People with high emotional intelligence never do these 11 things

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Ever met someone who just seems to get it?

They stay calm, no matter what happens. They’re always positive, and they really understand other people’s feelings.

These folks have something called emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is all about knowing and controlling our own feelings, while being able to understand and connect with the feelings of others.

It helps us tackle problems, keep the peace, and stay cool under pressure.

But it’s not just about what these emotionally smart folks do – it’s also about what they DON’T do.

Let’s go through top 10 things that people with high emotional intelligence never do.

1. They Don’t Let Their Emotions Take the Wheel

People with high emotional intelligence never let their emotions dictate their actions.

It’s not that they don’t feel things deeply, but they have this knack for not letting those feelings cloud their judgment or decision-making process.

So, whether they’re bubbling with happiness or seething with anger, you won’t find them making impulsive decisions based on these emotions.

Instead, they take a step back, understand what they’re feeling, why they’re feeling it and then make rational decisions.

It’s like they have an emotional filter – one that separates the emotion from the action. 

2. They Don’t Ignore Other People’s Feelings

Someone with high emotional intelligence never brushes off other people’s feelings.

They get that everyone has different emotions and they respect them, even if they don’t fully understand or agree.

They’re the ones who listen when you need to vent, and they don’t just nod and smile – they really try to understand where you’re coming from.

They don’t make you feel like your feelings are silly or unwarranted. In fact, they’re awesome at making people feel validated and heard.

So, if you’re sharing your feelings with someone and they’re really tuned in – chances are, they’ve got a high EQ.

3. They Don’t Hold Onto Grudges

A person with high emotional intelligence understands that holding grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack – it weighs you down and doesn’t really get you anywhere.

I remember a time when a close friend let me down. I was upset and felt betrayed.

However, instead of clinging onto that grudge, I decided to address the situation head-on.

We talked it over, and while it didn’t magically erase the hurt feelings, it allowed us to understand each other better and move forward.

Holding onto resentment would have only poisoned our friendship and made me miserable.

So, someone with high EQ knows that grudges aren’t worth the emotional baggage – they understand, forgive, learn, and move on.

4. They Don’t Ignore Their Own Emotions

Did you know that the human body can react to emotional stress in the same way as physical threats?

This is why ignoring your own emotions can lead to physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.

But emotionally intelligent people don’t do this. They don’t push their feelings under the rug and pretend they don’t exist.

Instead, they acknowledge their emotions, understand them, and deal with them in a healthy way.

They know that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes and that recognizing this is the first step towards feeling better. 

5. They Don’t Shy Away From Change

Change can be scary, no doubt about it. It means stepping into the unknown, leaving the comfort of familiarity behind.

But people with high emotional intelligence don’t fear change – they embrace it.

They understand that change is a fundamental part of life, and often, it’s a stepping stone to growth.

They see change as an opportunity – a chance to learn new things, meet new people, and maybe even discover new parts of themselves.

They know that even if change leads to mistakes, they’ll learn from them and come out stronger on the other side.

So, they don’t shy away from change, they welcome it with open arms because they know that life isn’t about staying still but moving forward.

6. They Don’t Seek Approval From Others

As an emotionally intelligent person, I’ve learned over time that seeking approval from others is like chasing a mirage.

It’s an endless pursuit that doesn’t lead to genuine happiness or self-contentment.

I remember back in high school, I used to worry a lot about what others thought of me.

I’d go out of my way to fit in, even if it meant being someone I wasn’t.

But over time, I realized that the only approval I truly need is my own.

I learned to trust myself, to believe in my abilities, and to accept myself, flaws and all.

Now, I make decisions based on what feels right to me, not what might please others. It’s a liberating feeling!

People with high emotional intelligence don’t seek validation from others because they know their self-worth comes from within.

7. They Don’t Live In The Past

Living in the past can be a comfortable trap.

It’s easy to get stuck in the ‘should haves’ and ‘could haves.’

But emotionally intelligent people don’t do this. They understand that the past is a place of reference, not residence.

They know that dwelling on past mistakes or what they could have done differently won’t change what happened. It won’t magically make things better.

Instead, they reflect on their past experiences, take the lessons learned, and use them to grow and improve.

They leave the baggage of regret behind because they know it won’t help them move forward.

And moving forward is what life’s all about, isn’t it?

8. They Don’t Neglect Self-Care

Emotionally intelligent people understand that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

They prioritize self-care because they know it’s essential for their mental and emotional wellbeing.

It’s no secret that engaging in regular self-care activities can lower stress levels, increase life satisfaction, and boost overall happiness.

Whether it’s taking a walk in the park, enjoying a good book, or simply taking a few moments to breathe and relax – emotionally intelligent people know these aren’t luxuries but necessities.

They understand that taking care of their own wellbeing isn’t selfish; it’s essential for them to be able to take care of others effectively. 

9. They Don’t Jump to Conclusions

I’ve learned that jumping to conclusions is like setting a trap for myself.

It’s easy to make assumptions based on a single situation or a small piece of information, but it rarely leads to accurate understanding.

I remember a time when I received an unusually curt message from a close friend. My first reaction was to assume they were angry with me.

Instead of responding in kind or letting my imagination run wild with reasons for their anger, I decided to pause and reach out to them.

It turned out they had been having a rough day and their short response had nothing to do with me.

People with high emotional intelligence recognize that things aren’t always as they first appear.

They take the time to gather more information and understand the context before passing judgment or making decisions.

This approach helps avoid misunderstandings and fosters better relationships.

10. They Don’t Bottle Up Their Feelings

Emotionally intelligent people understand that bottling up emotions is like shaking a soda can – eventually, it’s going to explode.

And when it does, it’s messy.

They know that suppressing feelings doesn’t make them disappear; it just postpones the inevitable outburst.

So, they don’t keep things pent up.

They express their feelings honestly and openly. Sure, it’s not always comfortable, but it’s necessary.

It helps them maintain their mental health and build genuine, transparent relationships.

11. They Don’t Ignore the Small Things

People with high emotional intelligence don’t overlook the small things in life – the tiny details that make up our everyday experiences.

They understand that happiness isn’t always about grand gestures or big achievements.

Sometimes, it’s found in a good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset, or a heartfelt conversation with a friend.

They take time to appreciate these moments because they know life isn’t just about reaching the destination – it’s about enjoying the journey.

In today’s fast-paced world, this might seem insignificant, bu it makes all the difference.

Lost Your Sense of Purpose?

In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.

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With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.

Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.

 

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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