11 phrases narcissists use to gain your trust

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Have you ever felt confused or unsure in a relationship?

If so, you may have come across a narcissist.

Narcissists are good at tricking people into trusting them. They say things that make you feel good and important.

But often, they’re just trying to manipulate you.

In this article, we’ll talk about the 10 things narcissists commonly say to win your trust.

Knowing these phrases can help you spot a narcissist and keep yourself safe.

Let’s get started. 

1. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.”

Sounds flattering, right?

This is a phrase narcissists often use to make you feel special and unique.

They want you to think that you stand out from the crowd and they’ve finally found someone who truly understands them.

But be careful! This is usually a way for them to quickly gain your trust and affection.

They may not really know you well enough yet to make such a statement, so it’s likely just a manipulation tactic.

Remember, genuine relationships take time to build and cannot be rushed.

2. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

Narcissists are masters of quick and intense declarations of affection.

Statements like this can make you feel incredibly special and loved.

After all, who doesn’t want to be the person who finally makes someone else feel truly loved?

But it’s important to step back and think. If they barely know you, how can they be so sure about their feelings?

This is often a tactic used by narcissists to make you emotionally invested in them at an early stage.

Be wary of someone who’s moving too fast, and take your time to understand their true intentions.

3. “I feel like we were meant to be together.”

This one really had me fooled. I remember when my ex-partner said this to me only a few weeks after we met.

It felt like a fairy tale – the idea that destiny had brought us together. I was overjoyed and thought we had something truly special.

But in hindsight, I realize it was a classic move by a narcissist. They often use phrases like this to create a romantic fantasy that’s hard to resist.

It’s their way of rushing intimacy and creating a bond that’s hard to break.

If someone you’ve just met is talking about destiny and soulmates, it might be a good idea to slow down and assess the situation.

4. “No one understands me like you do.”

Narcissists often use this line to make you feel like you have an exclusive insight into their soul.

It’s designed to create a deep, inseparable bond between you two.

The interesting fact here is that narcissists often create a “false self” or persona that they believe is more likable or acceptable.

When they say no one understands them, it’s likely they’re referring to this carefully crafted persona.

What’s more, narcissists often use such tactics to maintain their self-esteem, which is usually quite fragile beneath the surface.

Be cautious if someone is quick to share their deepest secrets or claims you understand them better than anyone else – it may be a sign of manipulation.

5. “I’ve had such a hard time in the past.”

This phrase is designed to tug at your heartstrings. Narcissists often use their past or a difficult life event as a way to elicit sympathy or to justify their actions.

They might talk about how they’ve been mistreated, misunderstood, or wronged in the past, all to make you feel empathy for them.

It’s a way of making you see them as the victim, even when they’re not.

While it’s human nature to feel compassionate and want to help, it’s crucial to remember that everyone has had struggles and past hardships should not be used as an excuse for present harmful behavior.

Always maintain your boundaries and don’t let anyone manipulate your kindness.

6. “I hate drama.”

Funny enough, my ex always used to say this phrase.

At first, I thought it was great. Who wants unnecessary drama, right?

But over time, I realized that even though he claimed to dislike drama, he was often the one creating it.

Narcissists use this phrase to appear calm and reasonable.

However, they often use it as a shield when confronted about their behavior.

If you ever bring up an issue or express your feelings, they may label it as ‘drama’ – a way to deflect any criticism and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Remember, discussing problems and expressing feelings is a normal part of any healthy relationship, not ‘drama.’

7. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Notice something off about this apology?

It doesn’t really sound like they’re apologizing for their actions, but rather how you feel about them.

This is a classic non-apology that narcissists use when confronted.

It’s a slick move because it can make you second-guess your feelings and question whether you’re overreacting.

But here’s the raw truth: your feelings are valid.

If someone hurts or upsets you, they should apologize for their actions, not your reaction.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like your emotions aren’t justified.

8. “I can’t live without you.”

This phrase might seem incredibly romantic, straight out of a Hollywood movie, right?

But in reality, it’s a common phrase narcissists use to make you feel indispensable and guilty about the idea of leaving them.

They want to make you believe that they’re entirely dependent on you for their happiness.

But people who frequently say phrases like “I can’t live without you” often exhibit signs of possessive and controlling behavior.

Remember, a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and independence, not dependency.

9. “You’re overreacting.”

This phrase takes me back to a time when I was constantly made to feel like my feelings weren’t valid.

My ex would do something to upset me, and when I’d express my feelings, he’d brush it off as me ‘overreacting.’

This is a tactic narcissists use called gaslighting, where they manipulate you into doubting your feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

It’s a nasty trick that can make you second-guess yourself.

But let me tell you this: your feelings are valid, and you have every right to express them. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

10. “You’re too sensitive.”

This one cuts deep. Narcissists often use this phrase to belittle your feelings and make you doubt yourself.

They might act in hurtful ways and then use this line as a defence when you express your hurt.

It’s a raw, ugly form of emotional manipulation used to dismiss your feelings and make their harmful behaviour seem acceptable.

Remember, it’s okay to be sensitive. It means you’re capable of empathy and compassion, which are beautiful traits that should never be made to feel like weaknesses.

11. “I promise I’ll change.”

This is a classic line coming from narcissists when they’ve been caught in the act or called out on their behaviour.

They’ll make grand promises about changing, becoming better, doing anything to keep you from leaving or setting boundaries.

But here’s the raw truth: change is a hard, long process that requires true self-awareness and commitment.

It can’t be promised in the heat of a moment to avoid consequences.

Always judge people by their consistent actions over time, not their words in a moment of panic.

Navigating relationships with narcissists can be tough and emotionally draining.

But by recognizing these phrases, you can better protect yourself from manipulation and maintain healthy boundaries.

Always remember, no one has the right to belittle your feelings or disrespect you.

You deserve respect, honesty, and genuine love in all your relationships.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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