Eliza Hartley
There’s a stark contrast between children who grow up with balanced discipline and those who are excessively spoilt.
This disparity often manifests in adulthood, with overly indulged children displaying distinct personality traits.
Being overly spoilt might seem harmless in childhood, but it can shape how a person behaves as an adult. And guess what? There are eight specific traits that tend to show up.
In this article, we’re going to identify these eight common personality traits often found in adults who were pampered too much as children. Let’s dive in and see if you recognize any of these traits in people around you… or maybe even in yourself.
1) Entitlement
One of the most glaring traits in adults who were overly spoilt as children is a sense of entitlement.
Entitlement, simply put, is the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
Growing up with an excess of indulgence often means these individuals didn’t have to work hard for rewards. This can translate into an expectation of similar treatment in adulthood.
Sound familiar? We’ve all encountered people who behave as if the world owes them something, expecting preferential treatment without any justification.
This sense of entitlement doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It’s often a by-product of receiving too much without having to give anything in return during their formative years.
It’s a stark reminder that balanced nurturing can go a long way in shaping more grounded adults.
2) Difficulty with Rejection
Another common trait among those overly spoilt as children is an inability to handle rejection.
Let me share a personal story here. I once had a friend, let’s call her Jane, who was the epitome of a pampered child. Her parents doted on her and she rarely heard the word ‘no’.
Fast forward to adulthood, and Jane struggled tremendously when she didn’t get her way. Whether it was a job promotion she didn’t receive or a date that didn’t go as planned, the smallest rejection would send her spiraling.
I remember once when we were out for dinner and the restaurant ran out of her favorite dessert. You would have thought the world was ending from her reaction. It was clear that dealing with disappointment was not something she had learned growing up.
It’s important to remember this isn’t about shaming or blaming – it’s about understanding how our childhood experiences can shape our behaviors and responses as adults.
3) Lack of Empathy
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to struggle with understanding the feelings of others? This could be another trait in adults spoilt as children – a lack of empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a skill that’s often nurtured during childhood when we learn to share, take turns, and consider other people’s needs.
Interestingly, a study conducted by the University of Michigan found that students today are 40% less empathetic than they were 30 years ago, with the biggest drop-off happening in the last decade. This is often connected with an increase in indulgent parenting styles.
So when an individual grows up getting everything they want without considering others’ needs, they might struggle to develop a strong sense of empathy. This can result in difficulties forming meaningful relationships as adults.
4) Poor Problem-Solving Skills
Ever met someone who seems to fall apart the minute a challenge arises? They might have been overly spoiled as a child.
Growing up with everything handed to them on a silver platter, these individuals often don’t develop the necessary skills to tackle problems head-on. They’re used to having obstacles removed for them, so when faced with adversity, they tend to crumble.
Rather than finding solutions, they might look for someone else to fix the issue or simply give up. This inability to problem-solve can create a lot of stress and anxiety in their adult lives.
So it’s not just about teaching children to tie their shoelaces, but about equipping them with the confidence and resilience to handle life’s bigger challenges.
5) Difficulty Forming Genuine Relationships
Now, let’s talk about something a bit more personal: relationships. It’s heartbreaking to realize that being overly indulged as a child can impact one’s ability to form real, meaningful connections with others as an adult.
These people often struggle with understanding the give-and-take that is so essential in any relationship. They’re used to being the center of attention, having their needs prioritized, often at the expense of others.
When this pattern continues into adulthood, it can lead to self-centered behavior, making it difficult for them to consider others’ wants and needs. This can strain friendships and romantic relationships, causing feelings of isolation and loneliness.
It’s a poignant reminder that everyone needs to learn the art of compromise and consideration for others – something that starts in childhood but lasts a lifetime.
6) Struggle with Independence
There was a time in my life when I moved out of my parents’ house and into a place of my own. I’ll be honest, it was a struggle at first – cooking, cleaning, managing bills. But these are things most of us learn to handle.
However, for individuals who were overly spoilt as children, achieving independence can be a monumental task. They’re used to having their needs met without lifting a finger, leading to a lack of basic life skills and self-reliance.
This can lead to an overreliance on others in adulthood. It’s not just about not knowing how to do laundry or cook a meal, but a deeper issue of not being able to stand on their own two feet.
Ultimately, it’s about learning that independence isn’t just freedom, it’s also responsibility.
7) High Levels of Frustration
Have you noticed how some people tend to get frustrated easily? This could be another trait displayed by those who were overly spoilt as children – high levels of frustration.
Spoilt children are often saved from experiencing negative emotions or failures. Their parents might always step in to make things right or prevent them from facing any obstacles. As a result, they never learn to cope with frustration or disappointment.
When these children grow up and face the realities of life, they often experience heightened levels of frustration. Even minor inconveniences can trigger an outburst because they’re not used to dealing with things going wrong.
Remember, it’s okay to let children experience disappointment and learn how to overcome it. It’s a crucial part of growing up and becoming a well-adjusted adult.
8) Difficulty Accepting Responsibility
Perhaps the most significant trait displayed by adults who were overly spoilt as children is their struggle to accept responsibility.
Being overly indulged often means they’re shielded from the consequences of their actions. They’re used to having someone else clean up their mess or take the blame.
But life isn’t like that. In the real world, actions have consequences, and it’s important to take responsibility for our mistakes. It’s how we learn, grow, and become better people.
Sadly, those who’ve been excessively spoilt can struggle with this concept. And this failure to accept responsibility can lead to serious issues in personal and professional relationships.
It’s a stark reminder that the way we raise our children has a profound impact on the adults they become.
Final thoughts: It’s not set in stone
Human behavior is complex and is shaped by a multitude of factors. While being overly spoilt as a child can influence certain personality traits in adulthood, it’s essential to remember that it’s not a definitive blueprint.
Each person is unique and carries the capacity to change and grow. Someone who has been overly indulged in childhood can still learn empathy, responsibility, and resilience as they navigate through life.
As American psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” This applies not just to education but to character development too.
So, for those who may identify with some of these traits, don’t be disheartened. It’s never too late to learn new skills, change old habits and become the person you aspire to be.
Remember, our past may shape us, but it does not define us.
