Justin Brown
The truly confident man knows there is much more to him than dressing well, having six-pack abs, or the digits in his bank account.
True self-confidence is gained by taking action, growing from setbacks, and identifying and building on strengths.
Anyone can fake confidence, but achieving complete self-assurance will take some commitment and drive.
Do you want to develop your confidence? You’ve come to the right place. In this article, I’ll walk you through 9 key personality traits of a genuinely confident man. Let’s get to it!
1) He’s self-aware
Here’s the thing: confident men know their worth. They have a deep understanding of their strengths and what they bring to the table. But it doesn’t end there.
They’re aware of their shortcomings too. While the insecure person might lack the fortitude to be open about their weaknesses, the self-assured man is forthcoming about them–acknowledging what areas need to be worked on.
Self-awareness also means embracing your authenticity. This brings us to the next point…
2) He’s authentic
Fun fact: confident men are unapologetically themselves. They don’t try to be someone they’re not in order to fit in. They don’t scour the web for the latest fashion trends so they can copy and be like everyone else.
Ultimately, the confident man is authentic and walks to the beat of his own drum.
He is true to himself and isn’t easily swayed by the crowd.
They’re never people pleasers. In fact, they won’t compromise their values to appease society unless it’s absolutely necessary.
3) He’s humble
When your foundations as a person are delicate, you tend to be sensitive about the prospect of being or appearing incorrect. You might even overcompensate by having an excess of pride since being wrong is considered a mortal sin in your eyes.
Confident men on the other hand have no issue with being wrong. They own up to their mistakes, take accountability, and openly seek help to correct themselves–this is humility in a nutshell.
They don’t brag about money or achievements, they’re content with themselves and have nothing to prove to everyone else.
4) He’s resilient
Speaking of being wrong, instead of licking their wounds, confident men have the ability to bounce back from failures.
They use setbacks as fuel to grow and come back stronger. Confident men have a resolve and resilience about them that not many do.
I always remember Steve Jobs’ story when I talk about resilience. In 1985, he was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?
12 years later he returned to Apple and turned it into one of the most innovative companies the world’s ever seen. He didn’t give up when faced with obstacles.
He embodied determination, grit, and resilience in the face of adversity.
5) He has a positive attitude
Forget the brooding, tough guy persona for a minute, confident men generally have an upbeat and positive demeanor toward people and situations around them.
They’re optimistic about things and tend to see the glass as half full. Confident men are also consistently polite and kind to others, regardless of status.
Their positive upbeat energy and mindset are infectious to those they come across.
This is a testament to their emotional intelligence. Speaking of which…
6) He’s emotionally intelligent
Confident men are in tune with themselves. This means they have a firm understanding of their emotions and how to manage them.
They don’t throw fits or lose their cool when they don’t get what they want–they’d rather be diplomatic and diffuse tension in their own unique ways.
Their high level of emotional intelligence also enables them to empathize with the plight of other people.
As established, they won’t be rude or dismissive to restaurant staff or blue-collar workers, they strive to treat everyone with equal respect. Even when they’re inconvenienced, they’re inclined to maintain grace and composure.
7) He doesn’t seek attention
From my experience, you won’t find a confident man hogging the spotlight at a party or oversharing every little detail of his life on social media.
This is because confident men don’t get their fulfillment through empty validation or from the number of likes on the gram–their confidence and swagger come from within.
They’re comfortable in their own skin and don’t need constant external approval from others to feel good about themselves. In fact, they listen actively far more than they speak.
8) He’s open-minded
Confident men aren’t fixed in their ways. They know that the world is a continually evolving place and to keep up having an open mind is necessary.
Besides, they’re naturally welcoming of diversity and enjoy hearing fresh ideas and perspectives either way.
While the average man might get threatened or defensive by the prospect of a differing viewpoint, the confident man has a different approach, one rooted in growth, tolerance, and a quest for knowledge.
9) He’s not passive
Guess what? A confident man doesn’t sit around and wait for good things to come their way. Instead, he makes things happen through inner assertiveness and drive.
He has clearly defined goals and constantly works toward them with laser focus. He knows that nothing of value in this life comes easy.
Hence, he is willing to get his hands dirty and methodically work hard to make his vision a reality.
Some time ago, a close buddy of mine quit his cushy corporate job to pursue his dream of opening a craft beer brand. It was a ballsy and borderline foolish move on his part but he was determined to succeed and brushed off the doubters.
He worked his tail off, mastering his product and finding investors and clients in the process. Although business was slow in the beginning and had its share of setbacks, he didn’t relent.
To make a long story short, five years on, he has built one of the most popular beer brands in the city, an impressive feat that many of his peers once deemed impossible.
How to build confidence
Now that you know the traits of a confident man, it’s only natural to wonder “How can I implement this in my life to build confidence?” Well, it’s your lucky day. Here are some easy strategies you can implement to grow your confidence:
- Know your strengths and build on them: Everyone has something positive about them. Identify and focus on your strengths. Think about how you can apply them to new situations.
- Practice self-care: When you feel good, you tend to be more confident. Look after yourself through regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and other activities that lift your spirits.
- Set achievable goals: Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t expect to become Dwyane “the Rock” Johnson overnight. Start with smaller, achievable goals then gradually work your way up.
- Practice self-compassion: Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t forget that mistakes are a path to growth. Just make sure you always learn from them.
- Surround yourself with supportive people: They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so be mindful of who you decide to let into your life. Try to be around people that uplift, inspire, and challenge you when you’re wrong. Filter out everything else.
Final thoughts
When you become genuinely self-confident, the sky’s the limit. Don’t be discouraged if you aren’t quite there yet; it’s never too late to start building your confidence. Trust me, it’s a completely attainable goal regardless of who you are. Just be dedicated and constantly have your eyes on the prize. Follow the items on this list, but don’t confine yourself to them. There are many ways to grow confidence and become your best self, and once you get there you won’t look back.
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