8 phrases narcissists use to undermine your confidence

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Ever met someone who always talks about themselves and puts you down? That’s probably a narcissist.

They love being the star of the show and making others feel small.

One way they do this is by using certain phrases that can make you doubt yourself.

If you’ve felt bad after talking to someone, they might have been a narcissist.

In this article, we’ll look at ten phrases that narcissists use to make you feel less confident.

By knowing these phrases, you can spot a narcissist and avoid letting them get to you.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

One of the most common tactics narcissists use to undermine your confidence is by telling you that you’re being too sensitive.

When you react to their hurtful comments or actions, they’ll make it seem like you’re the one who’s overreacting.

This phrase is designed to make you doubt your own feelings and responses, making it easier for them to manipulate you.

Don’t fall for it! It’s okay to feel hurt when someone treats you poorly.

Trust your instincts, and remember that your feelings are valid.

2. “I was just joking.”

Narcissists are experts at making mean-spirited comments and then passing them off as jokes.

For example, imagine you’re excited about a new outfit you bought, and a narcissist says, “You really think that looks good on you?”

When you express your hurt, they might quickly reply with, “I was just joking, can’t you take a joke?”

It’s a way for them to dismiss your feelings and make you question your own reaction.

I remember a time when a friend of mine dealt with this situation.

She shared an idea she had for a project at work, and her boss, who was known for being a bit of a narcissist, laughed and said, “You actually think that’ll work?”

When she looked upset, he immediately said he was just joking.

It’s a hurtful tactic that can make you feel small and discourage you from expressing your thoughts and feelings.

Remember, if someone’s “joke” hurts you, it’s not your responsibility to laugh it off.

You deserve to be respected and heard, and it’s okay to stand up for yourself.

3. “You’re overreacting.”

This phrase is a classic tool in the narcissist’s toolkit.

When you express valid concerns or emotions, they’ll tell you that you’re overreacting.

It’s a way to make you feel like your feelings are too much, like you’re being irrational. I’ll be honest here – this one really gets under my skin.

It’s a powerful way to invalidate someone’s experience and make them doubt themselves.

I’ve seen it firsthand. A friend of mine was dating a guy who would consistently cancel plans at the last minute.

When she finally expressed her frustration, he told her she was overreacting.

I could see the self-doubt creeping into her eyes, like maybe she was asking for too much.

But she wasn’t. Her feelings were completely justified.

When someone tells you you’re overreacting, it’s often a sign that they’re unwilling to acknowledge your emotions.

Don’t let them make you feel like you’re too much. Your feelings matter. Trust yourself and what you feel.

It’s okay to expect respect and consideration from others.

4. “No one else thinks that way.”

This is another classic narcissist move.

They’ll make you feel like you’re the only one who has a certain opinion or feels a certain way.

It’s a way of isolating you and making you question your own judgment.

They want you to believe that everyone else agrees with them, and you’re the odd one out.

I’ve heard this line myself, and it’s disorienting. I once had a disagreement with a colleague who had a habit of dismissing others’ ideas.

When I brought it up, he said, “No one else thinks that way.

Everyone else is fine with my approach.” It made me feel like I was the problem. I even started to question if I was too critical or if I was overthinking things.

But here’s the thing: it’s okay to have a different opinion or perspective.

It’s okay to voice your concerns, even if you’re the only one who sees things that way.

Trust your gut and don’t let anyone make you feel alone in your beliefs. There’s value in your perspective, and it deserves to be heard.

5. “You’ll never find someone like me.”

At first glance, this phrase might seem like a compliment.

After all, the narcissist is suggesting that they’re one-of-a-kind, and you’re lucky to have them.

But it’s actually a manipulative tactic meant to undermine your confidence and keep you hooked.

It’s a way of saying, “You can’t do any better than me.”

They want you to believe that you won’t find anyone else who will put up with you, appreciate you, or love you the way they do.

Here’s the counterintuitive part: They’re right. You won’t find someone like them, and that’s a good thing.

You deserve someone who genuinely respects and values you, not someone who tries to keep you down.

If you find yourself hearing this phrase from someone, take it as a sign that you can do better and deserve better.

I once had a friend who was stuck in a toxic relationship with a partner who would often say this to her.

It kept her doubting herself, thinking that maybe she wouldn’t find someone else who would love her the way he did.

When she finally broke up with him, she realized how wrong he was.

She found someone who truly valued and respected her, and she was happier than ever.

So remember, you deserve someone who lifts you up, not someone who tries to make you feel like you can’t do better.

6. “You’re always so negative.”

Narcissists often use this phrase when you express concerns, disagree with them, or simply have a different point of view.

By labeling you as “negative,” they are trying to dismiss your opinions and make you feel like you’re the one who’s difficult or unreasonable.

It’s a way to shift the blame from their actions onto you and make you feel like you’re the one who’s wrong.

I’ve experienced this firsthand.

I once had a boss who was a narcissist, and whenever I would bring up issues that needed to be addressed, he would accuse me of being negative.

It was frustrating because it felt like my concerns were being brushed aside, and I was being made to feel like I was the one causing problems.

But here’s the thing: it’s okay to have concerns and to express them. It’s okay to disagree and have a different perspective.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re being difficult just for having an opinion.

Your voice is important, and you deserve to be heard.

7. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

Narcissists use this phrase to downplay your emotions or concerns.

It’s a way of telling you that you’re overreacting and that whatever you’re upset about isn’t important.

The goal is to make you feel like you’re being unreasonable and to divert attention away from their behavior.

I can remember a time when I witnessed this happening to a close friend of mine.

She was dating a guy who would constantly belittle her and make her feel unimportant.

When she finally mustered up the courage to confront him about it, he responded with, “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

It was clear that he was trying to brush off her concerns and make her feel like she was overreacting.

The truth is, if something bothers you, it’s important. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant someone else might think it is.

Your feelings and concerns are valid, and you deserve to have them acknowledged and addressed.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Trust yourself and stand up for what you believe in.

8. “You’re always trying to start an argument.”

Narcissists often use this phrase when you disagree with them or challenge their views.

By accusing you of being argumentative, they’re trying to shift the focus from the actual issue at hand to your behavior.

It’s a tactic to make you feel like you’re the problem and to divert attention away from their actions.

I’ve been in situations where someone used this phrase on me, and it’s infuriating. I wasn’t trying to start an argument; I was simply standing up for myself or expressing a different viewpoint.

It’s a tactic that’s designed to shut you down and make you feel like you’re being unreasonable. It’s a way of making you feel guilty for having an opinion and for asserting yourself.

So here’s truth: It’s okay to disagree. It’s okay to have your own opinions and to voice them.

Just because someone doesn’t like what you have to say doesn’t mean you’re trying to start an argument.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re being difficult just for standing up for yourself.

You have a right to be heard, and you deserve to be respected.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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