People with self-respect never tolerate these 10 behaviors from others

We can’t control how others treat us, but we can control how we respond and what we tolerate. 

Those with a healthy level of self-respect know when to draw a line in the sand and stick to it. 

They are patient and willing to compromise, but they have their limits and their standards that they won’t break for anyone. 

Here are the top behaviors and actions they will never put up from anybody else.

Let’s dive in: 

1) Disrespect

The confident individual refuses to be disrespected without an apology. 

They simply won’t be spoken to or treated in a disrespectful manner.

And if they are, they will demand an apology and change of direction or they will exit the interaction and cut the person out of their life as much as possible. 

They are the opposite of the overly “nice guy” or “nice girl” who just puts up with everything. 

As Psychology Professor Leon Seltzer PhD. advises: “People who are non-assertive—that is, passive, verbally withholding, or overly deferential—generally don’t (and can’t) get their basic relational needs met. They end up feeling frustrated, misunderstood, and unfulfilled.”

2) Manipulation

Those who try to manipulate them end up hitting a brick wall. 

Their tricks don’t work:

Whether it’s gaslighting, emotional blackmail, playing the victim or other mind games, the self-respecting person shuts it down. 

They recognize and reject any form of emotional or psychological manipulation.

Their own self-respect won’t allow them to be treated in such a way, and they know that giving in just a bit often ends up leading down a very dark road. 

They just don’t start down that road at all. 

3) Inconsistency

The self-respecting individual does not tolerate unreliable or flaky behavior.

They expect consistency in actions and words.

They know their worth, and they respect the schedules and time of others. So they expect the same in return. 

As Dr. Margie Warrell advises: “Not believing in your innate worthiness can cause you to settle for less than you want or deserve.”

Because the self-respecting person believes in their own worth fully, they don’t waste time on those who constantly break their word. 

They have more important things to do than chase anyone who can’t do what they say.

4) Dishonesty

They don’t tolerate lies or deceit about any important matter in their personal or professional life. 

They value honesty in all relationships.

This doesn’t mean they expect perfection, and they know that small inconsistencies and white lies get told by the best of us.

But even small lies will cause some red flags to go up.

And if the self-respecting person realizes there are many bigger lies occurring they will disengage. 

They don’t have time for nonsense and dishonesty from anybody in their inner circle. 

This ties directly into the next point as well: 

5) Crossing of core values

Those with self-respect are able to compromise and agree to disagree.

But they won’t maintain any ties with those who belittle or criticize their fundamental beliefs and values.

“Candidly letting others know what you need and desire—as well as how you feel—demonstrates personal dignity, self-confidence, and respect,” notes Seltzer.

If somebody respectfully disagrees with their views, lifestyle, goals or philosophy, that’s fine. 

But if people or a company or anybody contravenes and steps all over what they believe, they will stand up for themselves.

They’re not willing to let anybody attack them for who they are or what they stand for.

6) Invasions of privacy

When they need some time alone and privacy, it’s non-negotiable. 

Those with a healthy amount of self-love and self-respect, will not tolerate infringements on their privacy. 

They insist on personal boundaries and do not tolerate rude or harmful intrusions into their private life.

If they want to share or open up to somebody they will do so when they are ready or respectfully approached. 

But having their privacy crossed against their will or their personal life rifled through by somebody who’s emotionally trespassing is a dealbreaker.

They won’t tolerate it.

7) Pushy and judgmental advice 

Freely given advice is fine. It may be bad advice or ignorant advice. So be it. 

But unwanted and pushy advice has no place in the self-respecting person’s life. 

They will stand up for themselves and resist any attempts to corral them into a way of life, career, relationship or decision that isn’t what they actually want. 

As Seltzer observes: “Once you’ve learned how to mindfully stand up for yourself, you’ll find that you’ve greatly increased the odds that whatever you have to say will be better understood—and given more weight—than may ever have been the case previously.”

They reject pushy advice or opinions that are given without being requested or that are condescending and hurtful. 

Life’s too short to accept the malice of others or those who push their views in a way that’s controlling or spiteful. 

They won’t sit there and be nice about garbage, judgmental advice they didn’t ask for just because somebody decided to dish it out. 

8) Dismissiveness and arrogance 

The self-respecting person has no time for dismissive and arrogant people

When they see that people are dismissing their thoughts, feelings, values and priorities, they disengage. 

They refuse to let fear run their life and are not afraid of being judged or disliked by somebody who thinks they are superior or tries to put themselves above them.

As Warrell points out: “Whole new possibilities open up for us when we refuse to let fear run our lives and find the courage to stand up for ourselves.”

The self-respecting person is a living example of this:

They stand up for themselves and won’t let shitty people be in the driver’s seat of their lives. 

9) Neglect and abusive behavior

They won’t tolerate neglect or abuse in any form, whether emotional, physical, or otherwise.

If somebody treats them this way at work they complain to management or quit.

If somebody treats them this way in a relationship they stand up for themselves, break up and, in some cases, contact the authorities. 

No matter how fond they are of somebody, the self-respecting person will never allow that person to treat them like garbage. 

They know that if they go down that rabbit-hole their self-esteem and fundamental self-image will be damaged in ways that may take decades to repair. 

It’s just not worth the suffering to sacrifice their well-being to somebody else’s issues.

10) Conditional love and transactional relationships 

They refuse to accept love or friendship that comes with strings attached or conditions.

This is because at a fundamental level, the self-respecting person is willing to be disliked. 

“The reasons so many people allow others to step on their dignity and treat them with a lack of respect, care or kindness are as complex as human nature itself,” notes Warrell. “But at the core of it lies our fear of what might happen if we do stand up for ourselves.”

Because they aren’t depending on others liking them, the self-respecting person is able to stand up for themselves.

They are able to turn down any relationship that isn’t based on real trust and affection because they know it’s not good enough and they know they can and will do better. 

Setting limits and sticking to them

Self-respect doesn’t come naturally to everyone, especially those with deep traumas from early childhood neglect or abuse. 

When you weren’t raised to stand up for yourself and set hard limits, it can feel impossible to say no to others. 

But learning to begin the process of standing up for yourself and respecting your own standards and limits is absolutely crucial:

It is the path of every self-actualized individual to become increasingly consistent, authentic and honest with themselves and others.

7 signs you have a legitimately good friend in your life, according to psychology

If someone is manipulating you, they’ll usually employ these 8 subtle conversational tactics