Eliza Hartley
The impact of our upbringing often echoes into adulthood, shaping our behaviors, choices, and even our personalities.
Growing up in a very strict environment can have a profound effect on an individual’s life. The rules, the discipline, the expectations – they all leave a mark that can manifest in various ways as we grow older.
Sure, not everyone reacts to a stringent upbringing in the same way. But there are certain patterns that tend to emerge more frequently. Some behaviors can be traced back directly to the kind of discipline and structure we had as children.
Here are 8 behaviors that are often exhibited by those who were raised in a very strict environment. Recognize any?
1) Adherence to rules
One of the defining characteristics of a strict upbringing is the importance placed on rules and regulations. This can often carry over into adulthood.
Those raised in a very strict environment may find themselves more inclined to follow rules and exhibit a high level of discipline in their personal and professional lives. They’re the ones who abide by the speed limit, never miss deadlines, and are typically punctual to a fault.
This adherence to rules isn’t necessarily a negative trait. In fact, it can often lead to success in fields that require precision and meticulousness. However, it can also lead to stress and anxiety if balance isn’t struck.
Growing up with the constant pressure of strict rules can sometimes make people more rigid and less adaptable to change. They may struggle with flexibility or spontaneous decision-making because they’re used to having a clear structure to follow.
So, notice someone who’s always playing by the book? They might just be a product of a very strict upbringing.
2) Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another common trait observed in individuals who grew up in a strict environment. The high expectations and stringent standards they were subjected to as children can translate into a constant pursuit of perfection.
Take me, for example. I was raised in a household where anything less than an A was seen as a failure. This created an underlying pressure that followed me into adulthood. Even today, I find myself striving for perfection in everything I do.
Whether it’s a work project, a hobby, or even just daily tasks, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that everything needs to be flawless. And while this drive for excellence can lead to high-quality output, it can also lead to unnecessary stress and the tendency to overwork.
Perfectionism isn’t always a bad thing, but when it turns into an obsession, it can have negative impacts on mental health and overall happiness. It’s a balance worth keeping an eye on.
3) Difficulty expressing emotions
Emotional expression is often stifled in a strict upbringing. Children raised in such environments might be taught that displaying negative emotions like anger or sadness is unacceptable. This can lead to a tendency to suppress or hide emotions, which can continue into adulthood.
A study published in the Journal of Family Issues found that individuals who experienced a strict upbringing with little emotional warmth were more likely to have difficulty expressing emotions in their adult relationships. This emotional suppression can lead to issues with communication and emotional intimacy.
So, if you come across someone who often struggles to express their feelings, it might be a reflection of their strict upbringing.
4) High levels of self-discipline
Growing up in a strict environment often involves a lot of self-control and restraint. This upbringing can result in people who are highly self-disciplined in their adult lives.
These individuals may find it easier to stick to routines, diets, or exercise plans. They’re more likely to meet deadlines, stay organized, and avoid procrastination. They’ve been trained from a young age to control their impulses and delay gratification.
While this can be a valuable trait in many aspects of life, it can also lead to rigidity and an inability to relax or let loose. It’s another one of those traits that can be a double-edged sword depending on how it’s managed.
5) Fear of making mistakes
Imagine growing up in an environment where mistakes were not tolerated, where every error was met with punishment or harsh criticism. This can create a deep-seated fear of making mistakes that carries over into adulthood.
People with this fear might find themselves constantly second-guessing their decisions, hesitant to take risks, or overly cautious in their actions. This can hold them back from new experiences and opportunities.
Making mistakes is a natural part of life, and it’s how we learn and grow. But for those raised in a strict environment, it can be a source of anxiety and self-doubt. It’s heartbreaking to see someone trapped in this fear, unable to break free from the judgmental voice in their head that’s always whispering, “Don’t mess up.”
6) Struggle with self-esteem
A strict upbringing can often equate to constant criticism, leading many individuals to struggle with their self-esteem. The relentless pursuit of perfection and the fear of making mistakes can create a feeling of never being good enough.
I remember, as a child, always feeling like I was walking on eggshells, trying to meet the high standards set by my parents. No matter how hard I tried or how much I achieved, it never seemed to be enough. This instilled in me an underlying feeling of inadequacy that persisted into my adult life.
This struggle with self-esteem can manifest in various ways – from being overly critical of oneself to seeking validation from others. It’s a battle that many who were raised in a strict environment fight every day.
7) Over-responsibility
Another common trait of those raised in a strict environment is the tendency to take on too much responsibility. This can stem from a childhood where they were held accountable for their actions to an extreme degree, leading to a heightened sense of duty and responsibility.
These individuals often find it hard to delegate tasks, fearing that if they don’t do it themselves, it won’t be done right. They might also feel responsible for the feelings and well-being of others, often at the expense of their own needs.
While being responsible is generally viewed as a positive trait, an excessive sense of responsibility can lead to burnout and stress. It’s important for these individuals to learn the balance between taking ownership and overburdening themselves.
8) Craving for structure
The final trait often seen in those raised in a strict environment is a strong craving for structure. They’re used to having rules and routines to follow, and this can transform into a need for order and predictability in their adult lives.
They might be the ones who plan their schedules meticulously, love making lists, or feel uncomfortable in spontaneous situations. This craving for structure can be a source of comfort, providing a sense of control in an unpredictable world.
However, it’s also essential to learn how to cope with uncertainty and embrace flexibility. Life is unpredictable, and not everything can be planned or controlled. Finding that balance is crucial for personal growth and mental well-being.
The deeper understanding
The impacts of a strict upbringing on later behavior aren’t merely about discipline or structure. They’re deeply rooted in our psychological development and the way we learn to perceive and interact with the world.
Remember, behaviors aren’t labels. They’re signals, indicative of the myriad experiences that shape us. And understanding these signals can lead to more compassion, empathy, and acceptance – for ourselves and others.
Those raised in strict environments may find familiarity in these traits. But it’s important to remember that while our past shapes us, it doesn’t confine us. We all have the capacity for change, growth, and self-improvement.
As we navigate our own behaviors or seek to understand others, let’s remember these connections. Let’s be patient, understanding, and open to the complexities that make us who we are.
After all, understanding is the first step towards growth. And each step forward is a testament to our resilience, strength, and capacity for change.
