People with low emotional intelligence often display these 8 relationship behaviors (without realizing it)

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Ever wondered why you keep running into the same problems in your relationships?

Maybe the reason is something you’ve never considered: Emotional intelligence.

Don’t worry, this isn’t about blaming anyone.

Instead, we want to shed light on this topic. After all, understanding ourselves better can only help us grow and improve our relationships, right?

Emotional intelligence is about knowing and handling our feelings and understanding others’ feelings too.

People who are good at this usually have great relationships. They handle arguments well, understand how their partner feels, and are aware of their own emotions.

But what if someone isn’t so good at handling emotions?

They might not even realize how it’s affecting their relationships. They might be doing things that cause problems without knowing it.

That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

So, let’s get down to it and look at 8 things people with low emotional intelligence often do in relationships.

You might find out something about yourself or your partner that could help your relationship.

1) They struggle with empathy

Empathy is all about being able to understand and share someone else’s feelings. It’s like stepping into their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective.

Now, people with low emotional intelligence often have a hard time with this.

It’s not that they don’t care about others’ feelings. It’s just that they struggle to truly understand what the other person is going through.

This can cause problems in relationships. Their partner might feel like they’re not being heard or understood, thus leading to arguments, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings.

So, if you or your partner often have a hard time understanding each other’s feelings, it might be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

But don’t worry, empathy is something that can be learned and improved with practice!

2) They don’t handle criticism well

Criticism, whether constructive or not, is part of life. It’s especially common in relationships where two people are trying to figure out how to live together harmoniously.

But for people with low emotional intelligence, criticism can be tough to handle. They might take it too personally or see it as a direct attack, even when it’s not meant to be.

This can trigger defensive reactions like lashing out or shutting down, which don’t help resolve the issue at hand.

In a relationship, this can cause tension and prevent healthy communication. If you or your partner find it hard to take feedback without getting overly upset or defensive, it might be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

However, just like empathy, handling criticism is a skill that can be worked on and improved over time.

3) They struggle to express their feelings

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that communication is key in any relationship. And a big part of that is being able to express your feelings openly and honestly.

But for some people, including a younger version of myself, expressing feelings can be really hard.

I remember when I used to get upset about something but couldn’t quite put my emotions into words. So instead, I’d keep quiet, causing my feelings to bottle up inside.

In my relationships, this caused a lot of confusion and frustration. My partner would sense something was wrong, but because I wasn’t communicating, they wouldn’t know how to help or fix the issue.

Looking back now, I realize that my struggles with expressing emotions were a sign of low emotional intelligence.

Luckily, over time, I learned to get better at it. It took some practice and a lot of patience, but it definitely made a positive difference in my relationships!

4) They have a hard time apologizing

One interesting fact is that saying “I’m sorry” is one of the most powerful phrases in any language. An apology can mend fences, heal wounds, and restore trust.

But for people with low emotional intelligence, apologizing can be a mountain too tall to climb. They often struggle to admit when they’re wrong or to take responsibility for their actions.

This isn’t because they’re stubborn or uncaring, but because they find it challenging to identify and accept their faults.

In a relationship, this can lead to prolonged arguments and create resentment. If one person doesn’t apologize when they’re at fault, it can make the other person feel unheard and undervalued.

5) They struggle with emotional control

We’ve all experienced strong emotions—joy, anger, sadness, and fear. They’re a central part of our human experience. But for some people, managing these emotions, especially the more intense ones, can be a real challenge.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with emotional control.

They might react impulsively when they’re upset or allow their mood to dictate their behavior. Instead of responding to a situation thoughtfully, they react on the spur of the moment, which can lead to regrettable actions or words.

In a relationship, this lack of emotional control can be both hurtful and damaging.

Imagine having a disagreement with your partner, and instead of discussing it calmly, they react aggressively or shut down completely. It’s hard, isn’t it?

This struggle doesn’t mean they don’t care or that they want to hurt their loved ones. It’s often just a sign that they have difficulty managing their emotions.

6) They often play the victim

Let’s be straightforward. We’ve all met people who constantly seem to play the victim. They’re always the ones being wronged, never the ones doing wrong. And sometimes, that person is us.

People with low emotional intelligence often fall into this pattern. They struggle to take responsibility for their actions and instead, frame every situation in a way that paints them as the innocent party. It’s not about being manipulative or deceitful—it’s often just how they perceive things.

When one person is always playing the victim, it can feel like they’re not acknowledging their part in any issues that arise. It can make their partner feel unheard and undervalued.

So if you or your partner often find yourself playing the ‘victim card’, it might be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

But here’s the truth: Acknowledging this is already a step towards improvement!

With some self-reflection and honesty, it’s absolutely possible to break free from the victim mentality and take ownership of your actions.

7) They struggle with change

Change is the only constant in life. Yet, for many of us, adapting to change can be a daunting task.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with change, especially when it comes to their relationships.

Whether it’s a shift in dynamics due to a new job or a move, or changes in their partner’s behavior or feelings, they find it hard to adjust.

This resistance to change isn’t just about being set in their ways. It’s often due to a lack of understanding about their own emotions and how to manage them during times of upheaval.

In the long term, this can lead to tension and conflict. If one person is unable to adapt to changes, it can make their partner feel unsupported or misunderstood.

8) They struggle to forgive and forget

Now here’s a hard pill to swallow. Holding onto grudges doesn’t hurt the person who wronged us; it hurts us.

People with low emotional intelligence often find it hard to forgive and forget. They hold onto past mistakes—either their own or their partner’s—and struggle to move forward.

In a relationship, this can create an atmosphere of negativity and resentment. It’s hard to grow together when one person is still stuck in the past.

Remember, forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone’s behavior; it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment. And with time and effort, it’s a skill that can be learned!

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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