Adrian Volenik
Having a lot of self-esteem and self-confidence is something we all want for ourselves. However, appreciating and valuing ourselves isn’t always an easy feat.
As someone who has struggled with this in the past, I know that there are many phrases people with low self-esteem regularly use that reveal their insecurities.
So if you’re interested in knowing what some of these phrases are and why you shouldn’t use them, simply continue reading this article.
Okay, let’s begin!
1) “I’m not good enough”
The quintessential phrase someone with low self-esteem thinks or says is, “I’m not good enough.”
But how does it come to this? Why do some people have such a low opinion about themselves?
This common self-doubt often results from comparing oneself to others, setting unrealistically high standards, or past experiences where someone criticized them.
Over time, this belief stops or slows down personal growth, as people hesitate to take on challenges because of their perceived inadequacy.
They basically dig their own grave.
2) “I can’t do it”
“I can’t do it” is a common phrase that many of us use, and it often ties back to a deep fear of failing.
It’s like that little voice inside our heads telling us we’re not good enough or that success is reserved for others.
In fact, I have a project I’m lifting off the ground as we speak. I constantly hear this annoying voice telling me how hard it will be to pull this off, how many hours I’ll be spending on this project, and that I don’t have the necessary skills.
Although I’ll never mutter this phrase out loud (because that would signal defeat for me), I can’t describe how annoying and soul-crushing it is to keep thinking this, and it’s a real confidence killer.
And here’s another banger:
3) “I always mess things up”
“I’m constantly screwing things up” is a common feeling that many of us experience. It often comes from dwelling on past mistakes and feeling like we’ve fallen short.
This leaves us feeling hopeless and frustrated, and it’s tough to see how we can grow and do better when we’re stuck in this mindset.
Okay, so you messed things up in the past, but that doesn’t mean you’ll do it again. If you learned from your mistakes, you’ve already grown as a person.
Think about that for a sec.
4) “No one likes me”
Feeling like no one likes you is a common human emotion, and it often comes from a mix of self-doubt and social anxiety.
When you believe nobody likes you, it can be like carrying around a heavy backpack of self-doubt.
This feeling is a bit of a catch-22 for self-esteem. You avoid social situations because of this sentiment, which leads to isolation.
After all, if you don’t put yourself out there, how can you discover that people do like you? It’s like sitting at home and watching the party through the window, all because you’re convinced you won’t be welcomed inside.
5) “I’m a failure”
Similar to “I always mess things up,” this harsh self-assessment stems from a history of perceived disappointments and setbacks.
It ultimately results in a fear of trying new things or setting ambitious goals because you start to believe that you’re just meant to fail.
When you catch yourself thinking this, try to be kinder to yourself and focus on what you’ve learned from your past experiences.
It’s a more positive and constructive way to boost your self-esteem and move forward.
6) “I don’t deserve happiness”
This is a tough one. Unless you’ve outright murdered someone, there are no reasons why you shouldn’t deserve happiness and fulfillment.
Even if you’ve tragically lost someone who was incredibly dear to you and you think you should never be happy again, know that that’s not what they would wish for you.
They’d want you to move on and lead a joyful and eventful life.
7) “I’m so ugly”
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but still, negative body image is a significant source of low self-esteem.
It’s a thought that many people, at some point in their lives, have experienced. It’s that nagging feeling of not measuring up to societal beauty standards or comparing yourself to others.
It’s even more common now due to social media and everyone publishing only their best photos and moments from their lives.
What you don’t see is the ugly, the no make-up, the desperate, the blood, sweat, and tears.
Instead of getting caught up in negative self-perception, try to appreciate your own uniqueness. Focus on your positive qualities, both inside and out.
8) “I’ll never succeed”
I’ve long believed that I’ll never do anything with my life. That I’ll stay single forever, never have a fulfilling job, and be an all-around failure.
I was always feeling stuck and demotivated. I convinced myself that the finish line was too far away, so why bother starting the race?
This kind of thinking often turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you’re convinced you’ll fail, you might not even try, and that guarantees you won’t succeed.
It’s as if you’ve closed the door to opportunities before they even knock.
Luckily, I turned out fine, and so can anyone else who doesn’t let low self-esteem get in their way.
9) “I should just give up”
“I should just give up” often creeps into our thoughts when we’re feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
It’s a mental sigh of defeat.
When my wife and I started to climb the tallest mountain in Ireland, we were totally unprepared. I know what you’re thinking, but it is really tall, you guys!
Anyway, we were starting to get hungry the first 10 minutes in, and all we foolishly had was some water.
We fought the urge to give up almost the whole way up. Luckily, at some point, it made more sense to just continue the climb than to go back because we were relatively close to the summit.
The thing I’m trying to convey is that you shouldn’t give up on your dreams even when faced with obstacles.
We were glad we didn’t because that day is still one of the best in our lives!
10) “I’m worthless”
When you constantly tell yourself you have no value, it becomes hard to stand up for yourself or even take care of your own welfare.
You’re stuck in a cycle where you don’t feel like you matter to anyone, and this belief holds you back from pursuing your goals and finding happiness.
You have unique qualities, experiences, and perspectives that make you special. You need to challenge this negative thought and start recognizing your worth, not just to others but to yourself as well.
11) “Nobody cares about me”
This conviction is like a heavy weight, causing you to pull away from social situations and relationships, thinking, “Why bother when no one cares?”
But here’s the thing, people do care, even if it doesn’t seem that way sometimes.
Reaching out to friends or seeking support can help you see that people do care, and it can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself.
12) “I’m a burden to others”
Feeling like you’re a burden to others often comes from a worry that your problems or needs might be too much for the people in your life.
You’re concerned that by reaching out for help or simply being yourself, you’ll cause trouble or make others unhappy.
This could be something as simple as not asking a colleague for help on a work project.
For example, when I’m facing a tough situation, I’m reluctant to ask friends or family for help because I worry that it’ll inconvenience them.
I have this thinking even though I personally jump on every opportunity to help them.
Still, I always fail to remember that most people in my life care about me and want to be there for me.
How to develop self-esteem
In a nutshell, boosting your self-esteem is like venturing on a journey of self-discovery and self-love.
It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness you show to your closest friends, setting doable goals, and celebrating even the tiniest victories.
But don’t forget to tackle those negative thoughts by challenging them head-on. Swap them out with positive affirmations that truly reflect your abilities and potential.
And hey, you should also remember that nobody’s perfect, and that’s what makes each of us special and unique.
Focus on what you’re good at, your strengths and talents, and let them shine in your everyday life.
Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you while steering clear of those toxic vibes.
When things don’t go as planned, see them as opportunities to learn and grow, not as signs of your worth.
Embrace the bumps in the road as valuable lessons on your journey to building a stronger, more confident you.
