princess.

“So sit back and enjoy how this man shows his love through this practical means. He may not be great at telling you exactly how he feels, but his actions can have some fantastic benefits,”

writes Sonya Schwartz.

Sounds like a good deal, right?

4) He never depends on you for his self-esteem or identity

Another of the most powerful characteristics of an alpha male in a relationship is that he doesn’t lean on you in a dependent way.

The alpha shows affection and loves intimacy, but he never crawls to someone else – even the woman he loves – for reinforcing his self-esteem or identity.

He has a burning inner core of self-worth that nothing can shake and he won’t ever ask you to take ownership of his well-being in a codependent way.

The alpha knows how to survive the wilderness on his own, which is part of what makes it all the more special that he’s chosen you as his mate.

As the website Alpha Male Mentality spells out:

“He already knows who he is and there is not much a woman can do to change that. Sure, when he thinks that she can guide him to a better path, he takes it, but initially, it’s still his decision.

When an alpha starts the relationship, it will never cross his mind that he needs someone else to define him as a person.”

5) He’s brave but not reckless

An alpha male is brave and he will go the extra mile for you.

From difficult situations to figuring out hard decisions, he will never back down from a fight or a confusing issue.

He will be brave in the face of hardship, illness, relationship issues and career problems and never offload onto you.

The good thing is that this does not mean he’ll be reckless.

In fact, a true alpha is far from “toxic” or aggressive: he acts competently and judiciously to defend those he loves and to take action when necessary to achieve the best outcome.

He will fight forest fires or move with you to a new city for your career, but he’ll never just jump into something without looking.

That’s because an alpha male wants successful outcomes, not just battle scars to show off.

6) He earns his respect

A true alpha male doesn’t swagger or brag in a fake way.

He earns the respect he has in the world and in your arms.

This isn’t transactional, it’s just the way he operates. He doesn’t want unearned flattery or praise from others.

And he doesn’t expect you to baby him or coddle him. He likes earning your kisses and knowing he’s your man through and through.

The alpha male partner is the exact opposite of the pampered man-child boyfriend or husband.

The alpha never expects to just be looked after and worshipped because you’re his girl.

He holds himself to a high standard and gets the job done, enjoying intimacy and love as an extra bonus, not something he’s “entitled” to.

7) He barely ever complains

Most of us complain now and then, and some of us complain a lot.

With an alpha, complaining is like a curse. He avoids it like the plague.

That’s because he knows that complaining creates and empowers a cycle of powerlessness and fixation on failure.

He’s focused on success and using the power that he does have to make life better for himself and others.

He may admit he had a bad day sometimes, sure, but he’ll also include what he’s going to do about it, or how much better he expects tomorrow to be.

Or about the new job he’s looking for instead.

The alpha male doesn’t get off on whining, in fact, it makes him sick.

As Chris Beastall at Ape to Gentleman says of the alpha mentality:

“Yes, shit happens, through no fault of your own. Such is life – much of the way it works out is utterly beyond your control. But for everything you can act on, take responsibility.

If you want to change something you don’t like – about yourself, about the world – take steps to make that change. It might not work out. But don’t just sit there whining.”

8) He brings out your inner feminine

The alpha male isn’t just strong and “macho,” he’s also a man in the more subtle sense of the word.

He’ll bring out your inner feminine and let you be vulnerable and open without feeling endangered.

Basically, because he is strong in his masculinity and secured in his identity, it gives you more space to be secure in your feminine identity.

The only warning here is that for women who are also very “alpha,” an alpha guy can be a bad match.

“If you’re an alpha woman and you like to compete with your man, you’re going to lose him right away. An alpha man is not interested in dating a woman who is more masculine than him,”

writes David Wygant.

Alpha men don’t want to be with a woman who is always trying to one-up them.

They want to be with a woman they can care for and love and be a man around.

9) He’s assertive but still sensitive

A true alpha doesn’t push other people around, and he certainly doesn’t strong-arm his woman.

Popular depictions of alpha males as insensitive brutes have really led to big misunderstandings.

Men who act like that are not by any psychological or social meaning “alpha.” They are generally much lower on the food chain and trying to compensate by being jackasses.

The alpha asserts himself, but he doesn’t use violence or egotism to get his way.

Alpha males can make the ideal partner because they are not just lovey-dovey dopes, but they’re also not these big burly buttheads who push everyone over, either.

“The dominant male who is demanding, violent, and self-centered is not considered attractive to most women, whereas the dominant male who is assertive and confident is considered attractive,”

writes Scott Kaufman, the scientific director of The Imagination Institute in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania.

“Sensitivity and assertiveness are not opposites. In fact, further research suggests that the combination of kindness and assertiveness might just be the most attractive pairing,”

he adds.

10) He’s highly driven

Alpha males need a mission and a challenge.

Looking after their romantic partner obviously factors into this, but the alpha is driven in every aspect of life.

His own brain and his whole physiology motivate him to push harder, climb further and think smarter.

He doesn’t want to just settle or do what everyone else does.

He wants to follow his passion or his skillset to its ultimate conclusion and develop his potential fully.

“Living life as an alpha male isn’t easy – in fact, it’s much more difficult. Everything is a competition. Everything has a purpose or a reason. We thrive off what we envision our lives to be, but holding on to that vision can be difficult.

There is nothing more dangerous in the world than an alpha male who loses that vision, who loses the understanding of why he exists,”

writes relationship expert Paul Hudson.

One of the great things is that an alpha male will also help you to achieve your full potential in every way, which is quite a win-win.

The other ‘types’ of guys

Even if you don’t fully believe in the idea of dividing men into groups based on their personality and type, this practice has proven very useful and insightful.

There are plenty of other types of guys than alpha males, as I mentioned earlier. Here’s a basic breakdown of a few kinds.

Beta Male

Beta males are generally less traditionally masculine and dominant than alpha males. In nature, the beta male avoids conflict and tends to back down from a confrontation.

They are the proverbial “nice guy” and for some women, they are actually a great catch: dependable, pleasant, stable and able to compromise and take criticism well.

On the downside, the beta male can be a bit of a whiner and will often tend toward being a little lazier and more passive when action is called for.

Delta Male

A delta male is basically what – for better or for worse – people would call a “regular guy.” He works hard, looks after his woman, and likes to help others.

He’s sort of the solid foundation of society and can be a reliable and attractive mate for many women, although the delta male is generally more conformist and passive than an alpha.

Gamma Male

The gamma males are like wannabe alpha males in the socio-sexual hierarchy. They are generally quite attractive in their personality, confident and romantic, but they are not really leaders at heart. However, they want to be.

For this reason, the gamma male is often a real striver who can become a little envious of alphas, betas, and deltas.

Sigma Male

Sigma males are basically lone wolves. They may be a very good match for an individualist, independent woman, but can often be borderline anti-social.

People tend to look up to sigma males, but unlike alpha males, they don’t generally have the same social bonding skills.

Sigma males are generally well-liked and successful, but need a lot of their own space and prefer to get things done on their own terms.

Omega Male

Omega males are at the bottom of the food chain in terms of power dynamics. They want to be invisible and left alone. Many women barely notice them and they tend to have very low confidence, shoddy self-esteem, and deep insecurity.

There is nothing necessarily wrong with an omega male, but they can often be a work in progress when it comes to forming a relationship with one.

Should you date an alpha male?

Alpha males offer a lot to a relationship and can make an excellent partner.

So can beta males, delta males, sigma males, omega males and gamma males.

It all depends on what you’re looking for, really, and on the unique connection you have with your man.

One of the most powerful characteristics of an alpha male in a relationship is that he stands by you through thick and thin, and always holds himself and you to the highest standard.

This can be a challenge for some women, but the high octane approach can be a real winner for those who rise to the occasion.

Alpha males don’t just strive for the best for themselves, they also help give a boost to everyone around them.

And nowhere is this more true than for the special woman in their lives.

As social worker Jenni Jacobsen observes:

“The alpha husband holds others to a high standard, but this is because he also holds himself to high standards and expects the same of others.

You might consider viewing this in a positive light. He simply wants you to be the best you can.”

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Written by Paul Brian

I’m a multimedia journalist with experience in print, photography, video, and online. My passion is reporting on individuals, faiths, nations, and situations that impact us all on the journey of life.

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