Whether you’re looking for a husband, wondering whether you should say yes to your boyfriend’s marriage proposal, or just curious if you’ve hit the jackpot with your husband – you’ve come to the right place.
Instead of boring you with another endless list, I’ve gone ahead and created the ultimate checklist with 20 of the most important personality traits of a good husband.
And don’t worry if your man doesn’t check all the boxes, neither does mine!
Let’s get right to it:
1) He’s loving
First and foremost, he’s a loving partner. This means that he’s kind, affectionate, and supportive.
He shows his love through his words and actions:
- By making you and your relationship his number one priority
- By making sure that you spend quality time together
- By doing whatever it takes to make you happy
- By being affectionate: he expresses his love by kissing you, hugging you, and holding your hand when you’re out together
- By doing things for you – like bringing you breakfast in bed or walking the dog when you’re tired
- By actively listening when you speak and responding with a thoughtful answer
- By being a good communicator
- By being open-minded
- By being willing to compromise
- By being committed to making the relationship work.
Sounds good, right?
A successful marriage is more than just a legal contract – it’s an emotional and spiritual bond between two people.
That’s why you can’t have a good husband and a good marriage without love.
2) He’s your friend
What’s the difference between a short-term romantic relationship and marriage?
I’ll tell you what: Marriage is for life.
This means that you and your husband will grow old together. It means you’ll be together in sickness and in health.
Let’s face it, eventually, the romance will fade and the dynamics and frequency of your sex life will change.
I’m not saying this to bring you down or say that marriage is a bad thing – on the contrary – marriage can be great! But it needs to be based on more than just sexual chemistry.
You want someone you can:
- Laugh with
- Have interesting conversations with
- Play board games with
- Get into silly arguments with
- Go on adventures with
Basically, you want to be with someone whose company you really enjoy.
That’s why I think it’s important for your husband to also be your friend – mine certainly is.
3) He’s emotionally mature
We all know that girls mature – both physically and emotionally – faster than boys. But we expect to be on the same page once we’re all adults, right?
Sadly that’s not always the case.
Some guys get well into their 30s while their emotional age remains that of a teenager. In fact, some go their whole lives without ever growing up.
I don’t know what that’s all about, I guess it’s what some call “The Peter Pan Syndrome” – and trust me, you don’t want to marry Peter Pan.
A good husband is a grown-up. He’s someone who can deal with the challenges of adulthood.
He has a job and he can handle “scary” things like bills and mortgages.
And the best part?
When you have a fight, he doesn’t run away from the problem. He works hard to find a solution and is ready to compromise.
4) He respects you
If your man doesn’t respect you, not only does that make him a terrible husband – it makes him a terrible man.
And if he doesn’t respect you, you need to walk away, like right now!
We all deserve to be treated with respect, it’s the least we owe each other as human beings, that’s why it’s super important that your husband be someone who respects you as a woman and as a human being.
And if you’re asking what it means to be respected by a man, it means that:
- He values your opinions and takes you seriously
- He really listens to you
- He takes your feelings into account
- He’s supportive of your goalstHe doesn’t try to control you
- And most importantly, he treats you like an equal
5) He gets you
Another personality trait of a good husband is that he “gets you”.
So, what exactly does that mean?
It means that he understands your unique outlook on life. He can see things from your perspective and is empathetic to your feelings.
A good husband is able to connect with you on a deeper level – he knows what really matters to you, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and what makes you scared.
What’s more, he can anticipate your needs and is always there for you.
Let’s take a look at how else he gets you:
- He knows that you’d rather face a snake than a spider.
- He knows that when you have PMS he needs to stock up on chocolate, be patient, and give you lots of hugs.
- He gets your weird and at times inappropriate sense of humor.
- He knows just the right thing to say when you’re feeling blue.
- He knows what you’re trying to say without you having to get through the sentences.
And do you know what else?
You get him too. That’s why two people who understand each other have a strong emotional connection and a happy marriage.
6) He’s protective
Here’s an interesting fact: A good husband knows that you’re a capable, independent, woman who can take care of herself, and yet… he just can’t help but be protective of you.
All he wants to do is keep you from physical and emotional harm.
For example: When you go out partying with the girls, he comes to pick you up – no matter how late – and never lets you walk or take an Uber.
And if someone is disrespectful to you, he’s ready to get into a fight to protect your honor.
But, why is he so protective?
Well, it’s probably because you’ve triggered his hero instinct.
In a nutshell, the hero instinct is a concept that relationship expert James Bauer came up with. It explains how men are driven by their primal instincts to take care of their mate (that is you).
Once you trigger a man’s hero instinct, he’s all in – he’ll be committed to you and love you more than anyone he’s ever loved before. And he’ll do anything to protect you and keep you from harm’s way.
If you wanna find out more about this fascinating concept, watch this free video here.
7) He’s trustworthy
A good husband is dependable and consistent. He’s also honest and has integrity.
You don’t have to worry about a good husband cheating on you or betraying you in some way, that would never happen.
And if you’re the type of woman who likes to check up on her man by going through his phone or email – there’s zero need to do that with a good husband.
Simply put, he’s entirely devoted to you and would never dream of doing anything to hurt you – you can trust him with both your heart and your life.
8) He’s trusting
And you wanna know something else? He trusts you too.
Trust works both ways, and you want a man who trusts you.
Believe me, you don’t want to be with a jealous guy who keeps asking you “Where were you?” or “Who’s that guy?”
A good husband is trusting because he knows that trust is important in order for a relationship to work out.
9) He’s good at compromising
If you want your marriage to be a happy one, you need to learn how to compromise – and a good husband knows that.
It’s all about understanding each other’s needs and desires and finding a middle ground that works for both.
You like to watch rom-coms and he likes to watch action movies. So, your amazing husband comes up with a plan – he proposes that one evening is rom-com night and the next action movie night. That way, you’re both happy.
And this works with everything, from choosing where to vacation to whose family you spend the holidays with.
Trust me, compromise is super important for a happy marriage.
10) He’s responsible
As he should be. He’s a grown-up after all, remember?
That means he has a job, doesn’t spend more than he earns, and has a good credit score.
It also means that he takes care of his mental and physical health – he meditates, eats well, and exercises.
Sure, he likes to go out occasionally, but he no longer has the need or the energy to party every night. And when he does go out, he never drinks and drives.
He’s a good guy who lives life according to his values and principles. That means that he always does the right thing; fulfills his commitments; and makes sure that his family is taken care of.
11) He’s reliable
In my experience, you want to be with someone you can always count on to keep his promises.
You see, when a good husband says he’s going to do something, he does it. And when he says he’s going to be somewhere, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll show up.
It’s bad enough when you have friends that are always late and that flake out at the last moment, imagine how horrible it would be to be married to someone like that.
A reliable husband creates trust and stability in a relationship. And if you had to choose one person in your life to be able to rely on, wouldn’t you choose your partner for life?
12) He makes you laugh
For me, a guy’s sense of humor comes before his looks.
Because eventually, his looks will fade, and if he’s not funny or interesting, then you’re stuck with a guy that once upon a time used to be handsome. See what I mean?
That’s why when deciding if you want to marry someone, you need to ask yourself, “Does he make me laugh?”
Don’t take laughter for granted because its benefits are endless: it relieves stress, improves mood, fights depression, brings joy, and creates a bond between people.
Think about what it was like to be in lockdown…
Now, think about being in lockdown with someone else – would you prefer to be with someone who looks good or with someone who’s got a personality and the ability to make you do a spit-take?
13) He gets along with your friends and family
I’ve seen so many people suffer because they’re with someone who doesn’t get along with their family and//or friends.
Sometimes it’s the partner who doesn’t like their family and/or friends, sometimes it’s the other way around and the family and/or friends don’t like the partner.
This means that unless you find a husband who gets along with your family and friends, eventually, you’ll have to make a choice between the two, and trust me, that’s not a choice you want to make.
I have to say I’m extremely lucky in that respect because my husband and I get along well with each other’s family and friends.
14) He’s very supportive of you
A good husband doesn’t tell you, “That’s a stupid idea” or “You’ll never be able to do that.”
Because his goal isn’t to make you doubt yourself.
He’s supportive and believes in you. He wants you to succeed in all your endeavors and he’s your number one fan.
Now, that doesn’t mean that if you really come up with a crazy idea that he’ll let you go through with it and make a fool out of yourself, but he’ll certainly tell you in a kinder and more constructive fashion.
15) He’s patient
There are several reasons why it’s good to be with someone who is patient:
- First of all, it improves communication. If you have a patient husband, it means that he’s more likely to listen to you and take your point of view into account.
- Having a patient husband means that at least one of you will be composed when facing a crisis.
- And, if you’re a bit of a wild card like myself, a patient husband won’t judge or get frustrated with you. He’ll be there to provide his love and support and even help you deal with your emotions.
16) He’s very generous in bed
If you know what I mean….
Ladies, I think you’ll agree with me when I say that a lot of men are pretty selfish when it comes to sex. It’s all about what they like and getting what they want.
Luckily for us, not all men are selfish lovers.
Some men know that it’s important to keep their woman satisfied. That’s why they take the time to get to know what she likes and what she doesn’t like. Those men make good husbands.
And the best part? They always take their time.
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. There are certain things you can do to inspire and encourage this kind of behavior.
For instance, you can show your appreciation for everything he does for you. You can show him your vulnerable side and let him know how much you need him. Or, you can empower him – make him feel like he’s a great man, capable of great things.
It’s all about triggering his hero instinct. I really think that you should watch that free video and find out more about how to get what you want from your man.
17) He’s hands-on and participatory
I’m talking about doing his part around the house, of course!
I know that it may seem silly now, but once you’re living with a guy, you’ll realize how important it is to be with someone who does the dishes, cooks, cleans, and goes grocery shopping.
Unfortunately, even in this day and age, a lot of men leave all the household chores to the women and it can be quite tiring to do all that and have a full-time job.
So if your guy isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, he’s a keeper!
18) He’s selfless
It’s important to be with someone who doesn’t just think about what they want and need.
A good husband is kind and generous. And though he doesn’t have to, he puts your needs before your own because he loves you.
For example – he’ll put his dreams of traveling aside so that he can help you pay off your student loans.
And it’s not always about the big gestures. A selfless husband will leave the last piece of chocolate for you, even though it makes his mouth water.
19) He’s open-minded
An open-minded, flexible guy, who likes to try new things and go on adventures with you is the type of husband you want to have.
He always goes along with your “crazy plans” because he knows that no matter what, he’ll have a great time just being with you.
20) He loves you just the way you are
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen or read Bridget Jones’s Diary, but there is a wonderful bit there where the guy tells the girl “I like you very much, just as you are” that makes my eyes water!
I mean, isn’t that what we’re all looking for – someone who loves us just as we are?
That’s what a good husband is: someone who loves all of you – the good and the bad.
He accepts you the way that you are – with all of your flaws and imperfections – because they’re what make you, you.
In short: He wouldn’t change you one bit.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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