Pearl Nash
Some men seem to be naturally likable.
But the thing is that when you inspect closer, they’re actually just very… ordinary!
They look perfectly average and struggle with their careers like the rest of us.
So why do girls fall head over heels in love with them? How come they’re so beloved by their friends?
As cliche as it may be, it’s their personality!
Here are 12 personality traits that make a man highly desirable.
1) He has zero “male ego”
He doesn’t believe that the world revolves around him, so he doesn’t take it personally when things don’t go his way.
When he gets rejected by a job he applied to, for example, he won’t go “How dare they! Don’t they see my worth?!”
Instead, he’d just shrug and move on. If they can’t see what he’s worth, then he probably won’t enjoy working there in the first place.
And he’s like this with personal interactions, too.
You don’t have to worry about him losing his temper or nursing a grudge because you told him some bad news or made him feel “emasculated” for one reason or another.
At the same time, you can also give him praise without worrying that it’s going to get to his head and blow his ego out of proportion.
2) He knows when to say “No”
It doesn’t matter to him that his colleague is sexy and obviously into him. If he’s married, he’ll turn her down.
And it doesn’t matter to him how much fun he’s having—if he feels like he’s hit his limit with alcohol and really needs to go home, he’ll tell his friends “no” when they offer another glass of drink.
It’s tempting to always say “yes” to the things we like, especially if we think we can get away with it.
The reason why a man who can say “no” is so desirable is because it shows that he has plenty of strength to spare.
3) He knows how to persevere
He’s not the kind of person who—at the first sign of trouble—would throw up both hands and go “welp! I tried!”
If he wants to learn how to play guitar, he’s not going to just stop because he doesn’t feel like he’s gotten “better” after a week of practice—no, he’ll forge ahead.
And that’s because he knows that nothing that’s worth his while will ever come easy—that life is more like a marathon than a quick sprint.
Things might even get rough for him— and the end might be nowhere in sight— but he nonetheless marches on.
This applies to any endeavor he commits to—from hobbies, to work, to relationships.
4) He’s gentle and sensitive
A lot of men think that they need to be tough to be likable…and that they shouldn’t be gentle and sensitive because that’s “gay” or “girly.”
And you know what?
That’s just plain, unadulterated BS. Only weak, immature men think that way.
Think about it. What does it say about someone if they think that acting like a horrible person is the only way they can be liked?
The truth is that most people (especially women) don’t like tough guys. They want men who are genuinely gentle and sensitive—those who are kind and mindful of how others feel.
So if you’re a man and you want more people to like you, then you have to quit the “Mr. Tough Guy” persona.
5) He’s in touch with his emotions
I’ll just say this straight.
Women won’t think that a guy’s a total hottie because a sad movie didn’t make them cry, or because they kept a stone-cold face after hearing some bad news.
What most people want is a man who’s in touch with his emotions.
Someone who feels the whole spectrum of emotions—joy, anger, jealousy, fear—and knows how to process and express them healthily.
People want a man who has no difficulty expressing how they truly feel.
Men like these make for good friends and amazing partners.
Their friends can relate to them better, and the fact that they can identify and manage their emotions puts their partners at ease.
6) He knows how to talk and listen
Good communication skills make people instantly desirable. This goes double for men who, more often than not, have trouble with the whole “listening” bit.
People want a man who listens with both ears and respects the intelligence of the people they’re talking to.
A man who knows when to speak and when to shut up, and one who chooses his words carefully.
And most of all, if he sees that there’s something that needs to be talked about—like if he’s bothered by something his best friend did—he won’t hesitate to reach out and talk things through.
7) He can sense how others feel
Words are only a small part of communication as a whole, of course. Nonverbal cues—that is, body language—are pretty d*mn important.
And a man who knows that he should pay attention to and understand body language is definitely more desirable than someone who doesn’t.
He would try to understand if everything is okay if he notices that you’ve been slouching more than usual, for example.
And if he notices that someone’s been keeping their distance during dinner, he’ll try to find out if that person wants to be left alone for some reason.
And this is one of the reasons why he’s well-loved—he can sense what others are feeling, and he’d make sure they feel just a bit better.
8) He has integrity
That is to say, you can trust that he’ll be true to his words and to his values even when things start getting dicey.
He’ll always speak the truth, even if he knows it’s going to hurt him.
You don’t even need to ask him to keep your secrets private—he isn’t going to go around talking about the things you shared in public without asking you first.
And when he makes a promise, you can guarantee he will do whatever it takes to fulfill it.
9) He’s brave but not reckless
Men are known to randomly (and senselessly) put themselves in danger just to show that they’re “tough”, “manly”, and “brave”.
Some think picking fights with people or poking an alligator is a good idea. They’d even wrestle a bear given the opportunity!
Bravery is a virtue, but there’s a difference between being brave and being a reckless showoff.
The kind of man that people actually enjoy being around with is one who is brave and yet doesn’t feel a need to show off.
Instead he focuses on the things that truly matter—things such as moving to a place, giving love a second chance, starting a new company, and pursuing a seemingly “impossible” goal.
10) He’s a man of action
That is to say, he doesn’t just sit around wallowing in his misery or doing nothing but waste his time. He actually gets sh*t done.
Instead of spending all day going “I wish I knew how to draw” for example, he’d go take a pen, watch guides, and practice.
A lot of men love to talk and talk, but very few are actually willing to go and DO things.
It’s rare to see people who actually pursue things and follow through with their ambitions. That’s why men who are “doers” are highly desirable.
11) He remains humble even after achieving success
Some men are painful to be around with.
Maybe they won a 200-meter sprint once and all of a sudden they’re telling everyone about it as if people are supposed to feel inspired by their success.
Even worse is that they usually end up changing their entire personality as if that one success story defines their entire existence.
And here’s the thing—nobody enjoys hanging out with people who act like this.
People would rather hang around a man who can achieve success over and over again without letting it get to his head.
A man becomes highly desirable if he can remain sane and humble instead of getting high off his own fumes.
12) He’s open-minded and curious
He doesn’t talk down on things that he doesn’t care about or has trouble understanding.
Instead, he gets curious!
He’s always trying to know, to understand, and to see the world from an entirely different perspective.
And he’s very happy to accept that he might have been wrong instead of digging his heels and insisting that he’s always right.
It’s not just about ideas either.
He’s open-minded and compassionate enough not to look down on the poor, the homeless, or even the perpetually drunk.
He doesn’t know their story, so who is he to judge?
A man like this is a joy to be around. By having this trait alone, you can be sure that he won’t get into drama and trouble. Instead, he’d learn more from others and strengthen connections.
Final thoughts
It’s not money, looks, or “masculinity” that makes a man.
In fact, men who care too much about these three things often end up being generally disliked by everyone else.
So what makes a man desirable? What traits can turn a seemingly ordinary person into someone that woman swoon after?
The answer is simple at its core—kindness, integrity, and a willingness to learn and listen.
So if you’re a man reading this and you want to be a bit more likable, don’t just work on your looks and your career. Make sure you develop your personality, too.
And if you’re a woman who’s lucky to have found a highly desirable man, treat him right and never let him go.
