15 signs you’re a confident person that other people can’t help but admire

Have you ever met someone with such a powerful presence and personality that you were temporarily stunned into silence?

You know the kind of person I mean: a man or woman with such a powerful energy and attitude that it captivated you and rocked your world from the first second you laid eyes on them.

Sometimes these people are closer to home than we realize. They can even be hidden inside ourselves.

Perhaps that charismatic, strong person is you.

Here are the top signs you have a strong personality that stands out from the crowd and other people can’t help but admire. 

1. You know where you stand

One of the biggest factors that makes you stand out from the crowd is that you know where you stand.

Whether it’s popular or not, you have core values and principles that you stick with through thick and thin.

Your beliefs and what you care about in life is not up for negotiation.

You’re friendly and respectful, but you don’t just follow the herd. That in itself makes you stand out.

Whether it’s having unique interests, beliefs or ways of resolving challenges in life, you stick to your guns and get the job done without worrying how it looks to those around you.

Despite this, you are also very happy to listen to the points of view made by others and you don’t disparage them or come across as arrogant in any way.”

2. Your goals align with your values

Everyone has goals of some kind, even if it’s just to excel at their favorite video game or ask out a girl they can’t get out of their head.

The thing is many people’s goals come in fits and starts and do not align with their values.

They may work their butt off to earn money when they really wish they were spending more time with family…

Or they may date someone who they’re strongly physically attracted to, despite the fact that this person clashes with all their beliefs and principles…

The difference of someone with a strong personality that stands out from the crowd is that they line up what they want with what they believe is right and wrong.

They won’t cheat at work even to get ahead, and they won’t marry someone with status if what they want is a deeper connection…

3. You march to the beat of your own drum

One of the top signs you have a strong personality that stands out from the crowd is that you march to the beat of your own drum.

No matter how loud the naysayers and critics are, you aren’t driven by what other people say or think about you.

This includes if people love you: that’s all well and good, but it’s not what gets you out of bed in the morning. And it’s not what pushes you the extra mile when you’re working on projects or pursuing your passions.

You have an inner fire and conviction that’s not defined by the views of others.

You work relentlessly toward what you believe and help anyone you can, but you don’t go against your own values in order to get applause from the masses.

It’s just not your style, and it takes you off mission.

4. You’re not a people pleaser

One of the strongest signs you have a powerful personality that stands out from the crowd is that you’re not a people pleaser.

Like I mentioned, you don’t trim yourself to fit the world or do what others think is the best course of action.

You are helpful and present for folks who need a hand, but you’re totally uninterested in being a doormat or a third wheel to other people’s lives.

You’ve seized your own inner power and confidence and everyone around you can tell. While you’re as polite as you can be, you don’t mince words if people try to manipulate you or step on you.

You just ain’t got time for that.

If people love you, great. If they hate you, their loss.

If you commit to something you do your best to do it. If you need to cancel an appointment or date you do it.

As Amy Morin writes:

“Whether you say yes and then actually follow through, or you later fake an illness to get out your commitments, you’ll never reach your goals if you can’t speak up for yourself.”

5. You judge others by who they really are, not outer labels

This world is so full of labels and categories for everyone. Our media promotes that as well, dividing us into identity groups, pitting us against each other and boosting the idea that our labels make us who we are.

Well, they don’t.

I’ve met carpenters with a Ph. D. in philosophy and academics who spoke so much convoluted nonsense that it turned out to actually mean nothing.

I’ve been in countries and around people I was told by popular culture are “scary” or “dangerous” and had the experience of precisely the opposite…

And I’ve been in cultures that are widely viewed as friendly and safe and never felt more threatened or uncomfortable.

The truth is that if you’re a person who stands out from the crowd you have unique experiences and you own them.

You take the motto “see for yourself” seriously and you don’t judge people or a place until you’ve experienced for yourself.

6. You give people second chances, but you’re no pushover

We often have a binary view of reality.

This extends to personal interactions. If someone is forgiving then they always give people the benefit of the doubt and a second chance.

If someone is a hardass then they don’t forgive or forget when someone crosses them.

The truth is that being overly vengeful or forgiving will leave you in bad shape.

Someone with a strong personality understands this perfectly.

They’re able and willing to forgive someone who’s sorry about what they did, but they don’t forget or act naive when they’ve been treated poorly or double-crossed by someone.

They strongly stand up for themselves and their boundaries, giving second chances if they’re deserved, but never being a pushover.

“People make mistakes, even you. If someone wrongs you, you’ll forgive them if they show true remorse,” notes Eva Jackson.

“Despite that though, you won’t forget about what they’ve done. That way, you’ll know that they don’t really mean ‘sorry’ if they do the same thing to you again.”


7. You have high emotional intelligence

There are a lot of intelligent people out there who have low emotional intelligence.

They know how to crunch numbers and do marketing, but they’re not much good at understanding or navigating emotions.

The result is that they come across as kind of stunted people without as much to offer.

One of the biggest signs you have a strong personality that stands out from the crowd is that you have high emotional intelligence.

You’re no sap, but at the same time you understand emotions and know how to be open about them and resolve difficult emotional periods.

This sets you apart from the vast majority of people.

8. You control your impulses and desires to achieve your dreams in business and life

Everyone is different, but one thing that almost everyone has a problem with is impulse control.

The truth is that if you can control your desires and impulses enough to pursue your goals, then you’re already head and shoulders above the crowd in so many ways.

Nobody is perfect, but even if you can stop yourself gorging on junk food or getting angry when being cut off in traffic you’re in the top tier.

Most people, no matter how smart, are very vulnerable to their instant reactions, emotions and responses.

If you learn to have more control it puts you way ahead in life and in business.

Lolly Daskal puts it well:

“Most entrepreneurs are people of impulse, and most passionate people live by feelings.

But those who understand and practice the art of discipline can channel those impulses into something of substance.”

9. You project your voice but you don’t shout to be heard

What are the first things you notice about someone?

For me it’s body language, eyes and voice.

One of the most important signs you have a strong personality that stands out from the crowd is in your voice itself.

Confidence and gravitas comes through the voice and attracts others to you.

Studies have also shown that voice pitch changes during a situation of attraction to a potential mate.

When you’re a person who stands above the crowd, there’s often just something about your voice that people listen to.

Maybe it’s the tone, the style, the content of what you say or a combination of all of that and some extra mystical factor…

Whatever it is, you can be sure not everyone has that privilege.

10. Whining is not a luxury you indulge in

If you want to do one thing right away that makes you stand out from the crowd, stop complaining.

I’m talking even about the small things. You might be pissed, but try just not voicing your complaints for a few days or weeks.

You’ll be surprised at how you begin to focus less on what’s wrong and more on what’s possible.

The fact of the matter is that strong and impressive people aren’t all that interested in excuses, complaints and problems.

They are interested in solving those problems, not talking about them.

“Strong personalities do not put up with excuses. When you have a strong personality, you’re not willing to listen to people waste time whining about what they can do.

You would rather focus on what you can do and how you can overcome obstacles to do more,” observes Michael Prywes.

11. You compliment others on their success

If you’re someone with a strong personality that stands out from the crowd then you like to give compliments.

You notice what others are doing right and you boost them up.

You understand that fundamental law of social dynamics, which is that people really love to be seen and recognized.

When you tell them about the good job they’re doing, or how you appreciate something they did for you, they respond in kind.

They notice you and want to work with and support you.

It’s truly a win-win.

12. Small talk gets on your nerves: you want to talk about the big stuff!

Now and then the weather is just too interesting not to talk about.

But in general, one of the top signs you have a strong personality that stands out from the crowd is that small talk kind of bores you.

It’s not that you’re “above it” or too smart, it’s just that you crave so much to talk about things which are substantive, emotional, real and fundamental.

You love to find out what drives others, or talk about what drives you.

You love to think about business ideas, life plans and values.

So when chit chat hits you, you tend to wilt just a little…

Like Prywes says:

“If you have a strong personality, you have a lot of ideas.

You do not want to waste time talking about people when you could be changing the world.”

13. You’re only competing with yourself

There are so many potential reasons to become jealous when you look around what people have and do that you don’t…

But if you have a powerful personality that stands out from the crowd, you don’t focus on this.

It just bores you.

You truly only compare yourself with the yourself of yesterday.

If you’ve improved even a small amount you celebrate it.

If you’ve overcome a challenge you give yourself props even if others would never understand everything you had to do to get to that point.

You’re not in it for the recognition, you’re on your own journey and you own that.

14. You take advice with a big grain of salt

Most people are easily swayed by persuasion and the advice of others.

They have trouble thinking for themselves and find that the news, popular opinions and narratives hold a big piece of real estate in their head.

If you have a strong personality that stands out from the crowd then this isn’t a problem you have.

No matter what other people say, you don’t necessarily buy into it, unless it accords with your values and makes sense to you.

As Kris Di writes:

“The only one with the power and the right to direct your life is you.

That is why you don’t allow anyone to interfere with your plans or your relationships. You live life according to your own principles, beliefs, and values.”

15. You’re pumped about your dreams and on the track to find them

Strong personalities aren’t easily satisfied. They have an inner drive that keeps them going and going.

If you have a drive that never quits and passions that go on for miles, then you stand out from the crowd.

If you’re not satisfied with a postage stamp lawn and a typical 9 to 5 then you stand out from the crowd.

If you don’t whine about problems but solve them instead, you stand out from the crowd.

You’re not concerned about what others have, you’re focused on what you are chasing…

One in a million

The truth is that each of us has our own unique life experience and story.

Each of us is one in a million.

The birth of anyone is, biologically speaking, basically a miracle considering how high the odds are against being born, surviving and living into older age.

What makes you truly stand out from the crowd isn’t being “special” or “different.”

What makes you stand out from the crowd is knowing yourself and your life experiences at a deeper level than most people around you.

What makes you stand out from the crowd is having enough self-honesty to grow and change as a person.

What makes you stand out from the crowd is understanding that no matter how unique we are, we’re ultimately still all in this together.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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