Tara Whitmore
If you’ve ever wondered why some people never seem to find happiness, psychology might have some answers.
As it turns out, certain personality traits may make it harder for people to feel true contentment.
You may have noticed these traits in others or even recognized them in yourself. They can manifest as constant negativity, a lack of gratitude, or an inability to let go of past hurts.
These characteristics aren’t personal choices, they’re deeply ingrained aspects of personality. But understanding them can be the first step towards change.
In this article, we’ll delve into the 8 personality traits that psychologists say may stand in the way of genuine happiness.
1) Chronic negativity
We all have our down days, but for some people, negativity isn’t just a temporary state of mind. It’s a defining personality trait.
If you’ve ever known someone who always seems to see the glass as half empty, you’ve seen chronic negativity in action. These individuals often focus on the negative aspects of life, overlooking any positives.
Psychologists suggest that this relentless negativity can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of unhappiness. After all, if you’re always expecting the worst, you’re less likely to be pleasantly surprised when things go well.
But this trait isn’t a choice. It’s a deeply ingrained pattern of thinking that can be tough to break. However, understanding it and recognizing its impact on happiness is an important first step towards change. Through awareness and intentional effort, it’s possible to shift towards a more balanced perspective.
Yet without this awareness and effort, chronic negativity can be a big roadblock on the path to true happiness.
2) Excessive perfectionism
Perfectionism might seem like a positive trait at first glance. After all, who wouldn’t want to strive for the best? But when taken to an extreme, it can actually hinder happiness.
Excessive perfectionists often set unrealistically high standards for themselves and others. They may spend a lot of time stressing about minor details, and have a hard time accepting anything less than perfect.
Ironically, this constant striving for perfection can lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. It’s difficult to feel content when you’re always chasing an unattainable ideal.
Psychologists suggest that excessive perfectionism can lead to anxiety, stress, and even depression. Accepting that imperfection is part of being human, and learning to find satisfaction in ‘good enough’, is often key to finding genuine happiness.
3) Resistant to change
Some people thrive on routine and predictability. But when this preference turns into a resistance to change, it can become a barrier to happiness.
Life is full of changes, both big and small. Those who are resistant to change may find themselves constantly stressed or anxious as they try to maintain control and avoid uncertainty.
However, research has shown that our brains are actually designed to adapt to new situations. It’s called neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. This allows us to learn from our experiences and adapt to new circumstances.
People who are resistant to change resist this natural process, making it harder for them to adapt and grow. Embracing change, on the other hand, can open the door to new experiences, personal growth, and ultimately, a greater sense of happiness.
4) Difficulty in expressing gratitude
Gratitude can be a powerful thing. It brings us joy, connects us to others and makes us appreciate what we have. However, not everyone finds it easy to express gratitude.
People who struggle with this may often focus on what’s missing in their lives instead of appreciating what they have. This can make happiness seem always just out of reach.
It’s important to remember that difficulty expressing gratitude isn’t a sign of ingratitude or selfishness. It’s often a reflection of deeper struggles and challenges. It could be that these individuals have experienced events or circumstances that make it hard for them to see the positive.
There’s no judgement here. Everyone has their own journey and their own hurdles to overcome. The good news is, like any skill, gratitude can be learned and fostered over time, leading to a more content and happier life.
5) The comparison trap
In our social media-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. We see curated snapshots of others’ lives and can’t help but measure ourselves against them.
Whether it’s someone’s career success, their picture-perfect family, or that amazing vacation they just took, it’s hard not to feel a pang of envy or inadequacy.
This constant comparison can rob us of our happiness. It makes us focus on what we lack instead of appreciating what we have.
But here’s a little secret: What you see on social media isn’t always real. People usually only share their best moments, not their struggles or insecurities.
So next time you start comparing your life with others’, remember that everyone has their own struggles and triumphs. Focusing on your own journey and achievements can lead to a greater sense of self-worth and happiness.
6) Fear of failure
We all know that sinking feeling when something doesn’t go as planned. But for some people, this fear of failure can become a crippling barrier to happiness.
A friend of mine once had a brilliant idea for a start-up. She was passionate about it and had all the skills needed to make it succeed. But the fear of failing held her back. She was so afraid that her venture might not work out that she never actually got started.
Fear of failure can make us avoid taking risks or stepping out of our comfort zones. It can keep us from pursuing our dreams and reaching our full potential.
This fear is often rooted in the idea that we are what we accomplish. But the truth is, our worth isn’t defined by our successes or failures. Understanding this can help us overcome the fear of failure and open up to the possibility of happiness, no matter what life throws at us.
7) Lack of self-care
Self-care isn’t about spa days or indulgent treats. It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. And frankly, if you’re not prioritizing this, you’re sabotaging your own happiness.
Ignored, self-care can lead to burnout, stress, and a host of other health issues. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly putting others’ needs before your own, eventually you’ll have nothing left to give.
Sacrificing sleep, skipping meals, or neglecting your emotional wellbeing might seem like the easier route sometimes. But remember this: You deserve to be taken care of too.
Take the time to figure out what self-care looks like for you. It could be a quiet walk in the park, regular exercise, or just saying ‘no’ when you need to. Prioritize these things and watch how they positively impact your happiness.
8) Ignoring personal growth
If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this: Personal growth is key to lasting happiness.
Those who ignore personal growth often find themselves feeling stuck or unfulfilled. They may have a hard time adapting to changes in life, or feel like they’re not achieving their full potential.
But personal growth isn’t about becoming someone else or reaching a final destination. It’s about continuously learning, evolving, and becoming the best version of yourself.
It might mean learning a new skill, challenging old beliefs, or stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s about acknowledging your weaknesses and turning them into strengths.
Embrace personal growth and see it not as a daunting task, but as an exciting journey. This journey is the path to true happiness.
Conclusion
Understanding these traits is not about labeling or judging oneself or others—it’s about promoting self-awareness and growth.
This article serves as a guide to shed light on the habits and traits that may be hindering your happiness. But remember, the power to change lies within you.
Every moment spent working towards a more fulfilled life is a moment well spent.
And true wisdom lies in knowing that your happiness isn’t determined by external factors or other people’s perceptions. It’s about embracing who you are, learning from your experiences, and striving for a better, happier self.
Here’s to living a more mindful, self-aware, and ultimately happier life!
