Adrian Volenik
Emotionally intelligent people stand out in everyday life because they can stay calm and composed even in challenging situations.
They’re also great listeners who make others feel heard and understood and are great at resolving conflicts peacefully and building strong, supportive relationships.
But this is all great on paper. In reality, something’s missing from this equation, and that’s the glue. In this case, it’s certain phrases that only they use.
So, let’s discover what these phrases are according to psychology.
1) “I understand how you feel”
When emotionally intelligent people get what others feel like, they tell them that as they’re genuinely trying to put themselves in the other person’s shoes.
That means they actively listen and feel empathy while at the same time trying to grasp the nuances and depth of their emotions.
You didn’t have to experience the exact same situation before, but you can relate to the underlying emotions and validate their feelings.
Psychological research suggests that empathetic responses help people feel heard and understood, contributing to healthier relationships.
2) “Thank you for sharing your view”
There’s nothing better for mutual understanding and constructive dialogue than active listening and perspective-taking.
By saying, “Thank you for sharing your view,” high EQ people show that they value diversity of thought and respect different viewpoints.
So, why not take a page out of their book and do the same: thank someone for telling you their side of things and (perhaps) opening your eyes.
By expressing gratitude for someone’s perspective, you’re signaling that you’re open to learning and growing from the exchange.
You encourage an environment of mutual respect and promote ongoing dialogue.
3) “I’m sorry, I made a mistake”
Even though I know there are many different types of people walking among us, I’m still somewhat shocked when someone doesn’t apologize when something’s clearly their fault.
But why is apologizing so important?
Apologizing sincerely means acknowledging your shortcomings and taking responsibility for your actions.
It means you’re genuinely remorseful and committed to making amends. By admitting your mistakes, you’re demonstrating humility and integrity, which are fundamental for building trust and repairing relationships.
And if you can do that, you’re obviously emotionally intelligent. Okay, but what if there’s no clear answer to a situation or perhaps an argument? Here’s what high EQ people say:
4) “Let’s take a break and revisit this later”
Psychologically, you need to have self-awareness and empathy to solve conflicts effectively and as fair as you can.
So, when there’s no solution in sight, there’s no point in forcing things. So why not cool off and come back to this problem when you’re calmer?
Recognizing the need for a break reveals emotional maturity and a commitment to constructive communication.
It allows both parties to step back, cool off, and approach the issue with a fresh perspective.
However, taking a break doesn’t mean avoiding the problem. It’s just a strategic pause to prevent escalation and promote more effective problem-solving.
5) “What can we learn from this situation?”
And when the dust settles, should you just forget about the whole thing? Well, in some cases, that would be the best option, yes.
But in most others, you should look back at it and try to actually learn something from it.
That way, the argument or a difficult situation won’t be in vain. Besides, psychology tells us that adopting a growth mindset helps us learn and grow from challenges, making us more adaptable and resilient.
But you have to reflect on past experiences, pull valuable insights, and apply them to future situations.
6) “How can I support you?”
Okay, so we know that emotionally intelligent people are compassionate, right? That’s why it comes as no surprise that they’ll offer help and support when they see someone struggling.
But offering support isn’t just about providing solutions. You need to show genuine concern and willingness to assist in whatever way is necessary.
Sometimes, it’s offering practical help and other times, it’s simply lending a listening ear or just being present during difficult times.
That’s why this phrase is so important:
It signifies empathy and a desire to ease the other person’s burden, and high EQ people know that.
7) “I’m here for you”
On more than a couple of occasions, a friend or someone I was helping told me that just being there for them in a tricky situation was lifesaving.
And I get that. An extra pair of eyes or just moral support from the person standing beside you gives you strength and confidence to deal with something or someone.
Besides, psychology shows that emotional support builds resilience and strengthens bonds, making us feel safer and more connected.
8) “It’s okay to feel upset”
Look, life is full of ups and downs:
Everyone encounters challenges and setbacks in life that can trigger feelings of frustration, sadness, or anger.
Research shows that suppressing or denying feelings can lead to increased stress and psychological distress.
By acknowledging and accepting someone’s emotions, we help them to cope better with difficult situations and work through their feelings in a healthy way.
You encourage open communication and vulnerability, allowing them to share their feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.
As someone who often represses feelings and emotions when something goes wrong, I appreciate when someone reminds me that it is okay to feel and to express what I’m feeling.
9) “I trust your judgment”
When someone with a high EQ says, “I trust your judgment,” they’re basically saying, “I believe in your ability to make good decisions.”
Imagine you’re facing a tough decision, and a friend tells you, “I trust your judgment.”
They’re giving you a vote of confidence, saying they know you’re capable of making the right call based on what you know and feel.
Psychologically, it’s like giving someone a pat on the back, recognizing their wisdom and experience.
It encourages them to trust their instincts and take charge of their decisions, which can be really empowering.
10) “I’m proud of you for trying”
As you know, things don’t always work out how we imagine they will. From not getting into a college of your choice, not getting that job or promotion, or getting rejected by a person you fancy, there’s a never ending supply of disappointments in life.
Emotionally intelligent people show their support and encouragement, letting you know that you admire their determination and courage.
Psychologically, it’s really powerful because it boosts confidence and strength. It helps people feel good about themselves, even if things don’t go exactly as planned.
But here’s another phrase we all love hearing:
11) “I love you, no matter what”
When someone with high emotional intelligence says, “I love you, no matter what,” they’re essentially saying, “I’m here for you, through thick and thin.”
They value you for who you are, not just for what you do or how you appear. By doing that, they create a sense of safety and trust in the relationship because you know you can be yourself without fear of critique or denial.
Here’s a great example:
You and your sibling have a disagreement, and they say, “I love you, no matter what. Our differences don’t change the fact that you’re my family, and I care about you.”
So, although you have differing opinions, perhaps about something important to both of you, they remind you that the foundation of love and care remains unchanged.
Final thoughts
The way we communicate and relate to others shapes the quality of our relationships.
Emotionally intelligent people are well aware of that, and that’s why they make a conscious effort to connect with people by using a deliberate language that encourages open dialogue , respect, and validates different perspectives.
If we put these ideas into action in our daily interactions, we can also build stronger relationships, handle disagreements more effectively, and create a happier and more supportive social atmosphere.
