Paul Brian
Polished people act with grace and class.
This means that there are certain behaviors and actions that they avoid ever doing in public.
Here are the most important things polished people never do in public.
1. Argue
Have you ever been in the grocery store or at the gas station and seen a couple arguing loudly?
It’s jarring and awkward, because nobody knows what to do.
Do you ignore them and pretend everything’s fine?
Do you intervene or ask if they’re OK?
Do you tell them to take their problems elsewhere?
Airing your dirty laundry in public is one of those things nobody plans to do, but it sometimes does happen.
However for classy and polished individuals, these kinds of interactions are not something you do in public.
Arguing and tense situations sometimes explode in unexpected ways, but it’s one of those things polished people never do in public.
2. Fart
Everybody farts, or at least so I’ve been told (I still refuse to believe that someone like Scarlett Johansson or Rachel McAdams is capable of committing the act of flatulence).
Regardless, if you are an individual who farts but you’re also classy and polished, you’re not going to fart in public.
I can almost hear the question people are asking right now but scared to voice:
What about silent farts or farts that you really, really want to do and are almost 100% sure nobody will know was you and might not even actually smell that bad once they’re out anyway?
What about those?
No, even those farts are completely out of bounds for a polished person to publicly emit.
Strict, I know, but don’t look at me. I don’t make the rules.
3. Pick their nose
Another of the key things polished people never do in public is pick their nose.
This is how I know I am not a polished person, because I am guilty of this horrific offense (once, many years ago, in ancient history).
On the upside, at least I’m honest.
Apparently, I’m not alone:
Two days ago I walked into a grocery store to buy provisions and was greeted by a pretty young lady who was languidly picking her nose at the cash register without a care in the world.
I said hello without any visible reaction.
Who am I to judge? Maybe she’s my soulmate. Perhaps we could form a new cryptocurrency named NoseCoin by mining our naval cavities in conjunction and linking it to some kind of online platform.
In any case, all joking aside: polished people don’t pick their noses in public!
Save that for private, or better yet don’t pick your nose at all (yuck!).
4. Fidget nervously
The next of the things polished people never do in public is fidget nervously.
Even if inside you may feel like a wallflower at the middle school dance, you keep your hands out of your pockets and you don’t fidget.
Consider your fingers glued together if it helps.
Polished people just don’t fidget.
The greatest indulgence they may allow themselves is flicking a lighter on and off on occasion, or checking their phone as a replacement for a nervous fidget.
Other allowable tics that are better than fidgeting?
Adjusting rings on the finger, checking the time or even stretching (but don’t overdo this one as it can start to get awkward if you’re doing a full stretch inside Starbucks at 7 a.m. to alleviate the jitters of standing in line).
5. Mumble awkwardly
We can’t all speak with perfect eloquence all the time, but one of the things polished people never do in public is mumble awkwardly.
Better to say nothing at all than to mutter and mumble unclearly.
If at all possible, a polished person tries to keep what they say short and sweet.
This means that they either say something or they don’t. There’s no trailing off or “yeah I guess, I dunno uhhh…” mumbles at the end of what they say.
Say or don’t say, there is no try!
6. Laugh at bad jokes
What do you do when somebody tells you a really offensive or unfunny joke?
The correct answer is: nothing.
The unfortunate truth for many people, however, is laugh awkwardly or even laugh fully in hopes that pretending to find something funny will make you popular or lead to acceptance.
Polished people don’t do that.
They’ll laugh if a joke is funny, sure.
But they’re not out there guffawing at stupid tasteless witticisms just to get acceptance, and even funny jokes won’t make them double over or spit their coffee.
Restraint is the name of the game.
7. Seek attention
Attention seeking seems to be the commodity of our times.
It’s not just social media, either.
It’s like people in public just want to get noticed and seen by everyone possible.
Polished people don’t bother with that.
They wear what they want and feel good in, but they never make a fashion statement just to seek attention…
They never drive down the street with thudding bass just to turn heads…
It’s so juvenile and stupid, why would they engage in such cringe?
8. Apologize profusely
If you commit a faux pas or do something wrong, you say sorry. Simple.
But one of the things polished people never do in public is apologize profusely.
They don’t blubber and say sorry over and over if they bump into someone accidentally…
They don’t apologize breathlessly if they ask a barista to correct an order that was wrong…
Apologizing has its place, but over-apologizing can honestly be a form of passive-aggressiveness in some cases.
9. Give in to road rage
The next of the things polished people never do in public is give in to road rage.
There are some truly awful drivers out there, and we all have to deal with them at times.
But the classy and polished person restrains him or herself from cursing at other drivers, excessive honking or angry shouting denunciations.
It does no good, anyway.
In the worst case scenario they may just take a photo of someone’s license and contact police about an aggressive or reckless driver.
But road rage incidents and flipping out on the freeway? Not going to happen.
10. Look down when somebody makes eye contact
Last and very importantly in the things polished people never do in public is look down when somebody makes eye contact.
This is often done when somebody feels insecure or subconsciously ashamed.
In nature looking down is a sign of submission, of giving up.
Polished people meet the gaze of somebody who looks at them. If it becomes uncomfortable or boring, they look away.
They do not look down.
Stay polished, Ponyboy…
Being a polished person doesn’t mean you’re perfect.
It just means that you care about your image and keeping your honor intact in the midst of the crowd.
If you avoid the above behaviors and actions you can be sure that your status as a polished individual will remain intact and preserved!
