Pearl Nash
Women with integrity are hard to find.
It’s no surprise that some pretend to have integrity even when, at closer investigation, they have none.
If you’ve ever wondered if you’re a woman with integrity, check out how many of these traits you possess.
1) You’re authentic
Simply put, your inside matches your outside.
That is to say, you don’t pretend to be someone you’re not—not to please others or win their respect, and most especially not to fit in with the others around you.
You know who you are, and you think for yourself. You keep an ear open and listen to what others might say but you never compromise who you are.
So when people meet you, they never have to guess who you truly are.
Everything about you—from the way you dress, to the way you talk and the way you think— are genuinely your own.
2) You’re not scared to speak your truth
You aren’t afraid to say what you need to say. You don’t say white lies or shut your mouth, even if it’s to make yourself look better or to spare others’ feelings.
But at the same time you don’t subscribe to this whole “brutally honest” thing.
You know that it is possible to be honest and truthful without being unnecessarily cruel, and you know you’re not a sadistic monster who likes to see others hurt.
Rather, you’re just not afraid to share your life experiences, your honest opinions, and your true feelings because you believe that everyone should be honest and open anyways.
3) You don’t use your gender to manipulate others
There are women who try to get whatever they want by abusing their “I’m a woman” card.
Perhaps they want to get extra perks, to get away with something they did, or even just to win a conversation and shut the other person down.
But not you—if anything, the very notion angers you.
It’s not like you’re ignorant of how society doesn’t treat women fairly. In fact, you wish for and strive for gender equality.
And you’re well aware of how abusing your gender will only take away from its power and make people less likely to treat you seriously when you actually do need to bring it up.
4) You’re honest even if you can get away with a lie
Nobody would miss it if you decided to pick a flower off someone’s garden when nobody’s watching, or to talk about how you totally love wine even if you’re not truly a fan.
But even though you know you can easily get away doing these things, you don’t do any of them. You don’t lie, cheat, or steal just because there’s nobody watching.
You’re committed to simply not lying in any way whatsoever, even if it feels inconsequential or when you know you can easily get away with it.
5) You don’t give promises you can’t keep
You don’t believe this whole “fake it ‘till you make it” thing. If you’re not sure that you can’t do something, then you simply say so and don’t commit to it.
The last thing you want is to make a promise only to disappoint those who might be counting on you to deliver.
On the other hand, when you do know you can do it and say “yes”, you try really hard to make sure that you’re keeping your word, no matter how big or small that promise actually is.
6) You carry your own weight
A person with integrity doesn’t want to be a burden to others.
When you’re given an assignment at work, you do it even if you’re tired and struggling with personal issues.
For you, it’s the same as keeping a promise. You do what you’re supposed to do because it’s your responsibility. You know that if you won’t do it, no one else will.
And this applies to other areas in your life, as well. You try to be independent financially and emotionally not just because it’s cool, but because you know it’s your duty. You know that as an adult, you’re solely responsible for yourself.
7) You’re guided by your values
You have values, and whatever those values may be, you rely on them to guide your actions and decisions.
These values are important to you and you will never betray or compromise them no matter what—not even if it would suddenly make your life a thousand times easier.
You would rather suffer your way to mediocrity rather than take an easy ride to fortune if it would mean betraying yourself.
And this means people find you reliable and trustworthy. Whatever decisions you make, people can trust that it was made with your values in mind.
8) You don’t keep changing your mind
As a woman of integrity you stick by your guns—you don’t just change your mind on a dime.
You won’t break up with someone only to come running back to them the day after, for example.
You’re well aware that your decisions and words can and will affect the people around you, so you don’t just announce that you’ll do something only to immediately say “oops, I changed my mind!”
When you do change your mind, it would only be because there is a good reason for it, and only after much deliberation.
There might have been something you weren’t aware of when you made your decision, for example, and you were only informed after your announcement.
9) You’re faithful no matter what
So let’s say you’re starting to lose feelings for your boyfriend. You don’t cheat on him even if he’s become the biggest jerk you know…and even if the new guy is everything you could ever ask for. Instead, you break up first. In fact, you won’t even break up without talking things through because you value your relationship.
You know feelings change and that relationships end…but you do it right.
For you, cheating is a crime and never in your life did you consider doing it. You have too much respect for people—even the ones who you think don’t deserve it.
10) You acknowledge your mistakes
We all make mistakes, no matter how much we try to avoid them. We all end up hurting others sometimes, no matter how much we try not to.
It would be easy enough to pretend you did nothing wrong, and indeed most people do. It’s easier to just sweep one’s problems under the rug, or to shrug and say “I did my best, I’m only human.”
But not you, because even though it might sting to admit that you messed up or that you hurt someone even though you didn’t mean to, the very idea chafes on you.
So you admit your mistakes, apologize, and then try to learn to do better.
11) You don’t use others
You don’t try to befriend people thinking things like “what will this person contribute to my life?”
Instead you befriend people just because you vibe together and enjoy one another’s presence. You don’t think of people like they’re just objects—assets and liabilities whose lives you can just play with.
Sure, you might ask for help from your friends sometimes, but that’s a very different thing. You don’t stop being someone’s friend just because they’re no longer useful to you, and you don’t befriend someone just because you think they can give you clout or connections.
12) You don’t flatter people
You want your interactions to be genuine.
You can’t stand people who shower people with praise only to immediately badmouth them or roll their eyes the moment that person leaves.
For you, it’s enough to be polite and nice. Admiration is great, but only if it’s genuine and without strings attached.
Some people “plant seeds” on other people—they invest in them by making them feel good about themselves—because they know they can use them later on. But not you. You want to remain true.
13) You give credit where credit is due
You don’t snub someone who compliments your work, even if doing so will make you look “confident” and high-brow. You would acknowledge them with a smile and a heartfelt thanks.
And when you present something that you did with a team, you will go to great lengths to make sure that everyone who ever worked on that thing is properly credited.
Stealing credit is still theft, after all, and the last thing you want is to live an unethical life.
14) You accept criticism
There are people who immediately get prickly at the smallest perceived sliver of negativity. It’s understandable, of course—it’s just human nature to feel defensive.
But you would tamp any emotions you might have and try to see first if it’s legitimate criticism or if people are simply being haters and are trying to tear you down.
And when it’s valid criticism, you would look past how aggressively worded it might be to see what you can learn from it so that you can grow and do better.
After all, it’s through criticism that we get to know our weaknesses and mistakes and from there improve ourselves.
But as for raw insults—like shaming you for your body, sexuality, age, or hobbies—you know better than to take them seriously and will happily block, chastise, or ignore the haters.
15) You don’t use your charm to win at life
And that’s because the very idea of using your charm to take advantage of people disgusts you.
You hate seeing girls flaunt their bodies or flirt with their superiors to get better ratings, a raise, or even a promotion—things that you’re sure they don’t even deserve.
When you try to win at life, you do it honestly. If you want a raise, you work harder. If you want a promotion, you make sure you’re doing everything right. If you want a boyfriend, you try to win him over with who you truly are.
Final words
It’s hard to be a woman with integrity in this world of ours. Dishonest people will always have an advantage so long as they are not caught. And on top of that, society doesn’t really treat women fairly.
It’s no surprise that women of integrity are so hard to find—they simply don’t have a choice, not if they want to live comfortably.
But that’s why women who stick by their guns and hold fast to their values are so special. Despite all of the disadvantages the world bears down on them, they stay honest and true.
