People who struggle to take responsibility in relationships usually display these 7 behaviors

It’s no secret that taking responsibility in relationships can be a bit of a tightrope walk. See, some folks find it tough, often falling into patterns that steer them clear of owning up to their actions and decisions.

Take it from me, it’s not uncommon. And more often than not, those who struggle with responsibility usually display specific behaviors. They might not be glaringly obvious, but trust me, they’re there.

In this piece, we’re going to delve into these behaviors, shedding light on what they look like and how they might impact your relationship. So buckle up, it’s time for some hard truths about responsibility in relationships.

1) Shifting blame

In the realm of relationships, there’s a key player that often rears its head when someone struggles with taking responsibility: blame shifting.

You see, it’s much easier to point the finger at someone else rather than accepting that you’ve made a mistake. It’s a classic defense mechanism, and trust me, it’s more common than you’d think.

The blame game can take many forms, from outright accusations to subtle insinuations. It can be as blatant as an argument or as covert as a sarcastic remark.

But the bottom line remains the same: it’s a way of avoiding responsibility for one’s actions or decisions. And this is a behavior you’ll often come across in individuals who struggle with owning up to their role in a relationship.

2) Over-apologizing

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t apologizing a sign of taking responsibility? Well, not always.

In fact, over-apologizing can sometimes be a hidden indicator that someone is struggling with responsibility in a relationship. Curious? Let me explain.

When someone frequently says “sorry” for things they aren’t truly responsible for, it can be a way of avoiding genuine accountability. It’s a quick fix, a band-aid solution to move past an issue without really facing it or taking responsibility for their role in it.

It’s like saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.” The former is an apology for someone else’s feelings, the latter is an apology for one’s own actions.

So if you find your partner is often saying “sorry,” but without any real acknowledgment or change in behavior, they could be struggling with taking responsibility in their relationship. It’s an interesting paradox, isn’t it? But that’s the complexity of human behavior for you.

3) Avoidance of confrontation

Let’s talk about confrontation. It’s not exactly a fan-favorite, is it?

Now, if you’ve read Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, you’ll know that confrontation is not always negative. In fact, it’s often a necessary step towards resolution and growth.

Yet, when people struggle with responsibility in relationships, they might shy away from any form of confrontation. It’s like a hot stove they don’t want to touch. Why? Because it often involves admitting wrongs, acknowledging mistakes, and yes, taking responsibility.

Avoiding confrontation means avoiding the possibility of being held accountable for actions or decisions. It’s a sort of escape route, an exit door from having to face the reality of their role in a relationship conflict.

But remember, avoidance is only a temporary solution – sooner or later, one has to face the music.

4) Denial of the obvious

Albert Einstein once said, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” And that rings true in relationships too.

One behavior that often accompanies a struggle with responsibility is the denial of the obvious. It’s like someone standing in the rain and insisting they’re not getting wet.

In my years of experience, I’ve seen this play out time and again. Someone might make a mistake that’s clear as day, but they’ll deny it, dismiss it, or downplay it. It’s an avoidance tactic, a way to sidestep responsibility.

But denial can only mask reality for so long; the truth always has a way of coming to light.

It’s a tough behavior to navigate, but acknowledging it is the first step toward addressing it. Because as Einstein wisely pointed out, truthfulness – in big things and small – really does matter.

5) Inconsistency in actions and words

Now, let’s talk about one of the most confusing behaviors – inconsistency between actions and words.

You’ve probably come across this before. Someone says one thing, but their actions tell a completely different story. It’s like they’re playing two different roles at the same time.

In my experience, this inconsistency is often a telltale sign of someone struggling with responsibility in a relationship. It’s as if they’re trying to paint a certain picture of themselves with their words, but their actions reveal the real canvas.

This inconsistency can be disconcerting and confusing. It can leave you questioning what’s real and what’s not. But the important thing to know is that actions often speak louder than words.

6) Repeated broken promises

There’s a quote by Benjamin Franklin that goes, “Promises may fit the friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies.” And this couldn’t be more true in relationships.

One behavior that tends to surface when someone is struggling with responsibility is the habit of breaking promises. They might make grand promises, but when the time comes to follow through, they fall short.

I’ve seen this happen time and again. It’s as if the person is trying to paint a picture of commitment and reliability with their promises, but their inability to keep them tells a different story.

Broken promises erode trust and can cause significant strain in a relationship. They are often a sign of someone struggling with taking responsibility for their actions.

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7) Fear of vulnerability

Let’s get real for a moment. Being vulnerable is scary. It’s like standing in the middle of a battlefield with no armor on.

And when it comes to responsibility in relationships, vulnerability plays a huge role. Owning up to your mistakes, admitting your wrongs, asking for forgiveness – that’s raw vulnerability.

But not everyone is comfortable with this level of openness. Some folks are terrified of it. It’s like a monster under their bed, and they’ll do anything to avoid facing it.

The fear of vulnerability often leads to a struggle with taking responsibility in a relationship. After all, accepting responsibility means admitting you’re not perfect, and that can be incredibly hard.

Keep in mind, vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s an act of courage. And taking responsibility in relationships often requires that courage to be vulnerable.

Wrapping up

Taking responsibility in a relationship is not always a walk in the park. It requires vulnerability, courage, and a deep understanding of oneself.

It’s about more than just saying “I’m sorry”; it’s about aligning your actions with your words, making amends when you’ve made a mistake, and being willing to grow from the experience.

As we navigate relationships, it’s essential to remember that we are all works in progress. We stumble, we fall, but what matters is that we get up and learn from these experiences.

When we struggle with taking responsibility in relationships, it’s often a sign that there’s room for growth and introspection.

Now, if you’d like to delve a little deeper into this topic, I recommend watching this video by Justin Brown. It’s a thoughtful exploration of the complexities of finding a life partner.

From understanding shared values to the significance of growth and mutual support in a relationship, Justin reflects on his personal experiences and shares valuable insights that can help us better navigate our relationships.

Remember, relationships are a journey, not a destination. And part of that journey involves taking responsibility for our actions and decisions. It might not always be easy, but trust me, it’s worth it.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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