Gemma Clarke
From the moment we’re born, we’re being molded into the person our parents, teachers, and society want us to be.
We’re taught how to behave and speak and are conditioned to believe we won’t be socially accepted if we don’t conform.
So, it’s no surprise that, as adults, we struggle to understand how we truly feel, let alone express our authentic selves.
So, how do we become more authentic?
According to psychology, we build authenticity by choosing to express ourselves genuinely, without pretense or falsehood.
While the journey to living an authentic life is ongoing, adopting the following phrases can be a starting point…
1) “I don’t agree with you but I understand your point”
Authentic people recognize the value of different perspectives. So they don’t get annoyed or stop listening if someone has a different opinion.
Instead, they listen attentively. They let the other person explain their views, demonstrating their empathy and open-mindedness.
After listening, if they still don’t agree with the other person, they will let them know respectfully with a phrase like “I don’t agree with you, but I understand your point.”
This phrase shows that you have heard the other person out but are staying true to yourself.
Your authenticity means you stick to your values and beliefs no matter what, so you don’t tell someone you agree with them if you don’t.
Yet by saying you understand their point, you prevent conflicts from escalating. Thus, this phrase signifies a willingness to engage in meaningful exchanges without invalidating others’ opinions.
2) “I appreciate your input, but I’m gonna do it this way”
Another hallmark of authenticity is being confident in your own decisions.
But while authentic people are confident, they are never arrogant.
Authentic people appreciate advice and opinions from others, but ultimately, they follow their own path.
So, by saying, “I appreciate your input, but I’m going to do it this way,” they assert their autonomy without dismissing external feedback.
This phrase reflects their self-assurance, clarity of purpose, and strong connection to their inner guiding compass.
3) “I don’t feel comfortable with that”
Authentic people stay true to themselves by setting and maintaining boundaries.
So if they are uncomfortable doing something (or simply don’t want to), they will say so, even if it means upsetting someone.
Inauthentic and insecure people, on the other hand, are highly concerned about what others think of them.
So these people will agree to things they don’t want to do if they feel that saying no will upset the other person or make them look bad.
But here’s the thing…
Expressing discomfort demonstrates self-awareness and self-respect.
Authentic people prioritize their emotional well-being and assert their limits without guilt or hesitation.
By saying, “I don’t feel comfortable with that,” authentic people establish a foundation for healthy relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.
4) “This doesn’t feel right to me”
Authentic people are able to stay true to themselves because they are strongly connected to their intuition (or gut instinct).
They listen to the signals their bodies give them and act accordingly. If something feels off to them, they will say so.
Psychology supports this, too, as this 2022 study confirmed that intuitive decision-making is associated with greater authenticity.
Genuine people trust their instincts and make decisions based on what they feel they should do rather than on what they think they should do.
By being honest and saying, “This doesn’t feel right to me,” you show your commitment to authenticity even in the face of uncertainty.
5) “I’m here for you”
According to psychologist Stephen Joseph, we become more caring and giving as we build authenticity.
A 2012 research study by the University of Leicester backs up this claim.
Researchers found that authentic people are also less likely to respond aggressively during competitive games than those who do not live true to their values.
This shows that authenticity extends beyond self-expression to genuine care and support for others.
That’s why authentic people are known to offer reassurance and presence by telling those in need that they are here for them.
While many people may say, “I’m here if you need anything,” authentic people genuinely mean it.
They don’t say it because they think it’s the right thing to do. Instead, they say it because they value open communication and emotional vulnerability.
That’s why you’ll also notice genuine people often say the following phrase…
6) “But how are you really?”
While insincere people ask “how are you?” to be polite, authentic people actually mean it.
So if you reply with a simple “good, thanks,” don’t be surprised to hear them repeat the question.
By saying, “But how are you really?” authentic people show that they genuinely care about and want to know how you’re doing.
Thus, this phrase encourages honesty and vulnerability, which is one way authentic people foster deeper bonds with the people around them.
Another way they form such close relationships is by genuinely wanting their friends to do well, which we’ll discuss next…
7) “I’m truly happy for you, you deserve this success”
Authentic people celebrate others’ achievements wholeheartedly, free from jealousy or resentment.
If this is you, you’ll find yourself saying to people, “I’m truly happy for you,” and you will mean it.
There won’t be an ounce of jealousy or envy underneath your words as you genuinely believe they deserve the good things that happen to them.
This phrase demonstrates goodwill and an abundance mindset, as you don’t see other people’s wins as a threat to your success.
Thus, by expressing genuine happiness and recognition, authentic people cultivate a positive and supportive environment.
8) “Can you help me with this?”
Because authentic people create a supportive environment through their words and actions, they are not afraid to seek support from others when they need it, too.
They know that pretending they are fine when they are not or rejecting offers for help will only worsen their situation.
And because they are not preoccupied with what others think of them, they are humble enough to admit when they need help.
When someone acknowledges their limitations and reaches out for assistance, it demonstrates openness and a growth mindset.
Rather than creating a facade of perfection or winging it and hoping for the best, they choose collaboration as they know there is only so much one person can do.
The humbleness of authentic people also means they can admit when they’ve messed up…
9) “I’m sorry, I was wrong”
Insincere people will avoid owning up to mistakes, and instead shift blame onto someone or something else.
This is because they are worried about how taking accountability will affect their image.
However…
Authentic people value humility and integrity over their image.
They are also more likely to feel genuine remorse for their wrongdoings. So, they always choose to take responsibility for their actions and apologize.
While doing so feels uncomfortable, they know that honesty is the key to building open and trusting relationships.
And they’re not wrong, as research shows that apologizing promotes forgiveness and reconciliation while cultivating personal growth.
10) “I don’t know much about this”
Because authentic people can admit when they are wrong, they can also admit when they don’t know something.
Rather than pretending to have the answer to avoid losing face, people who live authentically will tell you, “I don’t know much about this.”
They don’t worry that doing so will make them look stupid. Instead, they know what psychologists understand – admitting ignorance and being willing to learn fosters curiosity and personal development.
If this is you and honesty and integrity are moral codes you live by, you’ll never pretend to be an expert on something that you are not.
In fact, pretending to know something will make you feel like a fraud, leading you to admit the truth sooner or later.
Final thoughts
When someone lives authentically, it shines through everything they do.
Yet their words, in particular, carry weight because they stem from sincerity, empathy, and integrity.
So, if you’re trying to stay true to yourself no matter what, adopt the ten phrases highlighted above.
By incorporating these expressions into your communication, you’ll not only feel happier for living to your deepest values, but you’ll also cultivate deeper connections and foster healthier relationships!
