Lily Gareth
Every relationship goes through its share of disagreements, but it’s the folks with emotional maturity who come out the other side with even stronger connections.
Being emotionally mature means you’ve got the skill for understanding and handling emotions wisely.
If this speaks to you, then you probably never use any of the below 6 phrases during arguments:
1) “Forget about it”
We can all agree that being dismissive of someone’s thoughts and feelings is a key to communication breakdown. It not only hurts your partner or that person on the receiving end and makes them feel unimportant, but it also makes them less likely to open up to you about their concerns or what’s important to them.
Emotionally mature people understand the importance of respect in relationships, so they never resort to such hurtful responses like “forget about it” and “whatever” during arguments (not to mention the juvenile eye roll that usually accompanies those).
Instead, they make an effort to grasp what’s causing the misunderstanding without giving up at the first sign of trouble.
Let’s be real here: it’s childish just to shut down and stop engaging with your partner during sensitive discussions or when conversations get tough.
Relationships take work, and that means being willing to keep an open mind, face challenges head-on, and talk about solutions together.
Being emotionally mature means providing a safe space for communication, even when the waters get murky.
2) “You’re overreacting”
This topic hits close to home for me. Dealing with manipulative partners and family members all my life has taught me that accusing someone of being “overreactive” is a classic gaslighting tactic that derails conversations.
Telling someone “You’re overreacting” or “You’re making a big deal out of nothing” invalidates their feelings and thoughts.
I remember hearing such phrases from my ex whenever I tried to discuss my feelings about our relationship dynamics, which clearly was heading south. He’d often brush it off, saying things like, “Is it that time of the month again?”
It made me feel frustrated and at the same time forced me to question my own emotions. I started doubting if I was actually being unreasonable with my concerns.
Eventually, I realized that some people just lacked emotional maturity and weren’t capable of having deep, meaningful discussions. They simply never put the effort to develop the skill.
So, acknowledging your partner’s emotions and staying curious about the reasons behind their thoughts and feelings is a sign of emotional maturity.
It shows that you’re willing to put in the effort to understand and work through any challenges in the relationship.
3) “I don’t feel like it”
Maturity isn’t just a skill we develop; it’s also a choice we make. Mature individuals don’t shy away from their responsibilities.
They don’t skip tasks or chores just because they’re not in the mood. They understand that even seemingly small things like, keeping the house organized or taking out the trash contribute to their discipline and personal growth.
Think about it: How many times have we groaned at the sound of our alarm, wishing we could just stay in bed? We’re all human, and a paid vacation sounds pretty great. But as mature adults, we recognize the importance of doing our work diligently and fulfilling our responsibilities to reach our goals. It’s all part of the journey towards where we want to be.
Likewise, emotionally mature individuals handle arguments in a responsible manner. Instead of avoiding discussions because they’re not in the mood to deal with uncomfortable feelings, they face the issues head-on.
They understand that addressing conflicts helps maintain clarity and fosters harmony in their relationships with the people they care about.
4) “Shut up”
Let’s get real for a moment: We’ve all been there—those heated business meetings or family discussions on politics where we’ve felt so frustrated that we wished the other person would just zip it.
Now, it’s normal to feel that way, but what emotionally mature individuals steer clear of in arguments is outright telling others to shut up.
Not only is it rude, but it also strips away the speaker’s sense of agency.
Emotionally mature folks keep their cool during arguments and never resort to bullying or name-calling when things start heating up.
5) “I’m sorry you feel that way”
Do you know what’s worse than no apology? A fake one, or what they also call a no-apology apology.
Folks who lack emotional maturity sometimes resort to gaslighting during an argument. It’s like pouring oil on a fire, especially when they pretend to apologize but, truth be told, it’s nothing close to a real apology.
Why?
Well, it’s their slick move to dodge blame and avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes.
But emotionally mature folks own up to their mistakes.
They understand that the first step in healing a strained relationship is offering a heartfelt apology, acknowledging their partner’s feelings, and expressing genuine remorse. It’s a basic truth: To err is human.
Personally, I believe there’s more respect to be found in admitting when we’ve gone wrong, whether it’s with our partner, our boss, or even with ourselves.
6) “It’s my way or the highway”
Emotionally mature folks get why throwing ultimatums around can be a recipe for disaster in relationships.
So, instead of going down that road, they opt for open dialogue and compromise.
Going back down memory lane, I remember my dad being an all-or-nothing kind of guy. Because of a tough upbringing, he used to lack emotional intelligence. That meant that when it came to discussions and arguments, he simply couldn’t humor any opposing thoughts. It was his way or the highway.
A vacation plan for the family would be: “We’re going to the beach, no ifs, ands, or buts!”
But someone who’s emotionally mature would handle things differently.
They’d have a respectful chat, listening to each other’s preferences and finding a destination that works for all.
After all, life is never black or white.
So, if you constantly seek a middle ground in arguments and stir clear from ultimatums to sway your partner, you’re someone who has mastered emotional intelligence.
