A person with self-respect won’t tolerate these 10 behaviors from anyone

There are many things that we simply let slide for the sake of getting along.

But there are just some things that are so bad that nobody with even an ounce of self-respect will tolerate it.

If you’re a person with self-respect, here are 10 things you will never allow anyone to do to you.

1) Cheating

When someone cheats on you, they’ve already decided that their wants are worth more than their respect and love for you.

It doesn’t matter if it’s because they’ve simply had a moment’s weakness (like they’re drunk) or had fallen out of love with you. They did the deed knowing full well how it can destroy your relationship.

By tolerating their infidelity—or worse, assuming you’re at fault—you’re basically saying that you’re willing to cast your own dignity aside simply to have someone by your side.

A person with self-respect knows they deserve much better than that!

If anything, the self-respecting person would instead happily dump their cheating partner. They’d think “Well, at least I dodged a bullet”, and move on. 

Of course, there are some rare instances where your love is big enough that it can accommodate this kind of offense. But if they are to give their partner a second chance, they’ll make it clear that they’re on thin ice.

2) Stealing credit

There are times when the people we work with—group-mates, colleagues, and even our bosses—will try to deny us the credit that we’re due.

Sometimes they would simply try to downplay the parts we played, and sometimes they would outright steal the credit!

It’s especially annoying when, in the grand scheme of things, said person didn’t even do at all that much by themselves.

People with self-respect will not tolerate this, even if they have to assert themselves against their superiors…even if it seems “petty” and “pathetic”. 

They will fight to be given credit when possible and take steps to avoid working again with the credit-stealer.

3) Bullying and discrimination

When we hear the word “bullying”, many of us automatically think of high school. 

It’s such a juvenile-seeming word for such a juvenile concept that we simply can’t think of it being part of adult life.

Bullying doesn’t stop just because we’ve “grown up.” If anything, it actually gets worse for some people, especially those who, for some reason, can’t fight back.

People with self-respect acknowledge this and refuse to be bullied in any shape or form.

They will happily tell off people who throw mean “jokes” about their race, gender, sexuality, looks, and age, for example.

They love themselves enough to fight against people who want to put them down. After all, no one else can do it for them. They have to be their own hero!

4) Giving backhanded compliments

Backhanded compliments or “nonpliments” are one of those things that we like to think ought to stop at high school, but don’t.

A lot of working professionals get hit by comments like “wow, you’re quite smart for a woman” or “there’s no way you did this, it looks so good!”

A lot of people will simply let them slide to seem more adult or mature. Or some might just laugh it off and be the “bigger person”.

But people with self-respect will instead put their foot down. 

Why should they pretend that it’s a compliment when it’s clearly an insult? Why should they let it be?

They say “enough is enough” with these judgmental assh*les who think they can get away with insults just because they sound smart and funny.

5) Gossiping about them

There’s no quicker way to show that you disrespect someone than by gossiping about them.

When you gossip, you’re taking and sharing hearsay about someone else’s life, often about things that they have not shared to the public.

Whether or not the things being discussed are true, false, or somewhere in between…gossip hurts the person being talked about. 

To a person with self-respect, this is just criminal, especially if they’re someone they’re close to—like a best friend or family. Add the fact that the gossipers are  ENJOYING themselves at their expense is just horrendous.

This is the reason why people with self-respect will be quick to shut down any gossip about them. And even if they know they risk getting heat for it, will happily cut off anyone who continues to gossip about them.

And for the same reason, they would refuse to partake in gossip themselves. If they don’t want people talking about them behind their back, why should they do it to others?

6) Not valuing their consent

There is no debating the fact that consent is incredibly important. 

Whether or not you gave your consent to something can easily be the thing that decides if you’d like it or hate it.

You might be more than happy to lend your family a thousand dollars because they need it, for example, but hate it if they decided to take a hundred without telling you about it beforehand.

It’s a very blatant display of disrespect. It means that people don’t care what you feel about something, and what matters is that you have something they want.

This is why people with self-respect simply won’t tolerate it if people neglect to ask for their approval.

Sure, they might simply let people off with a warning the first time it happens, but they aren’t afraid to put their foot down if it’s become a habit.

7) Hurling insults at them

With maturity comes the knowledge that there are just some things you’re meant to shrug off.

In fact, many insults are actually quite petty and weak, and it’s better to laugh at them rather than get mad.

But even the most mature, self-respecting adult will not tolerate it when people they’re close to decide it’s a good idea to insult them.

Milder insults like shouting “Shut up and just move your lazy ass” will easily earn them a good warning. But more severe insults like “You’re a piece of sh*t who’ll end up just like your alcoholic father!” get quick and decisive action.

Any friends who think it’s a good idea to shriek obscenities at them in public or to make targeted comments mocking their gender, race, or way of life will soon find themselves turning into ex-friends.

8) Minimizing their achievements

No one wants to admit it, but many people don’t exactly like it when they see someone doing better than them—and even more so if that person is confident and knows it!

So they try to knock them down a peg, usually by minimizing their achievements or trying to set them up for failure.

Every time this happens, the motivation is either jealousy and insecurity or a desire to keep their power over another. 

But regardless of the reason, people who respect themselves won’t just let people trounce all over their hard work.

They’ll stand up for themselves and make it clear that whatever they have achieved, they’re not meant to be trivialized.

9) Breaking promises

There are times when promises simply can’t help but be broken.

Perhaps you made a promise to meet up with someone you haven’t seen in decades, for example. But then, as luck would have it, you got into an accident the day before!

But not all broken promises are broken for good reasons such as this one. Sometimes, people are simply lazy, and sometimes people simply decide not to prioritize their promises.

A self-respecting person will look into the reasons why and, if they find people have been simply stringing them along, then they will put their foot down and refuse to be toyed with any longer.

10) Emotional manipulation

Self-respecting people are quick to shut down any attempts at emotional manipulation, and even simply attempting to do so will earn their ire.

Whether it’s a lover trying to play on their insecurities in order to keep them from breaking up, or their friends trying to pressure them into doing something for them, they put their foot down and say “no.”

They know they deserve better to have people play around with their feelings and treat them like a puppet on a string.

It doesn’t matter if that someone is a colleague, friend, family, or even an employer. If someone tries to manipulate them, they’re out of their life.

Last words

In the end, people with self-respect aren’t asking to be treated like gods or kings.

They simply want to be given basic human respect.

To be treated as equal regardless of their gender, race, sexuality, occupation, or social status. To have their privacy, their boundaries, and their efforts respected.

But some people are just mean and disrespectful without being aware of it.

It is therefore YOUR duty to assert yourself and to teach people how to treat you right. Because in general, people who CAN walk all over you WILL walk all over you if you allow them.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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