Emotional intelligence in a nutshell is the ability to understand and manage feelings.
Sounds simple enough, but mastering it can be pretty tricky.
But for those women who do, the rewards are huge.
In fact, one 40-year-long study by UC Berkeley reported that emotional intelligence is almost four times more potent than IQ at predicting your success in life.
So what are the personality traits of an emotionally intelligent woman?
Let’s find out.
1) Emotionally intelligent women are self-aware
Arguably, when it comes to personal growth, all roads begin and end in self-awareness.
It’s one of the most fundamental aspects of creating positive change.
It stands to reason that we have to be able to see the truth of who we are in order to make changes. So getting to grips with what makes us tick is vital.
This self-awareness is what gives emotionally intelligent women the ability to identify what they are feeling.
By naming emotions, they can better control the behaviors which stem from them.
The starting point of self-awareness ultimately puts them in the driving seat of their own lives.
2) Emotionally intelligent women have self-control and restraint
As we’ve just said, emotional intelligence goes beyond just understanding emotions.
Being able to manage them is just as important.
So that means things like:
- Keeping your cool in high-pressure situations
- Not losing your temper
- Showing composure
- Keeping a handle on your emotions
Let’s face it, life can throw a lot at us. It’s not about becoming some sort of emotionless robot.
It’s more about keeping your emotions as balanced as possible.
That’s one of the reasons why emotionally intelligent women find it easier to recover from upsets.
3) Emotionally intelligent women are resilient
Women who are highly emotionally intelligent tend to also be highly resilient.
Emotional intelligence helps us to respond better in a variety of situations. Which ultimately builds our resilience — as explained by Clinical Psychologist Carla Shuman Ph.D.:
“A person who is self-aware, socially adaptable, and empathetic will be able to survive and thrive on the other side of a life crisis because they have the social and relational skills to be able to handle unexpected and unfortunate circumstances. They know how to advocate for themselves, to problem-solve, and to seek support when they need it the most.”
This resilient streak allows you to let go of mistakes, leave problems in the past, and, as we’ll see next, roll with the punches that life can dish out.
4) Emotionally intelligent women are adaptable
Women with good EQ have the flexibility to handle change.
They know how to bend, instead of breaking.
That usually means they’re much better at balancing the various demands of life.
They adapt to new situations and can show up with fresh ideas and an open mind.
Being adaptable helps us to always stay relevant as well as embrace challenges better. And emotional intelligence is ultimately the anchor for adaptability.
5) Emotionally intelligent women are realistic
There’s a prevalent cultural myth that perfectionism elevates standards.
This misguided assumption is that shooting for perfection at least gives us something high to aim at.
But the reality is that it also loads us with the burden of the impossible. Because perfection in real life simply doesn’t exist.
Emotionally intelligent women have been around the block enough times to know that. But rather than lowering her standards, this realistic approach helps her.
She isn’t left with the disappointing feeling of failure by not achieving perfection.
Her realistic standards mean that setting impossible demands doesn’t end up stealing her motivation.
6) Emotionally intelligent women are motivated
Here’s the thing:
Having realistic standards doesn’t mean that emotionally intelligent women aren’t highly driven.
Because they are.
It’s just that motivation comes from a deeper place. It is intrinsic.
She is motivated by her positive outlook and her own goals, rather than needing external validation.
You could say that emotionally intelligent women create their own internal reward systems.
This motivation runs deep. Because they also have the ability to manage their emotions and behaviors to actually achieve what they set their mind on.
7) Emotionally intelligent women are socially aware
This one is all about the social skills that come along with emotional intelligence.
Because it doesn’t just bring a greater understanding of your own feelings and behaviors. It makes you better at understanding other people too.
The more emotional intelligence you have the better you become at reading the room.
You’re naturally very perceptive.
You’ll probably find you’re a pretty good judge of character. It doesn’t take you long to get to grips with what other people are all about.
Because of this, you respond well to other people’s needs. You can adapt your behavior and responses quickly and appropriately.
8) Emotionally intelligent women are influential
It doesn’t take a big leap to understand that the more of a people-person you become, the more influential you can be.
Charisma is less about being silver-tongued or flattering and more about how effectively you can respond to people.
When you’re skilled in reading the most subtle of emotional cues it’s easier to gain people’s trust and respect.
That’s why emotionally intelligent women are often natural leaders.
They gather support with ease because they’re good at conflict management, cooperating as a team, and offering support.
9) Emotionally intelligent women are open-minded
When we’re emotionally intelligent we open ourselves up to different perspectives, ideas, thoughts, and beliefs.
We have the capacity to see things from a different side.
You prefer to keep an open mind, which in turn helps nurture stronger relationships. That way people don’t feel judged.
It also helps you to broaden your horizons and stay curious.
10) Emotionally intelligent women are empathetic
Compassion and kindness can help us to cultivate greater sympathy and patience for one another.
But only empathy puts you in someone else’s shoes. Because it gives you the ability to understand where they are coming from.
Having empathy allows us to relate to people in the most intimate ways possible. And that gives us a better idea of how to respond to what someone is feeling.
That’s why research has shown having empathy is a fundamental sign of emotional intelligence.
11) Emotionally intelligent women are curious
When you care about people, it’s natural that you will be curious about them too.
The two go hand in hand.
- Ask lots of questions
- Want to learn
- Question the status quo and prefer to decide for themselves
The eagerness for growth and understanding is one of the key components of success in life.
12) Emotionally intelligent women are forgiving
When you have high emotional intelligence you realize that life isn’t black and white.
We human beings are deeply complex creatures.
When you have a deep understanding of the diverse nature of human emotions, it’s easier to accept that we all make mistakes.
Remember we said earlier that emotionally intelligent women don’t burden themselves with expectations of perfection?
Well, neither do they burden others with them either.
So they find it easier to forgive and forget.
They let go of grudges.
They can move past mistakes and conflicts and look toward cooperation and solutions.
13) Emotionally intelligent women are thick-skinned
Emotionally intelligent women are usually far better at taking feedback.
Yes, emotional intelligence can bring with it greater sensitivity too.
But their self-reliance has taught them to look internally for the bulk of their validation.
So their ego tends to be less fragile.
Hearing about things we need to work on or could improve never feels great. It’s easy to take it as a criticism or to heart.
But the more emotionally intelligent you are, the more likely you are to take it on the chin.
You value feedback as a source of growth.
14) Emotionally intelligent women are grateful
Emotionally intelligent women count their blessings.
They make a conscious decision to focus on and appreciate what they already have.
That doesn’t mean they don’t strive for more, it’s more that they don’t neglect the present.
They find joy and gratitude in what is in front of them in the here and now.
Research has confirmed that by cultivating more gratitude in our lives we can enjoy better moods, feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve our health, and build even stronger relationships.
15) Emotionally intelligent women are communicative
Being communicative has zero to do with whether you’re the chatty type or not. Neither is is about natural extroversion versus introversion.
Because this is less about the amount of communication and more about the quality of it.
The greater your emotional intelligence the more expressive you can be.
It stands to reason that the better you understand your own and other people’s emotions, the clearer you become at communicating.
Women with high EQ are assertive when needed and can uphold their boundaries. They know when to say “no” and do so frequently.
Essentially, they have a good grasp of their needs and wants. And they realize it’s important to be able to express this to others.
The better we are at explaining ourselves to the people around us, the easier it is to understand one another.