Classy women are confident women, and they’re not just confident in the way they dress or look—they’re also confident in the way they speak.
They know what they need, and they put their needs first. They have great ideas, and they’re not afraid to express them.
This is why they have removed these words from their vocabulary, because they know that they’re smart, great people whom the world needs to take more seriously.
Want to know the 9 phrases classy women have removed from their vocab? Read on to learn more!
1) “Um…” “like…” “so…”
Filler words are unsophisticated and unprofessional. This is why classy women avoid saying these often.
Filler words are usually used as verbal crutches that you use when you’re trying to think of what to say next. It also signals a lack of confidence in speaking.
In order to avoid using them, try thinking of what you want to say in advance. Practicing with a friend can also help.
Remember that practice makes perfect, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re not able to completely remove filler words from your vocabulary overnight. Becoming a classy, respected woman is no easy feat, so it’s okay for you to take your time!
Similarly, saying “did that make sense?” also show a lack of confidence.
2) “Did that make sense?”
A classy woman does not doubt herself, and is very well-spoken.
When she expresses her thoughts and opinions, she doesn’t punctuate it with, “did that make sense?”
Why is this?
Well, saying this phrase might seem like an innocent way to get a response and make sure you’re understood, but it actually shows that you’re not confident enough to be sure in your opinions.
Instead of saying this, if you want to engage the person or people you’re talking to or if you simply want to make sure they got what you’re saying, say “understood?” instead.
Don’t worry about it being rude, because it’s not—it actually shows authority, and people who are in authority are highly respected.
The same thing goes with saying you don’t know, because it also shows a lack of confidence.
3) “…but I don’t know”
When a classy woman gives advice or expresses an opinion, she doesn’t end her sentences with “…but I don’t know.”
Of course, it’s perfectly fine to say you don’t know when you’re asked something and you actually don’t know the answer. It’s better to admit you don’t know than pretend you do and end up getting it wrong, but this is not the case we’re talking about.
When you’re giving advice and you punctuate it with “I don’t know” in the end, it shows a lack of confidence.
By saying this, you’re giving up your authority over the conversation. You’re already conceding without knowing if you’re right or wrong.
Instead, try saying “here’s my idea,” express your thoughts, and say that you’re still open to other ideas in the end. This shows that you’re a confident, classy woman, but not so cocky to be closed off from hearing other people’s thoughts.
4) “I’m sorry”
Women are pre-programmed to be apologetic. In a society that constantly tries to tell us we have no place in it, we’re taught to say sorry even just for existing.
But classy, confident women have learned not to be apologetic—and this is why they have stopped saying sorry.
Stop saying sorry for saying no to plans, for having and expressing your feelings. Stop saying sorry for “talking too much,” for having a wealth of ideas. Stop saying sorry when you ask for help.
In short: women should stop saying sorry for being human.
So when you express your needs and show your humanity, don’t be apologetic. You’re meant to have space in this world—take it up unapologetically.
5) “This might be a terrible idea, but…”
Classy women don’t preface their ideas by saying it’s terrible.
This is because a classy woman knows she is smart, and she knows she has some good ideas to bring to the table. She knows that by saying that her ideas are silly or terrible, she’s not protecting herself from rejection—she’s setting herself up for it.
That’s why, even with the fear of not being taken seriously, she expresses her ideas confidently even when her male co-workers tell her they’re ridiculous.
She’s not afraid of being called stupid, because she knows this has no truth. She knows that by telling everyone her ideas are terrible, she’s already agreeing with men who tell her she’s stupid before her thoughts are even heard.
6) “Just wondering…”
When a classy woman asks a question, she doesn’t start it with, “just wondering…” Instead, she simply asks the question without it.
This is because “just” makes your questions and ideas seem unimportant. Similarly, by saying phrases such as “I’m just saying,” or “It’s just that,” you’re making yourself smaller for the comfort of others, which sets you up for failure.
By removing “just” from your vocabulary, your words will be so much more confident, which, in turn, will give you a boost of confidence, too.
Instead of saying: “I’m just saying that it’s rude to talk over others while they’re saying something important.”
She says: “I’m saying that it’s rude to talk over others while they’re saying something important.”
The second one sounds so much better, doesn’t it?
If you’re struggling with confidence, it might be appealing to keep using the first example because the second seems rude. However, remember that it’s not rude to assert authority over situations you should have control over.
7) “Would you mind if I…”
At face value, “would you mind if I…” sounds like a harmless, polite way of asking for something. When interacting with strangers in public, it can actually be pretty useful.
While classy women are definitely polite and respectful, they don’t say “would you mind if I…” when they’re expressing their needs, especially in the workplace.
Instead of saying: “Would you mind if I take a break?”
She says: “I need to take a break.”
It’s not rude to tell people what you need. By asking them if they “mind” giving you your fundamental needs as a woman, you’re putting yourself at the mercy of others who want to step on you. Your fear of being rude is holding you back from asserting your authority.
Likewise, ending your sentences with “no problem if not!” does the same effect.
8) “No problem if not!”
A classy woman makes her needs a priority.
So when you express your needs, don’t end them with “no problem if not!” especially if there will be a problem if your needs remain unfulfilled.
If you’re sick and need to take a leave, don’t tell your boss, “I need to take a sick leave, but no problem if not!” because you’re basically telling them your work is more important than you or your health.
If you need back the money that someone borrowed from you, don’t say “Can you please give back the money you borrowed? No problem if not, though!” because there is a problem, especially if you won’t be able to pay for your bills if they don’t pay you.
Do you see it?
By saying “no problem,” you’re not putting your needs a priority. You’re saying that it’s no biggie if your needs aren’t fulfilled for the convenience of others.
9) “I hate myself”
In a society that constantly sets more and more unrealistic expectations for women, it becomes so easy for a woman to hate herself. This is why classy women have stopped saying “I hate myself,” especially to themselves.
Said something you regret? “Ugh, I hate myself for saying that!”
Did something embarrassing? “Why did I do that? I hate myself!”
Unable to foresee something bad happening? “I hate myself for not seeing that!”
Classy women have removed these from their vocabulary because everyone makes mistakes. The world is already unforgiving for women, which is why it’s important for us to afford each other—especially ourselves—a bit of slack when you make mistakes.
Don’t hate yourself for not being able to do what you could’ve done better—instead, acknowledge your mistakes, forgive yourself, and use what you learned to do better in the future.