Isabella Chase
Lovebombing, a common tactic used by narcissists, involves showering someone with affection and compliments to manipulate their feelings.
Psychologists say there are certain phrases narcissists use when lovebombing you. Recognizing these can help you spot a lovebombing attempt early on.
It’s time to arm yourself with knowledge and protect your emotions.
1) “You’re perfect”
Let’s start with one of the most common phrases narcissists use when they’re trying to lovebomb you.
“You’re perfect.” Just like that, out of the blue. Sounds flattering, right?
This phrase is a classic lovebombing tactic.
It’s meant to make you feel special, and it often works. After all, who doesn’t want to hear that they’re perfect?
However, this phrase isn’t honest praise. It’s a manipulation tool.
Narcissists use it to make you feel special, so they can then use your gratitude and affection to control you.
It’s a psychological trick designed to make you more dependent on their approval and less likely to challenge them or leave.
By recognizing this phrase for what it is, you can start to protect yourself from the manipulative tactics of a narcissist.
2) “I’ve never felt this way before”
Another phrase often used by narcissists is “I’ve never felt this way before”.
This one hit home for me, as I encountered it in a past relationship.
In the whirlwind of the early stages, my partner would constantly tell me how different I was, how he’d never felt so strongly for someone so quickly.
It was intense and, honestly, pretty flattering.
But as the relationship progressed, I realized it was a manipulation tactic.
This phrase wasn’t a confession of love; it was a way to make me feel extraordinary and irreplaceable.
It made me feel like I was the only person who could make him happy.
This rush of emotion is part of the lovebombing process. It’s meant to sweep you off your feet while blinding you to potential red flags.
3) “We’re soulmates”
The term “soulmate” sounds like something out of a fairy tale. It’s romantic, intense, and dreamy.
However, when a narcissist uses the phrase “We’re soulmates”, it’s often not about romance or destiny at all.
This phrase is typically used to create a sense of deep connection and exclusivity.
It paints a picture of a unique bond that no one else can understand or interfere with.
However, behind this seemingly passionate declaration lies a strategic move.
By convincing you that you’re soulmates, the narcissist creates an environment where questioning their actions feels like questioning fate itself.
According to relationship experts, this is a common tactic used by narcissists to keep their partners unquestioning and compliant.
4) “I can’t live without you”
This phrase might sound like the ultimate expression of love and devotion, but it’s a red flag when it comes from a narcissist.
“I can’t live without you” creates an immediate and heavy sense of responsibility on your part.
It sets up a dynamic where you feel obligated to stay with them, whether out of guilt, fear, or misplaced loyalty.
Narcissists use this phrase to bind their partners to them emotionally.
It’s a clever manipulation tactic that appeals to your empathy and compassion.
Healthy relationships are about mutual respect and freedom, not emotional blackmail.
Recognizing this phrase for what it is can help you maintain your boundaries and protect your emotional health.
5) “You’re the only one who understands me”
Narcissists often use the phrase “You’re the only one who understands me” to create a sense of intimacy and exclusivity.
It’s a powerful statement, designed to make you feel special and needed.
However, it can also isolate you from others and make you more emotionally dependent on the narcissist.
This phrase is a manipulation tool aimed at making you feel like you have an essential role in their life.
It can make it harder for you to leave or set boundaries, because you feel like they need you.
It’s healthy to have multiple supportive relationships in our lives.
If someone tells you that you’re the only one who understands them, it’s worth considering why that might be and whether it’s a sign of manipulative behavior.
6) “I would do anything for you”
When a narcissist says, “I would do anything for you”, it can feel like a heartwarming promise of unconditional love.
This phrase is loaded with emotion and commitment.
It’s designed to make you feel deeply valued and cared for, which in turn makes you more likely to overlook their less desirable behaviors.
However, actions speak louder than words. If a narcissist’s actions don’t match their grand declarations of devotion, that’s a clear sign that they’re using this phrase as a manipulation tool.
It’s okay to feel moved by such words, but don’t let them cloud your judgment.
Always look at actions over words when discerning someone’s true intentions.
7) “I’ve changed for you”
“I’ve changed for you” – a phrase that holds so much promise and hope.
It’s something I’ve heard before, and it made me believe that the person I was with was willing to grow and adapt for the sake of our relationship.
However, change is a personal journey.
True change comes from within, not because of someone else.
Narcissists often use this phrase to convince their partners that they’re invested in the relationship.
It’s designed to make you feel guilty or obliged to stay because of the ‘effort’ they’ve put into changing themselves.
Real change is consistent and doesn’t need to be constantly pointed out.
If someone truly changes, you’ll see it in their actions, not just hear it in their words.
8) “You’re too good for me”
This phrase can seem like a humble admission or even a compliment, but when it comes from a narcissist, it’s often anything but.
“You’re too good for me” is a clever tactic that plays on your empathy.
It can make you feel special, while also making you more inclined to overlook their flaws or misbehaviors.
The hidden message behind this phrase is often: “You’re so good, you should accept my bad behavior.”
It subtly shifts the blame onto you, making you feel like you’re the one who needs to be more understanding or forgiving.
Everyone deserves respect and kindness in a relationship.
No matter how “good” you are, it doesn’t excuse someone else’s poor behavior.
9) “I’ve never told anyone this before”
When a narcissist says, “I’ve never told anyone this before,” it can feel like they’re trusting you with their deepest secrets. It creates a sense of intimacy and closeness.
However, this phrase is often used to manipulate you into feeling special and trusted.
It’s a strategy to make you feel like you share a unique bond, which in turn makes you more invested in the relationship.
Genuine trust is built over time and through consistent actions, not just words.
If someone uses this phrase too soon or too often, it might be a sign of manipulation rather than true intimacy.
10) “I love you”
Yes, even the most sacred of phrases can be used for manipulation.
When a narcissist says “I love you”, it isn’t always about genuine affection.
Narcissists often use this phrase to control and bind you to them.
It’s a powerful phrase that can make you overlook red flags and dismiss your doubts.
If the person saying “I love you” isn’t demonstrating these qualities, then it’s time to question the sincerity behind their words.
Final thoughts
Love should be about mutual respect, understanding, and growth. It’s not about manipulation or control.
Keep these phrases in mind, reflect on them, and trust your instincts when something doesn’t feel right.
Because at the end of the day, you deserve a relationship that’s built on genuine affection and respect, not manipulation.
