Have you found someone you really like? Do you think they could be the one?
But wait, are you scared you might screw things up?
If you have a lot of relationships behind you, you may be worried that you’re the reason that they didn’t work out.
So how can you know?
Well, it turns out that there are certain personality traits that can make or break a relationship.
Read on to find out what they are!
Look, the truth is that without honesty, your relationship doesn’t really stand a chance.
That’s because honesty is the foundation of any happy and healthy relationship.
If you’re someone who is loyal, tells the truth, and is sincere in everything you do, then you’re off to a good start.
However, if you like to lie to your partner, if you’re deceitful or manipulative to get your way, then I’m afraid you’re going to have to change your ways or accept that this could be another in a long line of failed relationships.
No one wants to be with someone they can’t trust and no one wants to feel like they’re being played.
2) Good communication skills
Having good communication skills means that you’re able to express yourself clearly so that there’s no doubt in your partner’s mind about what you’re trying to say. It’s a good idea to use “I” statements to get across what you want, need, and feel.
It also means getting your message across without getting angry and without raising your voice.
But good communication isn’t just about speaking, it’s also about listening.
You see, it’s important to actively listen to what your partner is saying. This means paying attention, asking questions, and responding appropriately. It’s also important to be open-minded and avoid being judgmental.
Good communication is often what makes a relationship work because it allows both partners to express their needs, opinions, and concerns.
Effective communication is crucial to avoid any misunderstandings, resolve conflict, and build trust.
Without good communication, you’re looking at misunderstandings, resentment, frustration, and conflict. More often than not, this will result in an emotional disconnect and ultimately, a breakdown in the relationship.
So, are you happy with your communication skills or could they use some brushing up?
3) Respectful behavior
A happy and successful relationship is a union of equals.
And equals treat each other with respect.
So, what exactly does that mean? It means…
- Validating your partner’s feelings
- Being supportive
- Being attentive
- Practicing healthy conflict resolution – and that means talking about issues as soon as they come up
- Showing them how much you appreciate them
- Acknowledging all they do for you and saying thank you
- Making compromises
- Being able to admit when you’re wrong and apologizing
- Giving your partner space when they need it and respecting their boundaries
If the points above sound like you, then you’ve got nothing to worry about. However, if the opposite is true and…
- You ignore your partner’s feelings
- Are unsupportive and discouraging
- Like to argue and stay mad for a long time afterward instead of finding a solution and making up
- Take your partner for granted
- You never say thank you, instead you complain about how they could do better
- You never compromise and have to have things your way
- You’re unable to admit you’ve made a mistake and would rather die than say sorry
- You’re suffocating and instead of giving your partner some space you insist on being with them 24/7
Well then, you really need to start working on your behavior and show your partner the respect that they deserve. If you don’t, your lack of respect will break your relationship, of that you can be sure.
4) Self-awareness and emotional stability
Now, I’m not saying that someone who has issues can’t find happiness. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that emotional stability and overall self-awareness didn’t contribute to the success of a relationship.
Someone who is self-aware is in tune with their emotions. They know themselves and they’re aware of how they may feel and react in any given situation.
And do you know what? That knowledge helps them control their emotions and behavior.
However, someone who lacks self-awareness doesn’t understand their emotions or where they come from, therefore they don’t know how to manage them. That can be quite challenging for their romantic partner to deal with on a daily basis.
I mean, just think about feeling all those emotions and not knowing what to do with them: self-doubt, jealousy, anger, sadness, hurt… eventually all those emotions will have to come out, and if you’re not self-aware and lack emotional stability, your partner is likely to end up being the target of your emotional outburst.
In my experience, it takes someone very strong and devoted to stick around…
The bottom line is that if you’re not quite self-aware and you have trouble dealing with your emotions, you should think about doing some work on yourself. I recommend practicing self-reflection, identifying your triggers, taking up mindfulness meditation, and developing coping strategies.
5) Sense of humor
If life seems jolly rotten
There’s something you’ve forgotten
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you’re feeling in the dumps
Don’t be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that’s the thing
Always look on the bright side of life
– Monty Python
Look at it this way – if you were thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone, wouldn’t you want them to be someone you can laugh with?
For many people, dating someone without a sense of humor could be a real deal-breaker.
So, if you have a hard time laughing and you take life too seriously, I suggest loosening up a little bit and taking yourself less seriously.
What’s more, if you tend to focus on all the negative aspects of your life and ignore all the positive ones – unless you find someone who is as pessimistic as you are – you’re gonna have a hard time staying in a relationship.
My advice? Brighten up and learn to see the funny side of life.
Another important personality trait that could make or break your relationship is patience.
And “Why is that?” you may very well ask.
Because sharing your life with another human being can be challenging at times.
No matter how much you have in common and no matter how well you get along, there are things that are going to irritate you about your partner at times and test your patience.
Remember that nobody is perfect – and that includes you.
Try not to react impulsively or be too hard on your partner. Understand that you are both learning as you go along.
You may not always agree and you may each have your own way of dealing with certain things, and that’s ok.
When you feel like you’re about to snap or lose your cool, try to think of all the things about your partner that you love and appreciate.
Trust me, patience is a virtue and without it, I’m not sure your relationship stands a chance.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s pretty important to be able to depend on them.
Makes sense if you ask me.
Dependable people always keep their promises, carry through on their commitments, and are there for you when you need them.
So, does that sound like you?
Unreliable people make promises as often as they say “hello” and that means that they don’t always keep them. They don’t take their commitments seriously and they have a tendency to flake out at the last minute. Should I go on?
And despite what they may be telling themselves, being unreliable isn’t cute and quirky, it’s just frustrating and disappointing.
Simply put, if you want to know if you have what it takes to make this relationship work, ask yourself, “Can my partner depend on me?”
8) Emotional vulnerability
I mentioned being self-aware and emotionally stable earlier.
Well, emotional vulnerability is just as important a factor when it comes to making or breaking a relationship.
Let me explain:
When someone is emotionally vulnerable, it means that they’re able to open up to the other person and share their innermost thoughts and feelings. It means letting down your guard and risking getting hurt.
This is essential when it comes to deepening a relationship. It means that you trust the other person enough to show them your true self.
The alternative is to be emotionally unavailable.
And when someone is emotionally unavailable, it means that they’re not ready to open up to another person. They’re scared of getting hurt and rejected and they usually end up pushing them away. Basically, they’re not ready for a relationship.
The bottom line is that if you want to be in a real, committed relationship with someone you love, you need to learn to let your guard down and risk getting hurt.
It may surprise you but a person’s independence is actually a pretty huge factor when it comes to making or breaking a relationship.
- Because it gives you the freedom to pursue your interests, spend time with your friends, work on your goals, and make your own decisions.
- Because it gives you the space to grow and develop as a person.
- Because it means that you recognize that you and your partner are two individuals with separate needs and desires.
- And maybe most importantly, because it avoids co-dependency which can be really harmful to a relationship. It’s when two people become too dependent on one another and lose their sense of self.
Finally, I want to point out how important it is to be open-minded in a relationship.
It’s all about how you approach your differences and how you respond to challenges in your relationship.
You see, when you’re open-minded, it means you’re accepting, empathetic, and understanding toward your partner.
And sure enough, that’s a good thing for your relationship.
It also means having an open and curious attitude to life. It means that you’re open to new experiences and to going on adventures with your partner. Basically, it means you’re fun to be around. Sounds good to me!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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