8 phrases you’ll never hear a truly confident person say, according to psychology

A truly confident person, according to psychology, has a distinct way of expressing themselves that sets them apart from others.

That’s why if you’ve ever interacted with someone who exudes true confidence, you’ll notice there are certain phrases they simply never say.

But you might be surprised to find out what these phrases are. As these are things many of us say everyday without realizing the impact they have.

So read on to learn 8 phrases you’ll never hear a truly confident person say according to psychology. Understanding these could be your first step towards nurturing your own confidence.

1) “I can’t do this”

This phrase is one you’re unlikely to hear from someone who’s truly confident. When faced with a challenge, a confident person doesn’t immediately resort to self-defeat.

Sure, they might be aware of the difficulty that lies ahead. They might even have some doubts or fears.

But what sets them apart is their ability to navigate these feelings without letting them dictate their actions.

A statement like “I can’t do this” essentially closes off any opportunity for growth or learning. It’s a self-imposed barrier that prevents any progress before it even begins.

Confident individuals, however, approach situations with a “can-do” mindset.

They understand that success isn’t always guaranteed, but they believe in their ability to take on the challenge regardless. Their focus isn’t on the possibility of failure, but rather on the potential for growth and learning.

“I can’t do this” is a phrase that perpetuates self-doubt and insecurity – something a truly confident person knows better than to entertain in their daily conversations.

2) “Did I do that right?”

At first glance, this phrase might seem like a humble request for feedback, but it’s not typically part of a confident person’s vocabulary.

Confident individuals know the value of feedback, of course. They understand that it’s an essential tool for growth.

But instead of questioning their own actions or seeking approval, they’re more likely to ask how they can improve or what they could do differently next time.

The question “Did I do that right?” subtly implies a need for external validation.

It’s a sign that the person is more focused on meeting others’ expectations than they are on their own personal growth and self-assessment.

On the flip side, truly confident people are self-assured in their actions. They have an internal compass that guides them. They seek improvement, not validation.

Therefore, they’re more likely to ask specific, constructive questions about their performance rather than questioning if they did something “right”.

3) “I wish I was more like them”

This phrase is a clear indicator of comparison, something that confident individuals steer clear of.

Instead, they embrace their individuality and understand the value of their unique abilities and experiences.

Comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy and can severely affect self-esteem.

In fact, a study from the University of Naples found that people who compare themselves to others experience envy. And the more they compare, the more envious they become.

Confident individuals are focused on their own journey.

They recognize their strengths and work on their weaknesses, rather than wishing to be someone else. They know that everyone has their own path and comparing themselves to others only distracts from their own growth and progress.

“I wish I was more like them” is a phrase you won’t hear from a truly confident person because they are too busy being themselves.

4) “I’m just lucky”

A truly confident person recognizes their accomplishments and the hard work that has led to their success.

That’s why, instead of attributing their achievements to luck, they acknowledge the effort they’ve put into reaching their goals.

It’s not that they don’t believe in luck or serendipity. It’s simply that they understand the role of their own actions in shaping their destiny. They see the value in their perseverance, commitment, and determination.

When someone says “I’m just lucky”, it can sometimes appear as though they’re dismissing their own worth or abilities. It’s as if they’re not giving themselves the credit they deserve.

A confident individual, however, is more likely to express gratitude for opportunities while also acknowledging their own role in seizing those opportunities.

They appreciate the journey and honor the hard work that has brought them to where they are.

“I’m just lucky” is a phrase that undervalues one’s own contribution, and that’s not something a truly confident person tends to do.

5) “It’s all my fault”

We all make mistakes, and it’s natural to feel responsible when things go wrong.

However, a confident person understands that every situation is complex and rarely attributable to one person or one action alone.

When someone says “It’s all my fault”, they’re shouldering all the blame. This could lead to unnecessary guilt and self-doubt. 

It also negates the fact that life is a series of interactions, where outcomes are often the result of various factors and inputs.

Confident individuals are not afraid to own up to their mistakes. They apologize when necessary and strive to learn from their missteps.

But they also know that they’re not solely responsible for every negative outcome or problem.

Instead of taking on all the blame, they examine the situation objectively, accepting their part in it without letting it consume them or affect their self-worth.

“It’s all my fault” is a phrase that doesn’t take into account the complexities of life, something a truly confident person understands well.

6) “I don’t know why they would want to be friends with me”

This phrase reflects self-doubt and a lack of self-worth, which are not common traits in confident individuals.

Confident people trust in their values and believe they have something worthwhile to contribute to their relationships.

Let’s consider an example.

Picture a person who’s just been invited to a social event by a group of people she admires.

If she’s lacking confidence, she might question why they’d want her around, even though they’ve clearly expressed their interest in her company.

A confident person, however, would take this invitation as recognition of her worth. She would not question why they would want to be friends with her.

Instead, she would feel grateful for the opportunity to connect with others and contribute positively to the social gathering.

“I don’t know why they would want to be friends with me” is a phrase that undermines one’s own value, something a truly confident person avoids doing.

7) “I’m not good enough”

This phrase is a self-limiting belief that can halt progress and growth, and it’s not something a confident person would say.

This is because they know that their worth is not measured by external standards or comparisons.

Confidence comes from understanding your worth and abilities. It’s about recognizing that you are constantly evolving and improving, and that every step you take, no matter how small, is progress.

When someone constantly tells themselves “I’m not good enough”, they’re essentially programming their brain to believe it.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that can hold them back from reaching their full potential.

Confident individuals, however, don’t allow these negative thoughts to control their actions or dictate their future.

They understand they’re a work in progress and that mistakes and setbacks are part of the journey, not an indication of their worth.

“I’m not good enough” is a phrase that undermines one’s potential, and that’s not something a truly confident person indulges in.

8) “I’ll never be able to…”

This phrase is a definitive statement that shuts down possibilities before they even have a chance to develop.

Confident individuals, however, know better than to limit their future with such absolute terms.

Confidence is about believing in your potential and seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, not as insurmountable obstacles.

So even when faced with a difficult task, a confident person would approach it with a “let’s see how far I can go” mindset, rather than declaring defeat from the outset.

The phrase “I’ll never be able to…” is an anchor that pulls you down, preventing you from exploring your capabilities and reaching your goals.


The language we use shapes our reality. Our words reflect our beliefs about ourselves and our potential.

So choose to use words that uplift, inspire and motivate you. Believe in your abilities and remember that setbacks are just stepping stones on the path to success.

While this article has shed light on some phrases that you won’t typically hear from a truly confident person, it’s not about avoiding these words or phrases completely. It’s about cultivating a mindset that supports self-growth and resilience.

Nobody else can define your confidence for you. It’s something that comes from within. So here’s to nurturing our self-belief, welcoming growth, and becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

9 personality traits that show you’re a high-quality person

If you want to be instantly likable, start using these 8 phrases when meeting new people