Kathy Copeland Padden
Adulting.
We all have to do it, but some people complain about it incessantly. It’s like they got stunted in junior high with all the childish and obnoxious behavior that implies.
Behaving with emotional maturity isn’t always easy — particularly if immature behavior was all you saw during childhood. We can only model the behavior we see every day.
During a heated disagreement, it’s easy to regress and use immature behavior like screaming and name-calling.
It helps to know a few of an emotionally immature woman’s common catchphrases so you can guide the conversation in a more civil direction.
Or run screaming. The choice is yours.
So, without further ado, here are phrases emotionally immature women love to use, according to psychology.
1) “You’ve ruined everything!”
Most emotionally immature women have some serious anger issues.
Since she has trouble regulating her emotions, when something goes awry, no matter how minor, she feels like her entire world is falling apart.
So she overreacts much like a tired child would.
Her emotional reaction to a change of plans or a simple misunderstanding is disproportionate to the situation because she lacks the skills to express her disappointment appropriately.
2) “It’s not my fault”
This is a classic example of a phrase someone who lacks maturity loves to use.
The inevitable result of an immature woman’s inability to accept responsibility will always be attempting to place blame on others.
She is always pointing the finger at anyone or anything but herself. Owning her mistakes wouldn’t even cross her mind, because as far as she’s concerned, she doesn’t make any.
And rest assured, she’ll gladly throw you or anyone else under the bus if it gets the heat off of them. Nothing is more important than maintaining their aura of infallibility that they’re convinced they have.
3) “No one else is going to do it, so it looks like it’s on me”
Woot, woot! We have a martyr in our midst!
An immature woman believes they’re the only person who can fix the issue at hand, whether that’s true or not. But that’s her story and she’s sticking to it.
She’s coming to save the day from you lazy, inept mouthbreathers. Stand aside, please.
So it’s safe to say people like this have a rather inflated opinion of themselves, which is arrogant on top of being immature.
Not the most winning of combinations, but don’t tell them that. They wouldn’t believe you anyway, or they’d find a way to blame you for their crummy behavior.
4) “No time like the present!”
With an immature woman, this is not taking the initiative, it’s acting impulsively with little thought given to other people’s feelings.
Why should she consider anyone else, anyway?
The world and everything in it revolves around her. She doesn’t stop to consider the consequences before she acts because no one ever makes her.
The people around her tend to let her be the boss just to dodge the drama. But if you get fed up and push back she turns into the Tasmanian Devil.
A two-year-old throwing a tantrum in Target has nothing on her.
Emotionally immature people tend to act on impulse—particularly emotions fueled by negativity. So feelings like anger, hurt, and embarrassment are powerful catalysts for even more powerful meltdowns.
5) “I’m fine, you’re the one with the problem”
This particular bit of word vomit’s purpose is to make the other person believe they’re the only one feeling upset or confused.
According to psychology, this is a gaslighting tactic that emotionally immature women utilize to shift the blame from themselves to their partner or someone else.
The inference is that they are calm, cool, and collected and have no idea why you’re acting unstable or irrational.
6) “I never get what I want!”
So she’ll whine and pout and cry until everyone in her orbit is stressed out and exhausted.
In case it’s not obvious, having fits is an ineffective and unhealthy coping mechanism.
But it is also quite effective because partners will often cave to this passive-aggressive behavior and give in to unreasonable demands simply to restore peace in the relationship.
7) “It’s my way or the highway”
I might be aging myself again here, but when dinosaurs ruled the earth “my way or the highway” was a very popular expression. It also sums up the attitude of an emotionally immature woman perfectly.
Someone who insists that their method of doing things is the only right one and refuses to even entertain suggestions is not only immature but completely exhausting to deal with.
That level of rigidity is obviously annoying and her inability to compromise displays a bottom-tier level of emotional intelligence.
8) “I didn’t know it was that important”
I remember asking my ex to bring a time-sensitive document to the post office (that he drove by every day) and finding the envelope still in his car a week later because he didn’t think it was that important.
And rather than just apologizing, he valiantly tried to justify his (in)actions and doubled-down on his not knowing it was urgent.
I should’ve walked right then and there.
So, whatever the “it” was they neglected to do, it was undoubtedly necessary. An immature person uses this phrase as a cop-out when they ignore their responsibilities.
9) “I’m so stressed out!”
Bouncing back from life’s little roadblocks isn’t always easy.
Relationship experts suggest that how a woman responds to challenges can tell you a lot regarding their emotional maturity.
If a woman is always stressed about the state of her relationship or issues at work even when things are going relatively well, you can bet that when a truly stressful situation pops up they’ll flip out and shut down.
10) *Unintelligible yelling and screaming*
OK, it’s not exactly a phrase, but emotionally immature people are known to scream and cry when they’re frustrated, which is most of the time.
Sadly enough, experts explain they probably behave this way since they’ve gone through life not feeling heard. Because they were never taught, they don’t know how to listen to others.
11) *Crickets*
Ah, the good old silent treatment.
Stonewalling, if you will.
This is probably the most frustrating of all immature responses, and, according to research, is among the most damaging to your relationships.
When another grownup comes to you with a valid concern and you refuse to engage because you just don’t want to deal with it, this is a major red flag to other people.
Giving someone the silent treatment devalues them and their needs. By stonewalling them, they have no avenue to communicate the things that are troubling them.
This behavior is so toxic to relationships that it often causes relationships to permanently break down beyond repair, and can even prove harmful to your physical health.
Final thoughts
Even though maturing is a lifelong process for most people, it’s important to point out that some people are dealing with additional challenges.
For example, neurodivergent people have their own communication styles or respond to outside stimuli differently.
And that’s OK.
With compassion, we can encourage growth in ourselves and others, and be kind enough to meet people where they are, not where we think they should be.
