There are certain personality traits which make you a great partner.
None of us are perfect, that’s true!
But if you have these traits you are much more likely to have a fulfilling relationship.
The first of the qualities that makes for a fulfilling relationship is introspection.
The willingness and ability to sit quietly and reflect on oneself is very valuable in a relationship.
There are some realizations about our own behavior, needs and nature that have to be reached internally.
That’s where introspection and taking an honest look at oneself comes in.
This relates directly to the next key trait.
One of the benefits of introspection is a growing amount of self-awareness.
Relationships come in two basic forms:
Two halves looking for their other half, or two wholes looking to add value and joy to each other’s lives.
Self-awareness and self-integration leads to becoming whole.
Being whole leads to relationships where one is not needy or codependent and can communicate, give and share in a non-possessive, secure way.
That’s why self-awareness is so key.
If you know yourself fully, including your faults, then you’re prepared to truly meet and love your partner where he or she is at.
3) Active listening
The next of the key traits of those in fulfilling relationships is active listening.
Active listening, also known as deep listening, involves not only devoting one’s full attention to what the other individual is saying, but also to the unexpressed desires and meaning behind what they’re saying.
Just as one may read a book by reading between the lines and understanding the deeper theme or meaning of the work, one may listen to a person by listening between the lines.
Why are they saying what they are saying?
What do they seem focused on?
Are there unexpressed needs in what one’s partner is saying?
The ability to actively listen is a key trait in every successful relationship.
This leads directly into the next crucial trait as well…
Out of introspection, self-awareness and active listening comes empathy.
The ability to understand your own emotions and those of your partner are a key part of a successful relationship.
Even if you haven’t been where they are emotionally, you can relate to what’s being expressed and are able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
This is very crucial and can lead to some big resolutions of conflicts and disagreements that can otherwise derail even the deepest connection.
This brings up the next valuable trait:
Patience is absolutely necessary in a healthy and long-term relationship.
The secret, however, is that patience rarely comes about by accident or as an inherent trait.
True, some folks are just more patient than others.
But for the most part, patience is born of a certain high level of trust and empathy between partners.
Patience is cultivated as a matter of free choice and decision.
You or your partner choose to be patient when you are confused or impatient about something in the relationship or in life.
You confide in your partner, but you’re willing to not always demand what you want right away from them or from your situation.
This can make all the difference.
6) Good humor
Next up in key traits that make for a fulfilling relationship, we come to having a good sense of humor.
This is something that can be developed, and it doesn’t mean you need to be a hilarious stand-up comedian.
Good humor can come down to something as simple as having a laugh about a miscommunication or your partner laughing when you give an awkward answer about whether they look fat in certain clothes.
Instead of getting offended or taking things too seriously, good humor burns off some of the excess tension.
Good humor allows little misunderstandings and tensions to just be let go.
Next up in key traits that help a relationship be fulfilling is practicing gratitude.
You’ll see this word around a lot, because gratitude really is very important.
But the thing to remember is that you shouldn’t be forcing yourself to feel grateful.
It shouldn’t be an emotional state or reaction that you’re talking yourself or your partner into.
Instead, gratitude is a quiet, underlying emotion that you cultivate and allow to happen.
When you’re sitting together with a nice cup of coffee watching the rain outside and you get a bit of a fuzzy feeling, that’s probably gratitude!
This emotion helps you appreciate what you have and practice the kind of patience and empathy I mentioned earlier in this article.
Next up in traits that are very helpful in a relationship is loyalty.
Loyalty is a character trait in terms of your honor and honesty.
But it’s also a choice.
Life and romance present many situations where loyalty comes into question.
What about just forget about your partner for one night and go to the strip club with the guys? Come on, it’s a party!
You know she won’t like it, but does she have to know?
What about just have some fun and send a naughty text to that one hot guy at work. Come on, it’s not like you’ll actually sleep with him!
You know your boyfriend won’t like it, but he won’t have to know…right?
Wrong. Even if your partner never finds out, having a lack of loyalty
The next of the key traits that make for a fulfilling relationship is helpfulness.
This is more of an action than a trait.
But it can be cultivated as a kind of habit.
Helping out in various ways, even small ways, makes a huge difference in a relationship and shows the kind of care and dedication to the relationship that keeps it strong and joyful even through hard times.
Being helpful is so important, it’s just also vital to remember to never be a doormat!
Remember that you and your partner are voluntary members in this relationship and you can freely choose to help out, rather than feel obligated to do so.
If one of you is dropping the ball, then it’s important to talk about it honestly and improve the situation, but using force or shaming is not the way to go.
Generosity is another of those traits that can’t be done without in any worthwhile relationship.
No relationship should become a ledger sheet of checks and balances.
If you start sliding into a transactional relationship you’re in big trouble.
That’s where generosity comes into play.
Generosity as a voluntary and freely given action is a valuable gem in any relationship.
Being generous because you can be is one of the most valuable behaviors any partner can have in a relationship, and your partner will feel when generosity is real or when it comes with strings attached.
So it has to be genuine.
Which brings me to the next point.
Lastly and very crucially in the traits that are necessary for a fulfilling relationship, we come to authenticity.
This is another one of those qualities like gratitude that is cultivated but not really taught or acquired.
You don’t try to be authentic, you just are.
The question is, what if being authentic means you express that you’re very angry with your partner right now?
That’s where some moderation is called for.
Being angry is OK. It’s real. But the method and form you express it in is up to you, which is where practicing some subtlety and grace is called for.
The key to a fulfilling relationship
The key to a fulfilling relationship is being an active listener, clear communicator and authentic individual.
When you are true to yourself and truly hear where your partner is coming from, you have the potential to bypass and overcome many of the roadblocks that destroy other relationships.
The key to a fulfilling relationship lies with you and your partner and your decision to cultivate those traits which will better your union.