Isabella Chase
If you’ve ever wondered what not to say to a man about his appearance, you’re not alone. Sometimes, our words can unintentionally sting and leave a lasting impact.
According to psychology, there are certain phrases that no man wants to hear about his looks. These comments may seem harmless to some, but they can actually cause a lot of damage.
Remember, everyone has their own insecurities and sensitivities. And just like women, men too care about how they look.
It’s important to keep these phrases in mind, not just in romantic relationships, but in any interaction with men.
This isn’t about walking on eggshells; rather it’s about promoting respect and understanding.
So buckle up and let’s dive in.
1) “You look tired”
This phrase is one that no man wants to hear, yet it’s often said without a second thought.
Saying “you look tired” might seem like a harmless observation, but according to psychology, it can be quite damaging.
Firstly, it implies that he isn’t looking his best or perhaps even unattractive. It’s an indirect way of saying that he looks worn out or older than he is.
Men, just like women, are conscious about their appearance and such remarks can trigger insecurities.
Secondly, saying “you look tired” sends a message that he isn’t coping well with his responsibilities or life in general.
It may make him feel as if he’s failing in some way, which can be quite demoralizing.
Remember, even if the intention behind the comment is genuine concern, it might not be perceived that way.
Instead of making assumptions about his state based on his looks, you could ask him how he’s doing or if he’s okay.
This would show your care and concern without making any potentially hurtful statements about his appearance.
2) “Have you lost weight?”
On the surface, this might seem like a compliment. Society often equates weight loss with attractiveness and health, so it’s easy to assume this comment would be well-received.
However, according to psychology, it can actually be one of the phrases no man wants to hear about his appearance.
Why? Well, there are a few reasons.
Firstly, if he hasn’t been trying to lose weight or isn’t aware that he has lost weight, this question can lead to insecurity and self-consciousness.
He might start worrying about why he’s lost weight unexpectedly.
Secondly, if he’s been trying to gain weight or maintain his current weight, your comment could feel like a setback. It’s an unintentional reminder that he’s not reaching his personal goals.
Lastly, if he has been working on losing weight intentionally, your question might diminish his effort by turning it into a casual observation rather than acknowledging the hard work and discipline involved.
Instead of commenting on perceived weight loss, consider complimenting him on looking healthy or fit. These compliments focus on positive efforts rather than just physical changes.
3) “You’d look better if you smiled more”
This phrase is often thrown around casually, with the speaker believing they’re offering a friendly piece of advice. However, it can be a phrase that men would rather not hear about their appearance.
Telling someone to smile more implies dissatisfaction with their natural expression, often referred to as a “resting face”.
It suggests that their natural state is not good enough and needs to be adjusted for the liking of others.
Additionally, the human brain is wired to interpret smiles as signs of friendliness and trustworthiness. However, this doesn’t imply that one should smile all the time.
People have a wide range of emotions and expressions, and it’s unrealistic and unfair to expect someone to constantly maintain a smile.
4) “Are you wearing that?”
This phrase may seem innocent enough, often coming from a place of concern or desire to help. However, it may not always be received in the way it was intended.
When you ask a man “Are you wearing that?”, it can feel like a subtle judgment about his fashion sense or style. It might make him second-guess his choices and lead to self-doubt.
Everyone has their unique style, and it’s a way for them to express their personality. What might not appeal to one person could be the epitome of style for another.
Instead of questioning his choice of outfit, you could offer constructive feedback. If you feel that a different outfit would suit him better, suggest it in a positive way.
For instance, “You look great in anything, but that blue shirt really brings out your eyes” provides input without undermining his choices.
5) “You’re going grey”
At some point, most people will spot a grey hair or two. While it’s a natural part of aging, hearing “You’re going grey” from someone else can be a jarring experience.
No one needs to be reminded of their advancing age, especially when it comes to changes in their appearance.
The phrase might bring unnecessary attention to an aspect that he might already feel sensitive about.
After all, age is just a number and it’s the person within that truly defines us.
6) “You’re not as muscular as you used to be”
Consider this scenario: A friend of mine was once a dedicated gym-goer, hitting the weights regularly and maintaining a muscular physique.
Life got busy, and he couldn’t keep up with his old routine. When someone pointed out, “You’re not as muscular as you used to be,” it hit him hard.
This comment not only draws attention to a change in physical appearance but also brings up past times when he was able to dedicate more time to his fitness.
It can feel like a double blow – a critique on his current appearance and a reminder of his “better” past.
It would be more supportive to acknowledge the challenges that come with life changes and encourage him in his current efforts, no matter how small they might seem.
7) “Why don’t you grow a beard?”
“Have you considered growing a beard?” or “You’d look good with a beard,” are questions and comments that may seem like friendly suggestions, but they can hurt more than help.
These comments insinuate that his current appearance isn’t good enough and that he needs to make changes to be attractive or acceptable.
Not everyone can grow a full beard, and not everyone wants to. Personal grooming choices are just that – personal.
Instead of suggesting what he should do with his facial hair, appreciate him for who he is right now.
His worth or attractiveness isn’t defined by a beard, or the lack of one. It’s his character, actions, and how he treats you and others that truly matter.
8) “You’ve put on a few pounds”
Probably one of the most sensitive areas to navigate is a person’s weight. Saying “You’ve put on a few pounds” might be seen as an observation, but it can be quite hurtful.
Weight gain or loss can be a sensitive issue for many people, including men. This comment might make him feel self-conscious about his body and can negatively impact his self-esteem.
The most important thing to remember is that everyone has their own struggles with body image, and our comments can either alleviate or exacerbate these insecurities.
Be mindful of your words and always strive to uplift rather than bring down. After all, it’s the person inside that truly matters, not the exterior.
Final thoughts
Being mindful of our words is an act of kindness, especially when it comes to comments about someone’s appearance.
Remember, it’s not just about avoiding certain phrases. It’s about promoting respect, understanding, and acceptance for each other’s unique features.
What truly matters is how we treat people and how we make them feel. Comments about appearances are fleeting, but the impact of our words can last a lot longer.
So, let’s put more energy into uplifting one another and celebrating our individual styles. Here’s to healthier communication and happier relationships!
