Paul Brian
What do men look for in a woman?
While every guy is different, these are the personality traits that men of all kinds want their female partner to have.
Let’s take a look.
1) Honesty
First and foremost, all guys want an honest woman.
No man has ever wished to date or marry a lady who lies. There’s zero upside.
Men all want a woman who they know they can believe when she makes a promise and whose basic intentions and integrity they trust.
A dishonest and duplicitous woman can certainly seduce a man or play with his heart and mind, but she’ll never keep his love in the long run.
2) Supportiveness
Next up in terms of the personality traits men want in women (must-have qualities) is supportiveness.
Our modern society has really encouraged women to be independent and less emotive.
Under the guise of feminism, many women have been told to suppress the emotional and caring side of themselves in order to “succeed” and not be mistreated by men.
This reaction and cycle is certainly understandable, especially if dealing with low quality guys, but it doesn’t lead to strong and healthy relationships.
Men want a woman who’s at least somewhat nurturing and supports them when times are tough.
A female partner should never fall into the maternal role, but she should try to be supportive and encouraging in the most fundamental sense.
3) Challenging
At the same time as men want a woman who is supportive, they don’t want to get support for nothing.
They want to earn it.
To be more accurate, they need to earn it in order to fall in love.
This is a concept known as the hero instinct which was discovered by relationship psychologist James Bauer.
From their earliest caveman days, men protected and provided for women. Despite modern society eliminating many of the traditional masculine tasks, men still have this need hardwired in their DNA.
A woman who can bring out their “inner hero” and challenge a guy to be a real man for her will have a much greater chance of winning his heart and his commitment.
There are many low-key ways to trigger a man’s hero instinct and make him fall deeper for you, which Bauer discusses.
Check out the free video from James Bauer here.
4) Intelligence
Intelligence is a must-have quality that men look for in a woman.
This does not mean that every lady needs to be a Harvard grad or have a Ph. D. in rocket science.
Intelligence comes in many forms:
Emotional, visual, creative, spatial, mathematical, verbal, to name just a few.
A landscaper may have remarkable visual, creative, spatial and mathematical intelligence, but appear verbally ignorant next to an English professor.
The key is that men look for a woman who has intelligence they recognize and appreciate.
A massive sports fan is going to be much more likely to fall for a woman who has great intelligence with sports statistics and understanding the game, for example…
A man who loves investing will be more likely to fall for a woman who is a mathematical whizz and has a quick grasp of economics…
5) A Sense of humor
A sense of humor is truly indispensable.
Everybody has a different way of joking or sharing humor in life, but even the least funny person in the world has something they find funny.
Men look for a sense of humor in a woman and it’s a big part of what attracts them to her.
When she can see the funny side of life, a lady shows that she’s going to be an enjoyable and entertaining partner.
Long relationships can really get you down if you’re with somebody who doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.
That’s why this quality is a definite must-have in terms of personality traits men want in a woman.
6) Affectionate
No man wants to love a woman who acts like she’s playing a role in a B film and has a wooden expression all the time.
Men want a woman who smiles when they enter the room and who shows them affection.
This may be subtle and come in the form of quiet kisses, touches and hand squeezes:
The important thing is that it comes in some form and at some time.
No matter how reserved she is, men want a woman who isn’t afraid to let them know that she’s attracted to them and likes them.
7) Dependable
Next up in the personality traits men want in women is dependability.
Men may fall for a woman who’s incredibly charming, witty, attractive and interesting. But they’ll soon fall out of love and grow frustrated if she’s not reliable.
I can’t count how many dates I’ve given up on when the woman proved to be flaky, a poor communicator or completely distant emotionally.
Guys want somebody who will be present with them, make promises she keeps and stay in touch at least enough to let him know whether she can make it to dates, events and get-togethers.
We all flake from time to time, but the more dependable a woman is the more respect and attraction she generates in a man.
8) Respectful
Another of the must-have personality traits men want in women is respectfulness.
We all have our down days, but a naggy woman is not OK no matter how attractive she is.
Men want a woman who can challenge them and make them rise to the occasion, but the way to do this is not to be controlling or nagging.
Far too many women fall into this pattern and end up sabotaging any love and attraction they do have with a guy.
They become like an annoying boss or task maker instead of a mate and a guy treasures any time he has away from the shrill commands and criticisms.
Women need to ensure they voice criticisms respectfully and give a guy some space when necessary.
9) Self-awareness
One of the often overlooked personality traits men want in women is self-awareness.
This means that guys want a woman who knows herself to some degree:
She’s aware of her strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, dreams, traumas, likes and dislikes…
She knows how her mind and emotions work and has high emotional intelligence.
Men may have varying levels of self-awareness and emotional intelligence, but they tend to be attracted to women who help them rise up in this capacity.
In other words, guys tend to fall for the kind of woman who is very self-aware and challenges and encourages them to also become more self-aware and effective as a person.
This cycle of mutual betterment is a powerful relationship dynamic.
10) Patience
Very importantly, a man does seek out a woman who’s patient.
Things move so fast in today’s dating and mating world, and men want a woman they can rely on who truly cares about them.
They want a woman who challenges them and brings out their masculine side, but they don’t want to feel like they’re always on the clock.
They need a woman who is patient and has some grace and equilibrium in her manner and behavior.
Having a short attention span, being naggy, losing patience easily and other faults such as this are often very damaging to potential attraction.
11) Maturity
Maturity doesn’t just depend on age. It’s more about taking responsibility, communicating clearly and being an effective and competent adult.
Men want this in a woman and tend to quickly lose interest and respect if they don’t find it.
Maturity is one of those qualities that seems to be in ever-decreasing supply, particularly as more and more people lose their attention span to their smartphones and hide from life in their rooms.
What does maturity include?
- Communicating clearly and without passive-aggressive or nagging tendencies
- Avoiding game playing around things like jealousy or mind games
- Sticking to commitments and promises as much as possible
- Scheduling and organizing to make life easier and more manageable
- Dealing with practicalities around the house and sharing duties such as food, cleaning and laundry
- Having core values and an outlook on life that keeps you grounded and stable
These are just a few examples of what maturity can include.
Men want a real woman, not somebody who is playing games. The latter will always only be a game to them, too.
There is no perfect woman (or man)
There is no perfect woman (or man) out there.
We all have our faults, and love and attraction are partly about working through those faults, learning and growing.
On the individual level, also, we’re all working to improve and better ourselves on an ongoing basis.
Men and women both look for somebody reliable, charming, funny and smart.
The key difference is that a man also looks for a woman who can challenge him and bring out his inner hero.
Knowing how to unlock this side of a man and bring out his inner protector and provider is a powerful romance hack that yields incredible results.
Don’t forget that you don’t have to ever change who you are to attract somebody else, you just have to double down and hone the good qualities you already have inside yourself.
