Lucas Graham
If you’ve ever crossed paths with someone manipulative, you’re well aware of the emotional roller coaster they create.
These individuals may appear friendly and caring one moment, and then suddenly turn hostile or passive-aggressive.
Manipulation isn’t a character trait; it’s a calculated behavior designed to gain control or advantage.
And while everyone can be manipulative at times, chronic manipulation can be damaging.
Understanding what these phrases are and why they’re used could be the first step in safeguarding yourself – here are 8 of them!
1) “You can trust me”
This may seem like an innocent phrase, right off the bat. But manipulative people often use this line to build an immediate sense of trust and rapport. They may present themselves as a reliable and trustworthy friend, someone you can confide in or depend on.
However, this isn’t always the case. They might not be as trustworthy as they claim to be.
Manipulative people use this phrase as a way to lower your defenses and make you more susceptible to their influence or control. Trust, in any relationship, should be earned through actions, not just promises with words.
If you hear this phrase, especially early on in a relationship or interaction, it might serve as a red flag.
It’s not that you shouldn’t trust people, but it’s essential to be cautious and understand that trust develops over time through consistent and supportive behavior, not just because someone tells you that you can trust them.
Keep in mind, that manipulation is often subtle and sneaky. By being aware of these phrases, you can better protect yourself against those who might try to manipulate you.
2) “I don’t want to impose, but…”
This phrase might sound considerate and polite. After all, the person appears to be respecting your space and limits, right? While this might be true in some cases, manipulative people often use this phrase to do just the opposite.
Under the guise of consideration, they subtly impose their will or request on you. By prefacing their demand with “I don’t want to impose, but…”, they are essentially making it harder for you to refuse.
It’s almost as if they’ve acknowledged your personal boundaries only to cross them immediately.
Their underlying motive is to make you feel obliged to fulfill their request, and it usually works because you don’t want to be seen as rude or unkind for not helping when they’ve been so ‘considerate’.
In essence, what might seem like a respectful statement can actually be a clever strategy to get you to do what they want. It’s crucial to recognize this tactic and respond accordingly, without feeling guilty for asserting your boundaries.
3) “You’re just too sensitive”
This phrase is a classic example of gaslighting, a manipulative technique where a person makes you doubt your own feelings, thoughts, and sanity.
When someone tells you that you’re too sensitive, they are not just trivializing your feelings, but also shifting the blame onto you.
The truth is, everyone has a right to their feelings. There’s no such thing as ‘too sensitive’ or ‘overreacting’. Feelings are subjective and personal. They vary from person to person and situation to situation.
When manipulative people tell you that you’re too sensitive, what they’re really doing is invalidating your feelings and experiences.
They make it seem like the problem lies with you and not their behavior. This way, they can escape accountability for their actions.
And, the next time somebody tells you that you’re just too sensitive, remember that it might be their way of manipulating the situation to their advantage. Your feelings are valid and it’s okay to express them.
4) “Nobody else understands you like I do”
At first glance, this phrase might sound like a compassionate acknowledgment of your uniqueness. And who doesn’t want to feel deeply understood by someone?
However, in the hands of a manipulator, it’s a different story.
Manipulative people often use this phrase to create an ‘us against the world’ scenario. They want you to believe that they’re the only one who truly gets you, fostering a sense of exclusivity and isolation.
They’re aiming to make you feel so special and connected to them that you rely solely on their judgment and disregard others’ opinions.
The reality is, that while each person is unique and has their own set of experiences and feelings, many people in our lives can understand us in their own ways. It’s not just limited to one person.
It’s essential to maintain your connections with others and not let one person monopolize your trust or influence.
5) “I’m only saying this for your own good”
We’ve all heard this one before, haven’t we? It’s often used by manipulative people under the pretext of giving advice or constructive criticism.
They make it seem like they’re only looking out for your best interests when in reality, they might be subtly undermining you or controlling your actions.
This phrase is manipulative because it disguises personal opinions, judgments, or demands as helpful suggestions. It makes it difficult for you to contest their views without appearing ungrateful or defensive.
The best way to handle this is to remember that you’re the best judge of what’s good for you.
It’s always okay to listen to advice, but at the end of the day, you have the right to make decisions based on your own judgment and feelings.
You don’t have to accept something just because someone insists it’s for your own good.
6) “If you really cared about me, you would…”
This is a phrase that hits close to home for many of us. Manipulative people often use it to guilt-trip you into doing something you might not want to do.
It’s a way of tying your actions to your feelings for them, creating an unfair expectation and obligation.
For example, imagine your friend wants you to lend them a significant amount of money. You’re uncomfortable with it, but they say, “If you really cared about me, you’d lend me the money.”
Now, you’re stuck in a difficult position where saying no might make it seem like you don’t care about them.
But here’s the thing: your feelings for someone should never be used as a bargaining chip.
Your care and affection for a person are not measured by what you’re willing to do for them, especially if it goes against your comfort or values.
It’s important to recognize this manipulation tactic and stand firm in your decisions without feeling guilty.
7) “Can’t you take a joke?”
This phrase is often used by manipulative people to dismiss your feelings and make you question your reactions.
If you feel hurt by a comment or a ‘joke’, they put the blame on you for not having a sense of humor, instead of acknowledging that their comment might have been inappropriate or hurtful.
Let’s get one thing straight: humor should never be at the expense of someone else’s feelings. If a joke makes you uncomfortable or upset, that’s completely valid. You don’t have to laugh it off just because someone tells you it’s a joke.
Don’t let anyone belittle your feelings under the guise of humor. Your reactions and emotions are valid, and it’s okay to express them. You’re not overreacting, and you most certainly can take a joke – just not one that’s at your expense.
8) “I’m your only real friend”
This phrase is a classic manipulation tactic to isolate you from others. By making you feel like they’re the only one who genuinely cares for you, they are trying to ensure that you rely solely on them for emotional support and validation.
Don’t forget, that having a network of diverse relationships is healthy and crucial. You don’t have to depend on a single person for all your emotional needs or let anyone monopolize your trust and attention.
In the end, it’s essential to trust your instincts. If you feel like something is off, it probably is. Don’t let anyone use these phrases to manipulate or control you.
Stand your ground, trust your feelings, and understand: that you have the right to be treated with respect and kindness in all your relationships.
