People who try too hard to be liked often display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

Have you ever come across the term “pick me”? It’s a bit of social media slang that’s thrown around to describe someone who seems desperate to be liked.

This isn’t just an online joke, though—it’s based on real-life behaviors that lots of folks slip into when they’re trying to fit in or get a bit of approval.

So, what does it look like when someone is trying too hard? Today, we’re diving into seven behaviors that people who try too hard to be liked often display without even realizing they’re doing it.

It’s about shedding some light on these habits that can make interactions feel less genuine. By understanding and spotting these behaviors, maybe we can all get a little closer to being our true selves around others.

1) Excessive agreement

One thing I’ve noticed time and again is the tendency for people who try too hard to be liked to agree excessively. It’s as if they’ve convinced themselves that disagreement leads to dislike, which is certainly not always the case.

In their quest for acceptance, they often nod along to every opinion or idea expressed, regardless of their own views. 

Unfortunately, this constant agreement can come across as insincere, and it’s a clear sign that they’re trying too hard to fit in.

The irony is that people often appreciate authenticity more than blind agreement. It boosts trust and respect, two key components of likeability.

News flash: it’s okay to have differing opinions. In fact, it’s often a breath of fresh air. 

Honest conversations, even those involving disagreements, can lead to stronger connections and mutual respect.

2) Avoiding the spotlight

Now this one might surprise you. Generally, we’d assume that someone trying too hard to be liked would seek attention. 

But from my experience, they often do just the opposite.

In their fear of rejection or judgment, they often shy away from the spotlight, reluctant to share personal stories or achievements. They believe that by staying under the radar, they’re more likely to be accepted.

The problem is, by doing so, they’re denying others the chance to truly get to know them. And it’s difficult to genuinely like someone if you don’t know who they are or what they stand for.

Being a little vulnerable, sharing your passions and achievements, can actually make you more relatable and likable. It’s about finding a balance between humility and self-expression.

3) Fear of saying ‘no’

One behavior that’s hard to miss is the difficulty in saying ‘no’. If you’re always saying ‘yes’ to everything, it’s not always a sign of generosity or kindness. 

Sometimes, it’s a telltale sign of trying too hard to be liked.

In my experience, I’ve seen people agree to things they don’t want to do, simply because they’re scared of disappointing others. They’re worried that saying ‘no’ will make them less likable. 

But here’s the thing – constantly bending over backwards may lead to resentment and burnout.

Interestingly, I touch upon this issue and delve into it in depth in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s about learning to establish boundaries and realizing that saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you selfish or unlikable.

Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual respect for each other’s needs and boundaries. And sometimes, that means having the courage to say ‘no’.

4) Over-apologizing

Over-apologizing is another behavior exhibited by those trying too hard to be liked.

We’ve all met that person who says sorry far too often, for things they didn’t even do or need to apologize for.

They apologize for the smallest things, often unnecessarily, in an attempt to avoid conflict or to seem more agreeable. It’s as if they’re constantly walking on eggshells, fearful of upsetting anyone.

Over-apologizing can often make the other person feel uncomfortable rather than appreciated.

So, it’s important to say sorry when it’s necessary, but also to be mindful not to overdo it. It’s about striking the right balance.

5) Constant self-deprecation

Now, a little self-deprecating humor can go a long way in showing humility and making people feel at ease. 

But when it’s constant, it can be a sign of someone trying too hard to be liked.

I’ve seen people continuously put themselves down, under the guise of humor, aimed at making others feel better or superior. It’s as if they believe that by belittling themselves, others will find them more likable.

However, from my experience, constant self-deprecation often leads to the opposite effect. People respect those who respect themselves. 

It’s absolutely okay to laugh at ourselves occasionally, but remember to also celebrate your worth and achievements. You are enough just as you are.

6) Overly generous with compliments

Compliments are a wonderful way to express appreciation and to make others feel good. But there’s a fine line between being appreciative and being excessive.

Those trying too hard to be liked often overdo it with compliments. They sprinkle praises so often and so freely that it can sometimes come across as insincere, even if that’s not the intention.

While it’s important to appreciate people, it’s equally important to ensure your compliments are genuine and timely.

A sincere compliment can make someone’s day, but an insincere one can leave them questioning your motives.

For more insights on relationship dynamics and how to navigate them, feel free to follow me on Facebook. You’ll get my latest articles right in your feed.

7) Avoiding confrontation at all costs

This one is a tough pill to swallow. Those trying too hard to be liked often avoid confrontation like the plague. They would rather bury their feelings and grievances than risk an argument or disagreement.

It’s a classic peacekeeper mentality – maintaining harmony is prioritized over addressing issues head-on.

But the truth is, this approach often does more harm than good in the long run.

Unexpressed feelings and unresolved issues can build up over time, leading to resentment or even emotional distancing.

Confrontation, as uncomfortable as it may be, is sometimes necessary for growth and understanding in a relationship.

So, remember, it’s okay to speak up. Your feelings and opinions are valid and deserve to be heard. It doesn’t make you less likable; on the contrary, it shows your authenticity and courage.

Final thoughts 

In our quest for acceptance and belonging, it’s not uncommon to fall into the trap of trying too hard to be liked. 

But as we’ve explored in this article, this often leads to a series of behaviors that can be counterproductive and even damaging to our authentic selves.

It’s crucial to remember that being liked for who you truly are is far more fulfilling than being liked for an image you’ve created to please others. 

Each one of us is unique, with our own quirks and characteristics, and that’s what makes us human.

To explore these concepts further, I highly recommend watching this heartfelt video by Justin Brown. He discusses his personal experience of being single in a big city, reflecting on the importance of slowing down and not trying too hard to meet people.

It’s a valuable watch for anyone who’s ever felt the pressure to be liked.

Remember, you are enough just as you are. You don’t need to try too hard to be liked. Stay true to yourself, respect your own boundaries and needs, and the right people will appreciate you for who you truly are.