8 phrases only genuinely smart people use during an argument, according to psychology

If you’ve ever been in a heated argument, you know things can become tense and sometimes, downright messy.

Arguments between genuinely intelligent individuals, however, tend to take a different path. They’re often more composed and thought-provoking, leaving you with a sense of admiration and curiosity.

You might notice these smart people deploying certain phrases during these disagreements. They do this to navigate the conversation towards a more constructive end. It’s not a tactic or trick; it’s more of an art form.

Understanding these phrases and their impact could help you manage your future disagreements more effectively.

This isn’t about winning arguments, but about enhancing communication.

So buckle up as we dive into the 8 phrases only genuinely smart people use during an argument, according to psychology.

1) “I see your point, but…”

We all know that disagreements can get heated pretty quickly. But genuinely smart people have a knack for diffusing this tension while still asserting their perspectives.

One common phrase they might use is, “I see your point, but…”. This phrase serves a dual purpose.

Firstly, it acknowledges the other person’s viewpoint, making them feel heard and valued.

This is crucial in maintaining a respectful and constructive argument.

Secondly, the ‘but’ allows them to smoothly transition into presenting their own viewpoint. It’s not about one-upping the other person or dismissing their ideas; it’s about building upon what has been said to contribute to the discussion.

This simple phrase promotes mutual respect and understanding, something that is often lacking in heated arguments.

By using it, smart individuals are fostering an environment of open dialogue rather than a battleground of conflicting ideas.

The key?

The goal isn’t to ‘win’ the argument but to reach a mutual understanding through effective communication.

And this phrase is a powerful tool that genuinely smart people use to navigate towards this goal.

2) “Help me understand…”

At first glance, it may appear as a sign of weakness or confusion, but when a smart person says, “Help me understand…”, they’re doing much more than asking for clarification.

This phrase invites the other person to explain their viewpoint in greater detail. It’s a strategic move that encourages the other party to delve deeper into their perspective and reasoning.

However, it’s not merely about gathering information.

By asking this, smart individuals are subtly prompting the other person to question their own beliefs and possibly identify any flaws or inconsistencies in their argument.

More importantly, “Help me understand…” shows respect for the other person’s viewpoint and reinforces a sense of collaboration rather than confrontation.

It’s a subtle, yet powerful way to guide an argument towards a more productive path.

3) “What if we tried…”

In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to get stuck in a deadlock, where neither party is willing to concede. This is where smart people bring in the phrase, “What if we tried…”.

This phrase opens up the possibility for alternative solutions and breaks away from the binary of right and wrong. It shifts the focus of the argument from opposing viewpoints to shared problem-solving.

Underneath this approach lies the principle of cognitive flexibility, the ability to switch between different concepts or adapt to new scenarios.

People with high cognitive flexibility are better at resolving conflicts because they are more open to new ideas and less likely to get stuck in rigid thinking patterns.

By using “What if we tried…”, smart individuals not only steer the conversation towards resolution but also stimulate creative thinking, fostering a more flexible and solution-oriented mindset in the process.

4) “I can see why you would feel that way…”

When emotions are running high, it’s easy for the focus to shift from the issue at hand to the individuals involved.

Smart people recognize this and will often say, “I can see why you would feel that way…”.

This simple phrase is a powerful tool for de-escalation. It communicates validation and understanding, two key elements in resolving conflicts.

By acknowledging the other person’s feelings, it creates a safe space for open dialogue and mutual respect.

Moreover, it shows the willingness to step into the other person’s shoes and understand their perspective, which is crucial in any argument.

This subtle display of empathy not only diffuses tension but also encourages the other party to reciprocate the same level of understanding and respect.

Such an approach allows for a more balanced conversation where feelings are respected and heard, leading to healthier and more productive discussions.

5) “I’ve been there too…”

Arguments can sometimes feel like a lonely battlefield, but smart people know how to bridge that gap. A phrase they often use is, “I’ve been there too…”.

By sharing their own experiences or feelings that align with the other person’s, they create a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding. This shows the other person that they are not alone in their feelings or experiences.

This phrase also subtly shifts the dynamic of the argument, making it less about opposing sides and more about shared experiences.

It reduces the level of defensiveness and opens up a space for more compassionate and understanding dialogue.

By saying “I’ve been there too…”, smart individuals are reminding their conversation partners that we’re all human and we all have shared experiences, making the argument less of a conflict and more of an opportunity for mutual growth.

6) “In my experience…”

While every argument is unique, smart people tend to draw upon their past experiences to inform their current discussions. A phrase they might use is, “In my experience…”.

For instance, in a discussion about the best ways to manage work stress, they might say, “In my experience, taking regular breaks has been really effective for managing my stress levels.”

This phrase allows them to bring in their own insights and knowledge without discrediting the other person’s viewpoint. It adds a personal touch to the conversation, making it more engaging and relatable.

Also, by sharing their experiences, they’re subtly encouraging the other person to do the same. This can lead to a more balanced and robust discussion where both parties feel valued and heard.

“In my experience…” isn’t about boasting or showing off. It’s about using personal insights to enrich the dialogue and promote mutual understanding.

7) “Let’s stick to the facts…”

Sometimes, emotions can cloud the clarity of an argument. This is when smart people step in with the phrase, “Let’s stick to the facts…”.

This phrase serves as a gentle reminder to keep the discussion focused and objective. It helps to steer away from personal attacks or emotional tangents that can derail a productive conversation.

By guiding the discussion back to facts, they’re emphasizing the importance of rationality and objectivity in resolving conflicts.

It’s not about dismissing emotions, but about ensuring that decisions are informed by reality and not just feelings.

“Let’s stick to the facts…” is a straightforward yet respectful way of ensuring that the argument stays on track and leads to a constructive resolution.

8) “Let’s find a solution together…”

When all is said and done, the goal of any argument should be to reach a resolution, not to ‘win’. This is exactly what smart people aim for when they say, “Let’s find a solution together…”.

This phrase highlights the importance of collaboration and mutual understanding in resolving conflicts. It shifts the focus from who is right or wrong to how we can solve this issue together.

The essence of this phrase underscores what genuinely smart people understand about arguments – they are not battles to be won, but opportunities for growth, learning, and understanding.

“Let’s find a solution together…” is not just a phrase; it’s a mindset. And it’s the most important thing to remember when you find yourself in an argument.

So the next time you’re in a heated discussion, remember this phrase and the collaborative spirit it embodies. It might just change the entire course of your conversation.


Being genuinely smart goes beyond having an arsenal of facts at your disposal—it’s about how you navigate through different viewpoints, arguments, and disagreements.

This article has shed light on certain phrases that smart people use during an argument, but remember, the final choice on how to handle disagreements is entirely yours.

The time you invest in understanding others and fostering constructive conversations is never wasted. It’s an investment in building more meaningful connections and fostering mutual growth.

Being truly smart means having the courage to approach arguments not as battles to be won, but as opportunities for understanding, respect, and mutual growth.

So here’s to embracing a more empathetic, understanding, and constructive approach to disagreements. May your future arguments lead to growth, learning, and better conversations!

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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