Sarah Piluden-Natu-El
First things first, let’s clear the air: What defines a good family?
It’s a very subjective concept and one that is influenced by many factors.
So, really, there’s no clear-cut answer to this question.
But for the purpose of this list, let’s just say that a “good family” means one that provides a stable and supportive environment.
In this list, we look at the 13 common personality traits often associated with growing up in a nurturing family setting.
Dive in and see which ones resonate with you!
1) You’re emotionally intelligent
If you’re good at navigating your emotions and understanding others, you have your emotionally savvy family to thank for that.
Here’s what a recent study has uncovered:
Kids mirror the emotional traits they see in their parents, shaping their emotional intelligence.
And it gets even more interesting:
The study highlights that if a child sees that their mom is great at managing her feelings, the child will likely feel emotionally solid themselves.
So, if you haven’t already, thank your mom and the rest of your family for contributing to your emotional smarts!
2) You bounce back higher than you fall
Remember how your parents cheered you on? Or how your siblings always had your back?
It turns out that the solidarity you experienced in a supportive family contributed to your impressive skill of handling the struggles that come your way.
According to experts, the unwavering support and shared sense of responsibility in families all contribute to an individual’s resilience.
So that inner strength that helps you rise after every fall? That’s more than just a positive trait. It’s also a beautiful reflection of the positive dynamics within your family.
3) You’re adaptable
As quickly as you pick yourself up, you can also promptly pivot to adjust to new conditions.
This adaptability can again be a consequence of having a family that navigates challenges together.
If you grew up in a home like this, you probably notice that you’re not scared of change, knowing you have what it takes to handle them.
4) Your moral compass is unshakeable
Doing the right thing even if no one is looking is an undeniable sign that you grew up in a good family.
But don’t just take my word for it. Let’s turn to the experts for guidance:
Developmental psychologist Dr Price-Mitchell notes that children aren’t born with integrity.
Instead, she says that one’s good character is influenced by many social and cultural factors, but she emphasizes that this all begins with family.
Think about it:
You most likely saw integrity in action at home every day, and this is why you have become the upstanding person you are now.
5) You have a sunny disposition
The warmth and stability you received from your family could be key to you being a glass-half-full kind of person.
Here’s why:
A recent study links a strong family support system to a greater sense of optimism.
It suggests that the stronger your family bonds were and the more positive reinforcements you received while growing up, the more positive your outlook on life is.
6) You have a healthy sense of self-confidence
You know you’re not perfect, but you also know your strengths and your worth. This confidence level could be attributed to your parents, who weren’t overly strict.
Need more details?
Researchers asked 339 pairs of parents and their grown-up kids to answer questions about what their family life is like.
What they found was interesting:
Overbearing parents ended up with less confident kids.
On the other hand, parents who weren’t too strict and talked openly with their children had kids who felt more confident in their abilities.
If you loved how lenient your parents were then, I’m sure you’d love it even more after learning this. Right?
7) You stand up for yourself and your rights
But wait, there’s more:
What if I told you that your parents’ less controlling methods may have also helped you learn to speak up for yourself effectively?
Again, let’s look at the research around this:
A study published in 2020 found that young people are less likely to stick up for themselves if they had a mom who tried to control everything or a dad who didn’t show them much warmth or acceptance.
Your assertiveness is clearly a testament to your balanced upbringing, courtesy of your mother’s gentle support and your father’s emotional availability.
8) You are kind
Repeated behaviors become a habit.
If you grow up in a family where everyone shows acts of kindness, you learn to do the same, too. This means you’re likely to pick compassion as an automatic response to everyone.
On the contrary, those who grew up without role models of kindness may not learn how to express this, nor would they understand its value.
Your kindness can signify that your family values looking out for others, helping those in need, and considering the feelings of people around you.
9) You never half-bake anything
Speaking of habits, your conscientiousness is also telling of your good family background.
Let me explain:
If you had parents and caregivers who provided structure, valued hard work, and set expectations for behavior, you more likely incorporated them into your everyday life.
Your family set the example, and without even realizing it, you’ve learned to behave in the same way, too.
10) You have a forgiving heart
When you’re from a family that’s quick to forgive each other and are always ready to move on after arguments, that forgiving nature rubs off on you.
In fact, there’s a very recent educational research that tackles this.
Although it doesn’t directly draw the connection between family and the ability to forgive, it suggests that learning early about forgiveness does wonders.
The results show that kids and teenagers who were taught about the principles and benefits of forgiveness – whether in school or at home – are more likely to be forgiving as adults.
11) You’re all about healthy boundaries
Having healthy boundaries and respecting other people’s boundaries often means you were raised in a family that taught you the importance of personal space and respect.
It’s simple, really:
If you’re good at setting limits for yourself and honoring other people’s boundaries, it’s probably because your family gave you a clear understanding of what’s okay and what’s not.
A good family will teach you to recognize your own comfort levels and make sure you know it’s okay to say ‘no’ when you need to.
And that’s not all:
They also make sure you get that it’s important to accept ‘no’ from others without making a big deal about it.
It’s about mutual respect and treating people the way you want to be treated. – An important life lesson coming from an exemplary family.
12) You have remarkable discipline
Although self-discipline is an individual trait, it’s something that you learn over time. And a lot of it comes from how your family set rules when you were growing up.
According to clinical psychologist Laura Markham, it works like this:
When your family sets clear rules and you follow them, you’re learning to put off what you want for something better later. And that’s a big part of self-discipline.
She also makes one key point:
If your family sets rules with kindness and understanding, you are more likely to be naturally self-disciplined.
What does this mean?
She explains because your family helped you see why rules are good for you, you end up following the rules because you choose to and not just because you have to.
So in a nutshell, your self-discipline is a result of your willpower, but your family also played a part in developing it.
13) You are ambitious and driven
You know that fire inside you that pushes you to go after what you want?
That’s you being a dreamer. But that’s also you coming from a family that always rooted for you.
Think it through:
Did your family ever say, ‘You can’t’ or ‘That’s too big for you’? I bet they didn’t.
Instead, you may have grown up hearing ‘Why don’t you?’, ‘Let’s figure out how you can do it,’ or ‘Anything is possible’, right?
That’s because nurturing families like yours don’t put walls around their member’s potential.
Instead, they try to build each other up.
The bottom line
And that’s a wrap – 13 traits commonly seen in people who grew up in what many would call a “good” family.
But let’s be honest:
This list is far from exhaustive nor definitive.
Remember that your story is uniquely yours, and your personality traits are a sum of your upbringing and experiences.
So, whether you see yourself in some of these traits or not, I hope you walk away with some food for thought and a better understanding of yourself and maybe even others.
