I’m not a good man.
I have so many personality traits that make me a bad person. I’ve been single for most of my adult life and struggle with commitment.
That’s why you should listen to me when it comes to the personality traits of a good man. These are the qualities I want to cultivate to become a better person.
If you find a man with any of these personality traits, hold onto him. He’s a good man and worth keeping.
1) Emotionally available
The most important personality trait of a good man is that he’s emotionally available.
Life is difficult. Relationships can be tough.
When the going gets tough, you want to be with someone who is able to open up about his emotions.
You’re then able to build a meaningful connection with him, getting to the core of what makes him really tick.
If he’s emotionally unavailable like me, then it’s going to be a tough road ahead. Look past people like me and try to find men who are open with their emotions and can build deep and meaningful connections.
Here’s my confession video of being an emotionally unavailable man.
2) Admits his mistakes
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.
But there are some people who can’t admit they make mistakes.
This is a huge red flag.
When a man can’t admit his mistakes, he thinks he’s always right. He’ll find a way to justify his most annoying behaviors.
He’ll have little idea of the impact of his actions on other people.
When someone can admit their mistakes, it’s easier to communicate with them. It’s easier to compromise.
Men who admit their mistakes are able to adapt their behaviors and are much better to be with.
3) Honest with himself
We don’t spend nearly enough time thinking about who we are and whether we’re living a life that is aligned with our values.
Many people don’t think about a deeper purpose in life and actively work to designing a life around it.
People who avoid doing these things aren’t very good at being honest with themselves. This is because they don’t know themselves deep down.
It’s more attractive to be with a man who is reflective and consciously builds a life around who he really is.
It’s sexy to find a man who is honest with himself. This is a quality to look out for – even though it’s especially rare in the modern age.
4) Honest with others
Just as you want to be with a man who is honest with himself, it’s important that he’s also honest with others.
The reality is that people aren’t truthful all of the time. Some people get into a habit of telling little white lies.
But the habit of telling little lies results in someone telling big lies when the time comes.
You don’t want to be with these people. If you find a man is telling even small lies, I’d avoid him. He’s not a good man.
Look out for people who value honesty in themselves and others.
5) Does what he says he’ll do
I once wrote an article about how intentions don’t really matter and actions do.
The point was that it’s very easy for us to have good intentions. We may intend to treat someone well.
But often our intentions aren’t aligned with our actions. We don’t want to the real work of being a good person.
The way to find good men is to match up what they say they’ll do with their actions. When actions are aligned with words, you have a good man.
As men, we’re taught from a young age to “man up” and “be strong”. The result is that we find it difficult to be aware of our underlying emotions.
We’re conditioned to deny the anger we feel deep down inside. We may feel a surge of sadness when watching a film and we’ll keep those feelings deep within.
It ends up getting to the point of not being aware of these underlying emotions.
The antidote to this is to develop self-awareness. We need to own up to our feelings of insecurity, sadness, anger and frustration.
When we can be honest with ourselves about these feelings, we develop self-awareness.
The result is powerful. We’re able to be honest with ourselves. This helps us to build stronger relationships.
A key personality trait of a good man is self-awareness.
There will be hiccups to every relationship.
You want to be with a man that will stick with you through the most troubling times.
You don’t want a player. You want a nice guy.
Some men, however, have wayward eyes when the going gets tough.
It’s always more exciting being with someone new.
So when things are difficult, they want to pursue that excitement rather than sticking around to build something long-lasting.
Loyalty is what keeps someone with you when things are difficult.
Loyalty is a key quality of a good man.
Just as you want to be with a loyal man who is emotionally available, you want to be with a kind man.
Some people are so self-absorbed. They only care about what’s going on in their lives.
But others have a natural disposition to look out for the interests of others. They care for others. They want to make a contribution to what’s going on in their lives.
Kindness is what drives people to behave in this way.
And kindness is a key quality of a good man.
When a man is kind, he’ll care for your needs in a relationship. He’ll be willing to put your needs before his.
And that makes him a keeper.
Being charitable means that someone makes it more than a habit of being kind.
They bring practices of looking after others to a bigger scale.
Having a charitable mindset means that someone automatically looks out for situations where they can help people less fortunate than themselves.
When you have this mindset, you’re a charitable person.
Men who are charitable take kindness to a whole new level. They care for what’s happening in the world. Injustice makes them angry. They want the world to get better.
These kinds of men are passionate and are wonderful to be with.
It used to be that men were expected to make the money. They needed to bring home the bacon.
These days, women are far more empowered and are just as capable of making money.
But it doesn’t mean you want to be with someone who doesn’t know how to make money.
You want to find someone who is prosperous. They are able to generate the resources they need to get what they want in life.
It doesn’t mean he needs to be the richest guy in your town. You just want to make sure he has a healthy relationship with money and doesn’t mind spending it to make sure you’ll have a good time together.
If you’re interested in bringing more prosperity into your life, check out my video on letting go of desires. I used an example in the video of becoming more prosperous by not worrying so much about money.
Finally, you want to be with a man who is self-directed. He pursues his passions in life without needing to be encouraged to do so. He actively develops his self-knowledge and aligns his life with his underlying values and purpose.
If a man isn’t self-directed, he’ll grow to rely on you for his direction. That may seem okay in the beginning. But in time you’ll grow tired of these kinds of men.
You want to be with a man who is in control of his life and the direction he’s headed.
A good man is solid and clear in his direction.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.