Eliza Hartley
We are all shaped by our childhood experiences. They play a significant role in moulding our behaviours, attitudes, and relationships as adults.
In particular, individuals who were spoiled as children often exhibit certain distinctive characteristics in adulthood.
By “spoiled”, we’re referring to those who were excessively indulged or overly protected by their parents or caregivers, often resulting in a sense of entitlement and lack of responsibility.
However, identifying these patterns is not always straightforward. They may not be immediately apparent and indeed may evolve as the individual matures.
In this article, we’ve identified nine distinct behaviours that adults who were spoiled as children often display – according to psychological research. These insights can help you understand your own behaviour or that of others better.
1) They demand attention
Having been the center of attention during their childhood, adults who were spoiled often crave constant attention and validation.
This desire isn’t always conspicuous; sometimes, it manifests subtly and gradually over time.
You might observe this behavior in different contexts – they may frequently interrupt conversations to steer the topic towards themselves, or consistently seek praise and reassurance for their achievements, no matter how minor.
In social situations, they might always want to be in the limelight, talking predominantly about themselves or their experiences.
If they feel overlooked or underappreciated, they could react negatively, displaying signs of frustration or even anger.
This constant need for attention can be exhausting for those around them, straining relationships and causing friction in social circles.
Remember, it’s important to understand that this behavior is often deeply ingrained and may require time and patience to address.
2) They struggle with empathy
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a crucial aspect of human interaction.
However, adults who were spoiled as children often find this challenging.
With their wants and needs consistently prioritized over others in their formative years, they might have difficulty recognizing or relating to the emotions and needs of others.
This can manifest in various ways – they might dismiss other’s feelings as insignificant or fail to acknowledge them altogether.
In a discussion, they may be unable to see things from another person’s perspective, insisting that their viewpoint is the only correct one.
It’s important to note that this lack of empathy isn’t intentional. It’s a behavior pattern that has been ingrained over years and changing it may require conscious effort and possibly professional help.
3) They’re often insecure
While you might expect adults who were spoiled as children to be brimming with self-confidence, the reality can be quite different.
Beneath the surface, these individuals often harbor deep-seated insecurities.
This may seem surprising given their privileged upbringing.
However, constantly being indulged may have prevented them from developing resilience and coping mechanisms necessary to deal with life’s challenges.
Consequently, they might experience feelings of insecurity when faced with difficulties or competition, fearing that they won’t measure up to expectations.
This insecurity may manifest as a constant need for reassurance, sensitivity to criticism, or even as overcompensation through boastful behavior.
Recognizing and acknowledging these insecurities is the first step towards addressing them and fostering healthier self-esteem.
4) They have difficulty handling rejection
Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow for anyone, but for adults who were spoiled as children, it can be particularly challenging.
Raised with the expectation that their desires would always be met, they may struggle to accept situations where they don’t get what they want.
Whether it’s a job they didn’t land, a relationship that didn’t work out, or a simple disagreement, these individuals may take rejection very personally.
It can trigger feelings of intense disappointment, anger, or sadness and they may struggle to move past these experiences.
However, it’s crucial to remember that rejection is a part of life and learning to deal with it gracefully is an important aspect of emotional maturity.
5) They often struggle with self-discipline
Self-discipline is a tough skill to master, but it’s especially challenging for those who were spoiled as children.
Used to getting what they want when they want it, these individuals may find it difficult to impose limits on themselves and stick to them.
This might manifest as:
- Procrastination
- Impulsivity
- Difficulty maintaining healthy routines and habits
They may struggle with tasks that require patience, consistency, and delayed gratification. Yet, it’s important to approach this issue with understanding and compassion.
Cultivating self-discipline is a journey that requires time, patience, and often a helping hand. Everyone moves at their own pace, and it’s never too late to start.
6) They may be overly critical
We’ve all had moments where we’re overly critical, either of ourselves or others. However, for adults who were spoiled as children, this tendency can be heightened.
Having been constantly praised and indulged, they may have developed high standards and expectations.
When these aren’t met, they can become overly critical – either directing this criticism towards themselves in a quest for perfection, or projecting it onto others, often without realizing it.
This behaviour might surface at work, in personal relationships, or even in casual social interactions.
It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and learning to be patient and forgiving is a part of life.
7) They love the finer things in life
Being spoiled during childhood often comes with a taste for luxury in adulthood.
These individuals have a knack for appreciating the finer things in life, whether it’s:
- Gourmet cuisine
- High-end fashion
- Lavish vacations
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – after all, who doesn’t enjoy a bit of pampering every now and then?
It’s just that for these individuals, the appreciation for luxury can be somewhat above average.
So if you notice your friend always opting for the pricier wine or your partner insisting on staying at the best hotels, remember it’s just their love for quality and comfort shining through.
As long as it’s within their means and doesn’t harm anyone, there’s no harm in a little indulgence!
8) They struggle with responsibility
Let’s not sugarcoat it – adults who were excessively pampered as children often have a hard time shouldering responsibility.
Having been catered to for most of their lives, they may have missed out on learning the importance of accountability and reliability.
This could reflect in their work life, where they might struggle to meet deadlines or fulfill commitments. In personal relationships, they may be unreliable, often letting others down.
This isn’t an easy thing to hear, but it’s a crucial reality check.
Change starts with awareness, and once they recognize this pattern, they can take steps to become more responsible and dependable. It might be a tough journey, but it’s well worth the effort.
9) They can change
Here’s the most important thing to remember: people can change.
Yes, adults who were spoiled as children may exhibit these behaviors, but it doesn’t mean they’re doomed to remain this way forever.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards change. With self-awareness, determination, and possibly some professional help, they can unlearn these behaviors and develop healthier ones.
Change is never easy and it takes time. But with patience, compassion, and consistent effort, it’s more than possible.
Remember, everyone deserves the chance to grow and evolve.
Final thoughts
If you’ve recognized these behaviors in yourself or someone you know, remember that it’s not a life sentence.
If you were spoiled as a child and exhibit these behaviors, it’s not your fault. You didn’t choose your upbringing.
However, as an adult, you can choose to address these behaviors and work towards change.
Alternatively, if you’re dealing with someone who was overly indulged as a child, it’s crucial to approach them with empathy and understanding. Remember that their behaviors are often deeply ingrained patterns, not conscious choices.
This article isn’t meant to label or stigmatize anyone. Rather, it aims to shed light on how our childhood experiences shape us and how we can navigate our way towards personal growth.
Having one or even all of these traits doesn’t define you or anyone else as a person. But recognizing them could be a prompt for self-reflection and perhaps even a catalyst for change.
At the end of the day, we’re all works in progress, continuously learning and evolving. And that’s what truly matters.
