Isabella Chase
They’ve been cheated on—not once, not twice, but several times!
And so, of course they’re no longer the same innocent person they once were.
Trauma can rock us to the core and change us in a lot of ways.
But while most people develop negative traits because of it, they’re able to come out stronger and wiser.
Want to know what makes them stand out?
Here are 10 unique strengths of people who still believe in love even though their exes cheated on them.
1) They aren’t bitter
Two of my exes cheated on me. This made it harder for me to believe in love again.
I became bitter. In fact, I got so bitter that I dated just to hurt men!
And when they started to develop feelings for me, I pushed them away just because I was angry at anyone that resembled my exes.
I also said things like “all men are cheaters” and “all men are narcs!”
People who still believe in love even though they’ve been cheated on aren’t like this.
They probably were angry for a while but they refused to become a victim of their past.
You won’t hear them say the things I said.
Instead, they’d say something like “Oh, I was cheated on, alright…but not all men are cheaters.”
2) They still believe in the one
Their experience, although very painful and traumatic, did not break them or make them feel like they’ll never find love.
What it did was make them realize that they’re simply with the wrong people—period.
It has made them believe that the one for them is still out there. And one day, they will meet.
Them being cheated on was just the Universe leading them to the right direction.
They know that one day, they’ll say: “Thank God those men cheated on me. Otherwise, I’d never find the one.”
3) They’ve forgiven the people who’ve hurt them
They don’t get teary-eyed or angry when they talk about their exes…or the people they’ve cheated with.
In fact, they talk about them like they’re just regular people they used to know.
No “I wish he’d rot in hell” or any of that.
That’s because they’ve probably processed their feelings already.
And now, on the rare occasions that they talk about them, you even see pity on their face.
They’d tell you that they pity those people who cheated because they’re not capable of real love.
4) They’ve learnt from their past
Now that their wounds are healed, they see their exes as just lessons from the Universe.
They’re not even lessons on “how to spot cheaters” or “people to avoid”, nope. They’re lessons on love and life.
After all, their relationships weren’t all bad.
Every relationship has good and bad memories and they come with a unique set of lessons we all can learn from.
Through them, they’ve learned more about themself, about other people, and about love and letting go.
They’ve also probably acquired new relationship skills which they can later apply to their next partner.
These people have what we call a growth mindset. They make the most out of everything—even their suffering.
5) They’re excited for their future
They’re giddy about things to come as if they didn’t experience heartbreak and betrayal.
You hear them say things like “Oh, I can’t wait to meet Mr. Right.” or “I’M THRILLED! I think we’re really a good match!!”
The ones who’ve succumbed to bitterness would rather not date.
They’d say something like “Nah, I’m DONE dating.”
People who still believe in love choose to be tough.
They refuse to believe that they won’t have a happy ending.
6) They don’t spread fear
They won’t share their bad experiences to “warn” those who are happily in love.
They won’t spread paranoia and fear just because it happened to them.
Why?
Because that won’t do anyone any good.
We know everyone’s going to die one day—every single one of us— but do we really have to keep reminding people of that fact?
No. We let them enjoy life and focus on the good things.
People who still believe in love CHOOSE to be hopeful, and that’s what they want others to do, too.
7) They’re genuinely happy when their friends get hitched
You won’t see them roll their eyes and say “Bah, they’ll break up one day.”
Even if a couple has just been together for a few months and they announce that they’re getting married, they’d still be thrilled.
Because here’s the thing: life (and people) are really just so unpredictable!
There are those who remain married for decades even if they got hitched just a week after meeting each other.
And there are those who break up a few days after their wedding even if they’ve been together for a decade.
People who still believe in love are aware that life comes with risks.
But love is always worth pursuing. Always, always.
8) They’re vigilant but not paranoid
Who wants to be cheated on again and again and again?
No one—especially not them!
That’s why they’re definitely much wiser now.
They can spot cheating red flags quicker than the average Jane or Joe.
That’s also why they made a vow to themselves to try to choose the next person wisely.
But at the same time, they try their best not to get too stuck up and paranoid.
If their date won’t reply fast, they won’t think it’s a red flag right away, for example.
They’d think they’re probably just busy.
But if they go hot and cold and they haven’t reached out in two weeks, they’d go “hmmm, this is not right.
I’ll confront them about it and if things don’t get better, on to the next.”
9) They’re hopeful but not naive
They’re now very aware of what people can do to hurt other people.
They now know that love isn’t all roses and lollipops and 10pm kisses.
But what makes them strong is that they resist the temptation to become cynical.
They CHOOSE to remain hopeful even if life can get dark.
Why?
Because what’s the point of sulking?
They’d rather be a ray of sunshine in this big, bad, scary world…even if it means they will get hurt again.
10) They’ve accepted that everyone is flawed
Not only do they know that we all have flaws, they know that we are fundamentally flawed!
And that’s because we’re human.
They’re aware that we’re bound to hurt each other in one way or another.
That we’re bound to commit mistakes even if we don’t mean to.
That no one is truly evil. And no one can be truly good no matter how hard we try.
What’s wonderful about this is that they’re more understanding and patient of the people around them.
This kind of wisdom also protects them from another major heartbreak—which, to me, is their biggest blessing.
They’re now more capable of loving genuinely without expecting anything in return.
Final thoughts:
It’s not easy to develop positive traits from negative experiences so if you know someone who has these traits, let them know how awesome they are.
If this is you, give yourself a pat on the back. You did it. You didn’t let cheating break you!
And if this is someone you love, love them even more and do treat them right.
Show them that they don’t deserve any of the suffering they experienced.
