8 phrases only confident women use, according to psychology

Confident women don’t scream “Look at me! I’m confident.”

In fact, the genuinely confident ones act and look so…normal. 

But you’ll get an idea that they’re in fact self-assured based on the words that come out of their mouths.

If you’re wondering if a woman you know is truly confident, pay very close attention to what she says.

Here are 8 phrases only confident women use, according to psychology.

1) “No, I don’t want to.”

It’s a shame that, in this day and age, women still find it hard to say “No”.

We’re expected to say “yes” to everything—from small favors like watering the neighbor’s plants to big ones like bearing a child.

Those who turn down requests are often labelled as “difficult” or “complicated” women…insults that no men are called for when they’re doing the same thing.

That’s why, for women, the ability to set boundaries is a marker of confidence.

It means she doesn’t want to sacrifice her own happiness and principles just to please others around her. And it ultimately means she has a healthy dose of respect for herself.

So don’t be fooled.

Even if a woman appears timid—let’s say she just smiles and nods during convos—if she’s able to say “No” and be firm with it, she’s more confident than the talkative “yes” girl.

2) “I’m sorry, but I respectfully disagree.”

In a recent survey of 1100 female employees, 45% of them find it challenging to speak up at work. 

Confident women are definitely not part of the 45%. Or at least they don’t want to.

They know that if they really have to speak up, they should.

That’s why if they don’t agree on what their boss is proposing, they’d say something—even if their voice is trembling.

And if they don’t like what their uncle is saying at the dinner table, they’d call him out.

Confident women have unlearned what society has been telling us for decades—that women should just be agreeable and polite all the damn time.

So yes, they speak up.

Even if it means they’d end up offending immature people.

Even if it changes the mood of the room.

And sometimes, even if it means they’d make a total fool of themselves (definitely better than simply shutting up).

3) “Thank you.”

People with low self-esteem are the ones who find it extremely uncomfortable hearing compliments, according to a study published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

Perhaps they’re so convinced they’re not good enough…and so people’s compliments sound insincere to them—sometimes, even insulting.

Confident women know their worth. Yes, they’re aware that they’re not the greatest (confidence doesn’t mean delusion), but they know they’re not that bad either.

So when they hear someone say “Nice dress!”, they won’t go “Oh really? Nah…I just found it at a thrift store.”

Instead, they’d say “Why, thank you! It even has pockets.”

And if their boss praises them in front of everyone for a job well done, they’d give a genuine smile and say “I’m happy you appreciate my work! Thank you very much.”

4) “I appreciate your feedback.”

Those who lack self-confidence see any negative feedback as a personal attack.

They’d get teary-eyed if you just say something like “Hmm…I think your work still needs a bit of improvement.”

Confident women, on the other hand, don’t fear critical feedback. What they actually fear is not getting any because that means people are not interested!

Why are they like this?

Well, because they’re not just confident of who they are, they have a healthy ego, too.

They don’t consider their work as an extension of themselves because their work is just one small part of who they are as a person. 

Besides, they know that they can always improve. And that their current work is just one of the many they’ll produce in their lifetime.

​​Because of this, they rarely need validation from others to feel good about themselves. 

5) “We should give it a try.”

Optimism and determination—these are two things confident people always have.

They know they might not be the best at what they do (yet), but they’ll try to aim high anyway. 

Because…why not? 

They have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. 

Those who have self-esteem issues, on the other hand, don’t think this way. They have a strong fear of rejection which, ironically, is what’s holding them back in life. 

Even if they’re indeed more talented and skilled than the confident person, they won’t go as far because they won’t even try!

6) “Let me tell you something…”

Confident women are not only NOT afraid to speak up, they’re also very open.

If someone asks them to share something, they would if they think they have something to share.

Unlike a woman with self-esteem issues, they don’t feel like they’re wasting people’s time when they share their stories.

They don’t feel like they’re annoying when they become the center of attention.

And they don’t think they’re oversharing when they’re just well, sharing.

In other words, they don’t self-reject because they truly believe every person has something interesting to share.

7) “Let’s do it this way.”

Confidence is often weaponized against women.

When a woman is assertive, people call her a “bossy bitch”—especially by insecure men who hate working for women.

Confident women are well aware of this but what sets them apart from the average woman is that they actually don’t give a damn.

And they’re actually doing the right thing.

A research shows that assertive women are being paid much more than their “nicer” counterparts.

Yep, confidence definitely pays.

But their assertiveness and leadership skills aren’t just confined in the office. They also take the lead in their relationships when necessary.

What’s interesting is that by practicing assertiveness, they actually become even more confident in themselves.

8) “Way to go, sister!”

Women tear other women down. Not all—but a lot of us do.

In fact it’s so common that feminist Gloria Steinem even has a name for it—the “Pull Her Down Syndrome.”

It’s basically crab mentality. It’s because we’ve been impoverished for such a long time that we tend to see each other as competitors.

But it’s only activated when you have insecurities that are emphasized when put side-by-side other people’s wins.

Your bestie’s wedding and career success stings because you don’t have either.

Understandable. It’s so hard to congratulate anyone for their wins—especially other women—when you think your life sucks.

But confident women don’t feel this way. 

They know that even if for now, others have it way better than you, you’ll get their own version of success someday.

Final thoughts

If you know a woman who says these lines often, then they must be genuinely confident.

And if you realize that you’re not as confident as you think you are, don’t feel bad.

Trust me—it’s not your fault. 

Let’s blame it on how society has taught us how to act.

So if you want to be more confident, try to unlearn what society has been telling you of how a “proper woman” should talk, think, and act.

And it also helps if you start using these phrases.

The more you utter these lines, the more you’ll become more confident in yourself.

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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