There is a surge of appreciation for nice guys in recent years.
But let’s not kid ourselves. The truth is: The charm of a bad boy is timeless and irresistible.
There is something about their laid-back, devil-may-care attitude that hits the right spot.
If you’re wondering why a part of you is still into bad boys (despite telling yourself you’re over them), then keep reading!
Because in this article, we’ll look at 10 personality traits of a bad boy we all secretly find irresistible.
Spoilers: They’re really not all bad!
1) He has an assertive and dominant streak
Even if we pride ourselves for being strong and independent, there is something about a bad boy’s dominant streak that is just so attractive.
Believe it or not, this is actually backed by science.
It has something to do with evolutionary psychology. According to Gwendolyn Seidman, women are attracted to dominance because it is often connected to having superior genes.
Basically, this means a part of our biology wants to make sure our genes survive to the next generation. And which candidate is more suited than someone who exudes assertiveness?
But outside of the realm of science, seeing a man with the right amount of dominance can make us feel safe and protected.
And that assurance itself is attractive.
2) He is unapologetically authentic
Bad boys have a bad reputation. They don’t get to be called “bad” for nothing.
But their reputation can arguably be more subjective than anyone will admit. I mean, someone can be “bad” depending on who’s talking, right?
Some would advise you against using straws because it’s “bad” for the environment. And yet, these same people have a huge packaging waste problem from ordering so much stuff online.
Some so-called fitness experts will claim that carbs are “bad” for you. But others will say your body actually needs them.
So what really is “bad”?
Whatever the real answer is, bad boys don’t care if they’re viewed in a negative light. They stand by their principles, interests, and ideas no matter what others say.
And that level of unapologetic authenticity is what attracts us secretly. Because nothing draws you in more than someone who has a big personality they’re proud of.
3) He knows what he wants
Bad boys are not pushovers. In fact, they go out of their way to compromise as little of their wants as possible.
And this can rub people the wrong way, sometimes.
But bad boys will just shrug off other people’s opinions. Why? Because he knows what he wants.
If he wants to dress a certain way, he won’t care even if people get intimidated. If he wants to get himself a new tattoo, he’ll do it despite the risk of being discriminated against.
If he wants you, then you know he really does. Because he’ll let you know.
And who doesn’t like that kind of assurance?
4) He is independent
A bad boy knows how to stand on his own two feet.
This may be caused by a lot of reasons. He may have had a rough childhood, he may have been bullied before, or he may be living in a home where he has to survive from one day to the next.
Whatever the case, he’s not the type to rely on others to save him from drowning.
If he has to swim a hundred miles to save himself from going under, he’ll do it.
And he expects the same from someone he likes.
Why is this irresistible to us? Well, that’s because we can be sure that we won’t just be taking care of an overgrown child… if ever we get together with him, that is.
He’s someone who will proudly make his bed and lie in it.
5) He oozes with confidence
Confidence is a good look on anyone. Being self-assured is kind of a rare commodity.
So to see someone be confident about who he is, what he can do, and how to walk in the middle of a crowd… that draws us in.
Of course, being confident is different from being cocky. If the bad boy you like seems more the latter, then it’s best to back away from him. Cocky people are really just hiding a thick layer of insecurity under all their “swag.”
But a real bad boy is not like that. He’s aware of his own strengths and weaknesses.
And still, he maintains an air of confidence you won’t see with just anyone.
This is connected to the concept of a hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to be more confident with the way he carries himself.
The thing is: An equally confident woman is sure to trigger interest in confident bad boys.
If you want to know the best way to get your bad boy to like you back, watch this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to appear more confident in front of your man.
Here’s a link to the excellent video again.
6) He has an unpredictable nature
Bad boys are interesting, and they know how to keep things interesting.
This unpredictable nature may come in many forms: when they express their affection, when their mood shifts, or when they grab you to a secret hideout where you two can hang out.
A bad boy has a way of keeping things fresh, new, and exciting! And we just can’t resist a guy with that creative, free spirit.
Of course, this unpredictable nature can have its downside, too.
Just because you enjoy not knowing what he does next doesn’t mean it’s healthy when done regularly.
There is a fine line between being an unpredictable bad boy and being manipulative. If you’re not careful, you just might find yourself in a place you might not be able to escape from easily.
The key here is to ask yourself: Is there a solid foundation in your connection with him? Or is everything just one question mark after another?
If it’s the latter, then it’s best to keep your distance from the guy stringing you along.
7) He is very passionate
Bad boys are passionate in one way or another. They may be a guitarist in a band. Or they have a private art hobby. Or they’re really into sports.
Whatever it is, you’ll notice that he pours his heart into it. And that’s what makes him so likable.
Not everyone has a deep passion for something. In fact, most people lose their purpose in life as they get older.
But not the bad boy. He knows his interests and entertaining these interests fulfills him.
And this passion translates as well in the small things he does, which might be the reason why he seems like a drug to you.
You’ll see it in the way places his hand on you, the intense look in his eyes when you’re around, or the way he pulls you in closer before giving you a kiss.
This sends a kaleidoscope of butterflies to flutter inside you. And, inevitably, you return the same intense passion for him.
And that passion fuels your connection.
8) He is not afraid of taking risks
It’s not true that bad boys don’t get afraid. On the contrary, they have so many vulnerabilities worn on their sleeves, if you choose to look.
But these won’t stop a bad boy from taking risks.
Because of this, they can be categorized as dangerous. But not to you.
This is because you just know, deep inside you, there is a certain thrill in doing slightly dangerous things.
Not because you seek to harm yourself, but because it triggers your adrenaline rush.
Taking risks can feel uncomfortable, but so are growth and exploration. And that’s what the bad boy can offer you.
9) He puts himself first
Bad boys are notoriously selfish. And for good reason!
When you’re branded as someone with a reputation of being “bad,” you can’t be part of the crowd who considers you as such. Instead, you have to look out for number one!
Some may find this trait a setback. But really, what this communicates to us is that the bad boy puts his needs and his feelings at top priority.
And when you catch the attention of a bad boy, he will expect you to put yourself first as well.
Maybe that’s why they’re so irresistible. Because if you’re lucky enough to date a guy like that, then your connection will be a celebration of individuality.
He does his own thing and you do, too. And he’ll respect that.
10) He doesn’t pretend to be nice
A bad boy has no reason to pretend he’s nice.
Everyone around him already views him as a deviant troublemaker. These accusations won’t be completely false, though. There is and will always be a part of him that revels in causing trouble.
But why is this irresistible? Well, because you are sure he’s not a people pleaser.
One thing about nice guys is they try so hard to be nice. They wear their “niceness” as a badge of honor that implies, “Hey! Give me attention because I’m doing very nice things!”
But you won’t get this kind of pretense from a bad boy.
When he acts nice and chivalrous around you, that’s not a facade but an expression. He wants you to feel special.
Not because he’ll get something out of it, but because he feels like you deserve it.
And whatever his attitude is, you’ll also know that it’s not for show. He wants you to take him seriously.
I mean, isn’t it attractive when a guy is open about what he actually feels? Whether he’s angry or nonchalant or feeling a little sweet and sensual, you’ll definitely know what’s up.
Is a bad boy worth the trouble?
If we’re honest, bad boys can be a handful. Their unpredictable nature and penchant for trouble can be a little stressful at times.
But what you can trust is that they are going to be real with you all the time.
If their intensity is something you can handle, then by all means, go follow your heart!
One thing you should look out for is whether or not he’s showing signs of toxic and manipulative behavior. Because this is very different from being a “bad” boy.
This type of guy has earned the nickname as a reputation.
But manipulative men are different. Their unpalatable actions are not because they go against what society deems as “good.” Their actions are actually indicative of their tendency to cause physical, emotional, and mental harm to you.
So be vigilant when dating these types of guys. And if they appear to be as decent as you like, you just may have the best relationship of your life!
By now you should have a good idea about the personality traits that make a bad boy so hard to resist.
So what can you do to get the bad boy of your dreams?
Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship with your bad boy to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.