Roselle Umlas
Have you ever wanted to be known as somebody who is gracious? Somebody who knows just the right words to say, with just the right tone?
It’s a quality we badly need these days, when the world has become so much more chaotic, and people have become more impatient with one another.
These days, talking to a gracious person who’s naturally courteous and kind feels like a balm on our tired souls.
What exactly makes this kind of person special?
In this article, I’ll talk about the personality traits of gracious people who treat everyone with kindness and courtesy.
Let’s dive in!
1) Gracious people are thoughtful and considerate
The art of being gracious doesn’t have anything to do with one’s looks or sophistication.
It does, however, have everything to do with choosing kindness and courtesy over harshness.
This is one of the most prominent traits of gracious people. They just naturally think about other people’s needs and move instinctively to make them feel at ease.
It reminds me of an old boss I had. Every time we had our weekly morning meetings, she had cups of coffee waiting for us in the conference room.
They weren’t just boring cups of coffee, though.
She knew our coffee preferences and made sure we each had exactly what we wanted. It was a fabulous way to start off the day!
It might seem like such a small thing, but with this one simple yet thoughtful act, she made every one of us feel special and cared for.
This leads me to my next point…
2) They are empathetic
More than being thoughtful and considerate, gracious people have empathy.
Having empathy means you’re able to put yourself in another person’s situation and understand their perspective.
How does having empathy help people be gracious?
Well, it’s really quite simple.
When you can visualize yourself in the other person’s shoes, it becomes so much easier to extend grace and patience.
You find it easier to choose kindness and forgiveness when other people make mistakes.
Here’s a great example of that:
I once ate at a newly-opened restaurant. It was the weekend, so it was packed with customers.
One lady had been waiting for a long time, and when her order finally came, it was the wrong one.
Of course, the waiter apologized profusely. Instead of getting mad, she gently told him it was fine because she understood that they were new and still finding their rhythm.
I was amazed at her patience. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been that gracious if I were in her place!
Right there, I saw a display of empathy unfolding before me, and I was so grateful to have witnessed it. It inspired me to be mindful of how I react to unpleasant circumstances.
3) They are tactful and diplomatic
The poet Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This, above all, is what’s at the core of graciousness – the way you make people feel.
That’s why a gracious person thinks before they speak. They consider others’ feelings and avoid being hurtful or unpleasant.
You’ll see this even in the way they handle disagreements.
Being gracious doesn’t mean being a doormat. A gracious person might not agree with everyone, but they will disagree or raise their concerns in a way that doesn’t hurt or demean the other person.
They know it’s important to be right, but it’s even more important to be kind.
Mastering the art of tact and diplomacy also means that…
4) They are humble
Humility doesn’t just mean you don’t brag about your accomplishments or the things you own.
It also means you value everyone and understand we’re all equal and deserving of respect.
Here’s a simple way gracious people show humility – they are always on time.
You might not think of punctuality as a sign of humility, but guess what?
It absolutely is because it shows you value other people’s time. Gracious people know that running late implies their time is more valuable than the other person’s. So they always arrive on time, if not earlier.
Not only that, being humble also means that…
5) They are slow to take offense
Have you ever experienced being criticized? It doesn’t feel good, does it?
Most of the time, when someone speaks to us rudely or negatively, we react just as unkindly.
That’s not the case with gracious people.
They assume the best of people and are humble enough to accept criticism.
If someone speaks to them in an unnecessarily harsh way, they know better than to let these negative comments affect their mood.
They may put a stop to it with a tactful comment like, “I’ll think about what you said and get back to you.” They may also opt to take the person aside and express what they feel in private.
6) They are well-mannered
Recently, I came across a Netflix show called “Mind Your Manners.”
In this show, international etiquette expert Sara Jane Ho works closely with people to teach them manners and improve the way they speak and behave.
While much of the show focuses on things like how to hold your fork and knife or how to walk in heels, I did learn one thing – etiquette is all about making people feel comfortable.
That made me look at the different societal rules we follow in a different light. It’s not about appearing educated or sophisticated at all.
It’s about showing those around us that we respect them and are considerate of their feelings.
7) They are generous and helpful
Graciousness is also marked by a generous and helpful spirit.
Why, you might ask?
Simply because graciousness involves a soft and tender feeling toward others. And when you feel that way, you’re more inclined to give more of your time, attention, and resources to those who need it.
Gracious people are happy to share what they have with others, even if it’s just praise or compliments.
No wonder we all feel uplifted when we encounter a gracious person!
And as much as they love to give…
8) They are also appreciative
Gratitude is something inherent in gracious people. They are quick to acknowledge other people’s contributions or help. In fact, many of them love to go old-school and write thank-you notes!
They value the things they have and are thankful for the people in their lives.
Aside from that, they often find the good in difficult situations and make the best of what they have.
That’s why they aren’t just gracious; they’re also positive and content!
Final thoughts
There’s no doubt about it – being around a gracious person makes us feel better and inspires us to do better ourselves.
And that’s not all; you can also develop graciousness by being mindful of your thoughts and actions. Remember, it’s all about making people feel comfortable.
When we all strive to show grace in our everyday lives, we make the world kinder and gentler!
