Paul Brian
There are certain things that modest people rarely say.
They’re the kind of phrases that can make you come off the wrong way as self-centered and narcissistic even if you didn’t mean them that way.
Here’s what to avoid…
1) “It’s not my problem”
This may be true, but it’s not the kind of thing that modest people usually say.
This phrase is usually said in a dismissive or resentful way, which is why it’s something that’s best to be avoided in most cases.
2) “I need you to stop talking”
This is not the kind of thing a humble person says.
If somebody is being annoying or obnoxious, you may definitely want them to be quiet, which is understandable.
But in that case something like “would you please be quiet?” will do much better…
3) “Here’s how it’s going to go…”
This is the kind of bossy thing that arrogant people tend to say.
It indicates a disinterest in other people contributing their ideas and input.
Humble people rarely say something like this, in fact I’ve never heard a modest man or woman say this.
4) “I’m not doing this right now”
When there’s an interaction or argument that’s stressful, it’s natural that you might want to avoid it.
But humble people rarely use the phrase above right now.
Let’s face it:
It comes across as if this person is some kind of CEO who decides what they are “doing” or “not doing.”
It sounds cocky and entitled.
5) “What’s so hard about this for you?”
This is the kind of thing an arrogant person or boss might say to somebody to show that they consider themselves superior.
There are people who find things hard to understand which others may find easy.
But humble people don’t rub it in or indicate they find somebody unintelligent by using phrases like this.
6) “Are you saved/practicing meditation?”
This is something that can be asked by people who are checking in on your spiritual or religious journey.
They may ask if you’re “saved” or whether you’re “practicing meditation” and similar questions.
While a humble person might express real interest in somebody’s spiritual journey, they’re not going to phrase it in this kind of pretentious way.
7) “You need to raise your vibrations”
This is the kind of thing said by a sleazy spiritual guru or an egotistical yoga teacher.
Humble people don’t comment on people’s “vibrations,” nor the color of their auras and mental health, for that matter…
If somebody is telling you to “raise your vibrations,” chances are they should look in the mirror first.
8) “I’m the only one who can fix it”
Modest people can be very confident! But they are not likely to say something like the above phrase.
Being the “only” person who can resolve or fix something is a fairly presumptuous statement.
It also seems to beg for attention or validation.
9) “I’m so tired of dealing with incompetent people”
This is a way that arrogant people throw shade when they want to basically call somebody around them incompetent without doing so.
It’s the kind of phrase that demands sympathy or agreement in some way.
Many people are incompetent, it’s true. But expressing frustration in this way just isn’t in the repertoire of a humble person.
10) “I’m right, so deal with it”
Modest people don’t rub it in even if they know they are right and somebody else is wrong.
This phrase is the type of thing that humble people stay far away from.
It’s egotistical and pushy and eliminates the possibility of feedback and collaboration.
11) “Just get out of the way”
Sometimes it is necessary to tell people to clear the way or move.
But humble people don’t speak like this, because they would appreciate more considerateness toward them.
So they give that level of consideration to others as well.
12) “What’s your IQ?”
Asking somebody’s IQ tends to be quite an aggressive and unnecessary question.
Humble people stay away from this kind of confrontational question.
They also know that intelligence is measured in many ways and demanding IQ scores is not only abrasive but also quite immature.
13) “You seriously like that stuff?”
This is another very judgmental and mocking thing to say.
Humble people wouldn’t say something like this.
If somebody humble finds another person’s tastes or style ridiculous they try to keep quiet about it, since they know that we all like things which may seem strange to others at times.
14) “You wouldn’t know what I mean”
Humble people don’t say this kind of thing.
For one thing, if somebody wouldn’t know what they’re talking about then they won’t say it.
And if they do say it then they’ll do their best to explain, rather than preemptively excluding other people from it by seeming so sure they will be too dim to get it.
15) “I used to be like you”
This is not the kind of thing a humble person is going to say.
Talking about formerly being like someone is almost always said in a judgmental and holier-than-thou way.
If you hear somebody saying this, chances are that they’re fairly full of themselves.
16) “You seem lost”
This phrase just reeks of judgmentality and a feeling of superiority.
Somebody really may be lost, but commenting that they seem lost can come off very arrogant.
There are times that this may be a very genuine and true thing to say, even helpful.
But for the most part it’s the kind of phrase that humble people rarely use.
17) “Do you want my honest opinion?”
If somebody is asking this they are basically being fake nice and trying to “spare” somebody else’s feelings.
Humble people don’t use this kind of phrase because it’s disingenuous.
Who doesn’t want somebody’s honest opinion? What’s the alternative, a dishonest opinion? Why would somebody want a dishonest opinion?
18) “That’s an…interesting…way to look at it”
This is another way to throw shade and it’s something that cocky and sardonic people might say.
It’s fairly egotistical and sneaky, and a modest person isn’t likely to say this.
If a modest person finds somebody wrong or their views strange they’ll just be honest that they disagree or don’t quite understand.
19) “You can’t seriously believe that…”
This is a passive-aggressive way to tell somebody that their beliefs or ideas are ridiculous or wrong.
This is not the kind of thing a modest or easygoing person would say.
It’s very confrontational and judgmental.
20) “Okay then”
There’s something about “okay then” which just comes across as “f*ck you.”
Humble people don’t use this kind of phrasing because they aren’t interested in picking fights or being passive-aggressive.
A modest man or woman who disagrees or feels uncomfortable will say so, not quip “okay then.”
Staying low-key
Now and then you may find yourself using some of the phrases above.
In certain contexts they may be an appropriate thing to say.
By and large, however, the above phrases are best to stay away from or minimize, as they can give the impression of being egotistical or full of yourself.
